Tuesday, July 16, 2013

lost but found and lost again

hi everyone,
sorry for not posting as frequently as i should.
the health has taken a dive.

shall i start with the good news then?  ah why not!
it is in short supply so the blog will not really contain much more, except at the end something might happen, you never can tell....but it might.

I have been granted permission by the HSE overseas treatment fund to get over to Queens Square for review, assessment and consideration.
this is GREAT news actually!
it is MEANT to prepare a care plan for my return.

Have i heard these words before - answer, yes.
but i am very hopeful that this will produce this as its coming from the top brass in UK and possibly europe.

we have to remain forever positive.

On the downside the slide is downwards, i am afraid.
the HSE continue the harrasment over returning the bucket chair, the powered wheelchair.
no one seems to be that ignited to fight for me but i am fighting.
I have indeed contacted ah Brian Crowley MEP, and by the end of this email should remember his first name, forgive me for forgetting but i do a lot of that these days, its easy really when your brain is effectively witless tired and jaded. (its been slotted in now remembered)!

I am waiting for physio, thats like butterflies, the one day wonders that come about when well, when butterflies decide to fly for the one day some day if not at all day, but no not for six months, but now we (twin and i are on the list)
I am also on the list for psychological input, not to sort my head at all but to make sure it stays on the shoulders and to try repair the confidence plummet after moving to this land of - well i thought peace and tranquillity for ever and ever amen and more.

that hasnt happened.
the care in this county for older people is non existant.
but as my staying guest/student who is going to fund the stay, 'there are a lot of babies in G...'
indeed there are...nice and rounded, fat pink and healthy.
so why are the babies then clogging up all the nurses time and attention at these weigh in clinics and advice clinics.
you see them enter in the expensive prams and looking good.
so why cant parenting be as primeval as it was intended, natural.  Most parents are good parents.
i am not denying the fact that vulnerable groups need to be watched and cared for.
not at all.
i dont think its either cost effective or fair to just have every baby in the county turn up at an alarming frequency.
and for each baby there is a triplicate report, thats obligatory.
the nurses are jaded and weary.
the elderly in the county, the disabled and other many vulnerable groups are missing out from the community care now practically consumed by babies
its not that equal in my opinion and having babies is sort of natural.  Mothers are good to them, in the main.
but a lonely 88yr old crashing to the floor and having a bloodied head which needs attending, needs the input from a district nurse, she needs watching.
oh same woman is angry that she is being told all about what she can avail of, you know home help and stuff.  she doesnt want it.
i know why.
it can be goddam invasive,  many cannot cope.
i have to cos i badly need it, but no i find it hard to cope with this.
hence the waiting list for the psych help, not psychiatry no, just someone to ease the burden of stress over coming here.
where the babies are.
what else have i not got and what list do i remain on.
well the emg never happened and am on the list for that.
the heart 24hr monitor never happened so waiting for that.
achilles attention never happened so continue to be in awful pain but waiting for an ultrasound and a dye thing xray for a hand that has now developed a trigger finger.
i am badly needing summer shoes and the denial and withdrawal of that funding means i am wearing clapped out orthotic shoes for deformed feet which saw me too hit the deck and gain a sprained ankle, its the same ankle as the busted achilles so now extra pain and no one cares a sh...how i attempt to walk.
i dont see health professionals except to give me a jab for the cytamin injection which is usually awfully painful for some reason.
i never had a painful injection before and the gp refuses to do it to ease my pain.

i have a lovely spanish lady staying with me as part of a three week stay educational like and she is a leader making sure the 15yr olds do nothing silly and move without supervision..they are testing her nightly...i think so far she has contained them to the rules, ok.

lovely girl i have to say.
its been fine but i have to learn now to have someone in my new home, its kinda financially testing to keep going on the disab pension and i manage just about so extra has to come.

is there any final good news eh?
well we are putting in to the equality tribunal a report to support our/my claim under the equal status act against the HSE.
i believe i am right in doing this.
it can however be a test case to see if ireland can deliver justice... we have to see on that.
Dr. Margaret raging Wheels has been working flat out on the documents.
she of EU fame and training social worker fame and saving lives of those who were abused by clergy.
she rang me this morning when reviewing some of the details "god ann this is awful stuff!'
need i say more.
oh oh good news i forgot.
well we went to the Moxie studios to look at photo books i enjoyed it and believe my twin did too, but next day i had the weeps and bawling yawling on the swinger collapsed in utter exhaustion.
still lying horizontal and shattered but there you are there you go.
still debating genetics and pain with people who i think find this subject rather baffling and confusing, comparisons been made on how children suffer worse than adults.
i do not buy this comparison at all.
children actually have a naievity that gets them by and love which can come in spades and hope because they have a 'magic thinking' mindset.
the adults however can feel drained, have an intellectual understanding that its never ending and they would be right,that they are left to fight for their needs usually alone and they have to live it like children do not.
rarely is a grown adult soothed other the rough patches. you sit it out or in my case lie it out.
the dyamics of communication defeats me most times, i find it difficult.
but for sure, it is worth it and it can start a debate that may end in a positive outcome, but i shall leave it once the name calling begins, because i am too tired to go down that route of whatever.
so so so so ah.

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