Saturday, May 5, 2012

Fiscal, Europe, Mental'n all

it is indeed a very difficult world to live in now and a difficult world to make sense of.

it seems that the 'money' element is so prominent in all countries that trying to balance the books means the people get left out.
those that cannot take the strain end up in all the major rivers and waters of Europe right now, the Rhine, Danube and Liffey all drag out the bodies of the despairing.

the moans and groans of utter discontent and the hating of governments across the globe is evident and you cannot get away from that.  Never now.

where are the people though and what are they doing?
(apart from trying to sort economics, personal and global)?
I mean, where is my neighbour, where is my church and where are my family and friends?

This is something i just cannot understand at all.
The reasons are many but yes, i too am caught up in the mess of a personal life.
How much of the mess was my fault is open to debate, as is the world's troubles.
When does the responsibility lie on your shoulders alone?
And should it be lonely and loveless and hard work alone?
Should we not expect the neighbour, the church and the friends and family?
I hear my contempories saying to me that 'well, they are young, all doing their own thing.'
This is the biggest cop out i have ever heard and explains nother about the concepts of moral thinking other than there is no emotional or intellectual thinking going on!
for what can you do with the above sentence?

Yes, to me most nowadays do not care a jot for others in trouble.
We just bail out and bail into our own personal lives and live in a microcosm of narcisstic pursuits and if cars are bashed up, drink taken and women made pregnant its all a 'mistake.'
Never anything other than a 'mistake' not a crime or a moral crime.

we are in difficult times of different moral thinking.
what about those who are over the age of the pole dancing floors and the enthusiastic sex in the flipping broom cupboards of europe.
As we age we matter less and less, but we are still alive.
we dont need the drink and the sex and we couldnt do much with poles.
my example of this is trying to dig a hole for a pea support is about as slippery and impossible as any pole going upward and nowhere.
but i am disconnected from society.

the inability really to engage either with peers and society has made me very sad and very confused as to 'meanings' in life.
for i see here my twin also struggling, no pole, no stakes but a stake in life until we draw our last breath.
we yearn for the small connections of a welcomed visit from the next generation who never seem interested, even if we show wonderful interest and concern.
we yearn for the person to ask at the door would you like to drop by for a cuppa, to maybe respond, 'well i wouldnt be able, but do come in if able, and we can share here.'
what about my wallpaper?
yes, what about my wallpaper?
See, duck egg and gorgeous drawing?
whatabout my Wallpaper coloured duck and grey?
well i adore it, see, but will you see, will you come see?
no, probably not and so i have to sit here with no affirmation and no real follow through of joy in a task hard thought out and needing the human consent on the result.
most people do, so i know i am not alone.
but some are more alone than others.

we struggle to eat with no knife and fork but spoons we cannot hold well at this stage of our neurodegeneration.
we struggle too with exhaustion and despair, for we have that in spades.
society has provided so little help its shocking in extreme.
while the young men go out to recapture the ideal world of wealth and fiscal balance, we struggle with the concept of our lives of decline, alone and then to the grave shortly and away with the fairies to be forgotten really.
the feeling -
that feeling of pointlessness of it all.
the bursting of enthusiasm for small jobs done and yet no one to share it with.\
we have ALL disabled people around the world struggle, all with mental health difficulties are terrorised with social bullying for the rest of their lives.
we have disabled and psychologically challenged traumatised and fearful about the next A&E visit and wonder will it be this time the virtual ward near the laundry will see a corpse or a doctor.

its worrying the way the world is going.
we need the people back, not to fight for the wrongs of the nations but to embrace the needy and the people struggling so badly.
it was done during world wars, so its possible.
anything is possible and so i lie here and wait and hope for the miracle that  of 'possible'
sadder and sadder you become in a tired life.

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