will it end...when will it end...can myself and twin sister find peace and a bit of happiness?

both of us are tired today, very.

tired tired tired tired tired tired

Newcastle UK test which discovered why we are so tired all the time, but not the cause and not the answer.

Margaret came with me to my new GP.

i was terrified of her after my first meeting with her.  today she announced that they do only one set of bloods per year, i presume that is for public patients.  that actually was a shock to me, i have never heard of this before.
don't get sick then and ask for bloods if you have had one in a year.
this is actually bizarre i have to say.

my twin is tired, tired, tired, tired.....too.

moving on twin and i had a bit of a tiff.
the stress of where we are and what we are going to do, how to make decisions when options are so little and we have next to no help in making them or having ideas materialise for us.

we feel incredibly alone and frightened.
i think with good reason.

again the bloody issue of the wheelchairs, still four years on not sorted.
again too the unhappiness i feel down here and our weariness to decide what to do about it all.

this is all a result of one very large organisation.
the HSE.
yes, i know some of them see my blogs and bother to come here to read.
few are willing to help us.
few care.
but why then do they do the jobs they do?
why do they pretend to care and get paid to care when they do not?

to me more are now so unhappy with the hse it beggars belief.
litigation is through the roof.
not only now are the HSE shoring up funds to support their losses, but also sending back others when they fail to spend designated budgets.
its so crazy.
in between the patients are lost entirely.

Ireland now is only one of two countries in the EU not to ratify the convention on the rights of those with disabilities, this leads to strain and unequal treatment for those of us disabled.
so they basically can do anything to us.
this of course is against human rights but without this clause that they support our rights, we have no rights.
there is nothing to stop the government not ratifying the convention so say the lawyers at Galway University.
there is nothing impeding this, except the wish that the government want, to have us under their control so we do not have a say.
but we can have a say when it comes to the election.
more then the disabled will vote with the vote.
we will walk away after deciding that we need this government out of our lives, for downright betrayal full square betrayal both of our need and our rights as citizens of this state.

we are both tired tired tired of it all

still further more are asking, if the economy is improving, well where is it improving?
whose lives are further enriched in recent times by the economy improving.
i hate to tell them, no one i know either workers or non workers, the struggle is the same and more at the food banks and soup kitchens.
like never before.
our last soup kitchens were set up by the Quakers during the famine.
we have a famine here for most of the poor but  none of the rich, who are getting richer.

i still say no matter what way you look at it, solving budget overspending by giving out eleven year old cobbled together old wheelchairs, that go into walls with a patient in it, is not the answer.
there is an answer.
i doubt the hse is so skint they cannot provide for us.
it just that they cannot manage either the service or the budgets.
they lack that skill, and its a skill.
there is duplication and overkill on bureaucracy.
they have a bank for the lawyers who are employed by the HSE and another for the litigation, another for the 'just in case' and leaving none for the 'urgent cases and the needy cases.'
this is the way they operate.
rather than have the lawyers and the litigation cases, why not have best practice which will kill off the lawyers need and the litigation need.

if you work well then you wont be sued.
it works in theory, but also in practise.

everyone knows its all a shite shambles.
even the HSE know that.
its hell to be at the receiving end and hell to work within it.
its a case of man bites dog.
but suffering is now endemic and dangerous.

we have a serious case here.
we have too many serious cases and i am extremely worried.

oh, as i got up a few stairs today to see the doctor she exclaims aghast, why do you need wheelchairs, you got up those stairs, i tell you i despair, and its very much a case of
'Jesus wept.'
my twin and i limped exhausted back to the van with our two sticks apiece, if only people could FEEL the pain, the tiredness and the sickness.
since when are the only group of people seen to need a wheelchair those with snapped spines.

here is my 'educated guess'  i am sick!

come on, will you try at least to pretend to be educated.