Yes almost two years of talk has produced talks on talks but no real evidence of change in my life.
my twin and i had been left for a full ten years in severe and agonising fall out from suffering by an organisation, the largest in the state.
only feisty women fight this level of chaos, suffering visited upon them and try to sort it through a process to find that more of the same is occurring.
this is so wrong and abusive.
it amounts to torture and at least we have ratified that convention.
if you agree to sort a mess -the full idea of sorting such a situational mess is to sort it swiftly and move on for waiting in the wings is surely even more of the same.
Nothing in Ireland happens as 'once offs' and if it happened to us, its happening to too many others.
the idea was as the aggrieved to place on the table what you feel will aliviate the suffering, pain and trauma that resulted.
what you get is very different.
the usual word is 'no.'
or the usual word is 'we will look into that and come back to you on that.' meaning they will give this some thought.
but that too can take forever here, most Irish people know this.
we have sorted nothing in this process.
my life has been turned upside down by this very powerful organisation.
i am lost in this mess.
this sense of 'loss' they love, because if a person shows that they are struggling they will keep up the pressure hoping to break you down.
i am not for breaking down on this, but certainly it is all robbing my quality of life and any life at all.
Life has come to a standstill for ten years.
three filing cabinets later and all the documents tabulated and searched i have a book in there that will equal any McCabe case or 'grace case.' I see it as another.
what i have seen on file would make your hair curl.
right now i want this organisation to stop playing games with my life, the only life i have and need.
if people come to ireland to work or spend time, be warned.
things turn sour if you need the help of the healthcare system, public that is, because its rotten to the core and dangerous territory to enter into, so beware it will never serve you, ever.
it has no capacity or will to do so.
this also includes many consultants in the hospital settings who treat you as equally dirt like the rest of the public directed services to serve the sick here.
remember we are not a sophisticated nation.
we may have a lot of laughter, wit and intelligence, but that doesn't equate to sophistication.
everything about the healthcare system is dangerous.
but it doesn't have to be that way.
there is no reason for instance to prolong the agony of a mediation process taking place as agreed when they can then walk on by to the next mess they need to sort.
there is something strange in the psyche that to argue over two ants dancing on the head of a pin, consistently and constantly for a protracted time is utterly perverse.
time is money.
time is money when you sent three professionals to a house of a single woman to look at her bedroom, stand at the doorway, look in and see a bed frame with no mattress.
three health care professionals wondering if they gave you a bigger bed would it fit in.
did anyone hear of a measuring tape?
this seems like a war and again it doesn't have to be. many officials on the ground are decent people, so we have to start looking at the famous managerial groupings to wonder how it all comes about that people act the way they do.
so after coming to look at the bed only they then take themselves off to a public pool to test the water temperature!
i kid you not.
they are unable to provide proper hydrotherapy for two woman with progressive neurodegenerative disease and a complex and rare one so they are going to see if the local swimming pool is warm enough for us.
it never has been.
my sister asked on the local forum how did people find this pool.
variations on the theme and word 'freezing' came back as an answer.
the harbour is warmer one said, before deleting the comment probably worried about a slating at the pool, this is a small community.
i am still banned from that forum.
ireland remains a toxic country.
it is toxic to those who cannot pay to get out of trouble once they are in it.
it is toxic for the poor, the sick the vulnerable, the isolated and alone and the needy.
its a tiny slice of USA and trumpitism.
its a tiny slice of UK with the extremes of conservatism killing thousands of their sick and disabled with their pips.
its not a nice place to be and you can feel very trapped and alone here with no ally in the right places.
i hate it.
it may consider it second to the vatican in holiness, but thats not the same as godliness.
not a nice thing to say of your country.