I have not enough pitbulls for the hse

another day and the same story in holy ireland.

We have a problem in ireland and i am still trying to work all this one out.
Ireland that is.

I guess the reasons why we are like we are is we are a small island and our history is steeped in gossip, slander, roguery and interbreeding.

its the only way i can fathom my country now.
its lack of modernity
lack of morality
lack of intelligence (the ones that stay that is)
the lack of diversity (the gossip elements)

we just seem never to work as a nation, ever.

the hse is a case in point and why do i say this?
because although about to be disbanded, it is relatively modern endeavour and when we discover now its gone all pear shaped its being scrapped, for another type of health service provider.
God knows what will come next, if the last two brigades didnt suit will anything?

We will shoot with the 'intelligence' bit first.

You get a powered chair, assessed for it.
you already had a powered scooter (but its clapped out, and known to be)
you ring in to say the wheelchair now has 'gone down with an illness, and it may be terminal.'
you ask what should you do with it
and the answer you get is...we are coming to take it back because you are not allowed have two powered gizmos at the same time!
now thats intelligence.

What will they do with a broken powered scooter that has been done to death on the roads, which has mrsa probably attached to not only the handlebars?
will they give it to some other poor sod eh?

or does it go the horse meat way?
or is THAT actually the horse meat way?

the powered chair is already a reconstituted bucket from ballyhaunis and how do i know this?
they told me they were reconstituting them up and sourced a place in ballyhaunis to do just this, but this isnt even the horse meat way cos its been found out, i have this item less than a month, and its already terminal.

I can also say that in the beginning of the year both my twin's scooter and mine were taken out by disease and the van died due to being in a fatal crash so we were effectively left in our estate without any means of getting to doctors appointments and other and no other way to buy food or set ourselves up, no we do not have anyone to do this we are on our own entirely and so we relied on the odd taxi.
this was paid for out of our funds.
not only that, but we nearly went  mental in the process, holed up in a place with no name.

mine has now, its called 'wicket' i kid you not, and not without reason.

so we paid for taxis until we couldnt afford that anymore and the mental status got me to ring the hse and ask when the two scooters were to be fixed.
'can you wait another two weeks?' was their answer.
Am i still 'with the' intelligence bit or have i moved on to another category when i mention this phrase?

No we cannot wait another two weeks, came the response.
now you know why my home is named thus.

they were fixed.
by an outfit being sued.
the scooters didnt go much better and so we got in another crowd.
this cost us plenty and no, the hse didnt refund us this either.
so this scooter, which they want back has now been paid for IN FULL.
its about ten years old anyway and i kept it serviced and spruced, so i feel its mine and i have earned it and loved it.
i dont love the ~HSE, but they know that, i have good reason.
they don't seem to get it and tell me that the staff feel dispirited with my attitude.
well i am the one feeling disgruntled with attitude, i can tell you personally.

then we have a case of economics and the way the health provision is run here in ireland.
we have a case of the saluki dog and the pitbulls.
those with the saluki and cash in hand can get bloods done instantly.
those who havent money have to have enough pitbulls to fight and you don't usually win but do end in tears as i did today when the gp tells me that he doesn't get paid to do bloods.
I needed to know my muscle enzyme markers and my autoimmune markers as i had a flare during the week which saw me in the wheelchair (the twin's one, remember mine is sick) and also because i am seeing the neurologist and absolutely need to know the status of my muscle enzymes because i have a muscle wasting disorder and this is my attempt to get OUT of ireland to no. 1 get a diagnosis and some class of treatment.
the only diagnosis i have to date is they know i am in a wheelchair and i am on morphine, other than that, i dont know why and thats what i want to know.
if i dont before i did they will not get my body for scientific research which i had promised but as they have done little when i am alive i doubt they will get my body when dead.
i cannot be worth MORE when i am dead then i am alive and its looking increasingly like this now.

we also had a bath-bad situation with the HSE too. they refused to me allow me keep it, even in my own private home, my first private home.
if i wanted to avail of the adaptation grant, they said i had to get rid of the bath and have a wetroom as they 'didnt want me coming back for more', this was a hse decision.
fearing me not being able to avail of the adaptation grant to allow me make the place suitable for a wheelchair  i had to agree with the wetroom, even if i had no choice, never met the person who was making me do this and i told the council i would still try to save my bath by discussion with the hse.
months and months and months went by and finally i managed with the help of the local td to save the bath - and this is about the most useful medical aid i have within these walls.
the bath helped my severe pain (i am on morphine).
i have generalised dystonia - a neurodegenerative difficulty.
i have a muscle wasting disorder and restless legs and fibromyalgia.
all helped by taking a bath.
none could be helped by a hole in the floor sitting upright in a hard chair.
so when i fought hard for the bath retention, i then lost the 20,000k. one old 1980's bath and a blasterboard wall saved and yet i lost 20,000k in the adaptation grant.
this had me driving around in the van in tears.
when were the irish institutions ever going to let me have the peace i yearned for.
how is it that a semi state organisation can MAKE you do something to your home, against your will all because 'we dont want you coming back for more.'
this wasnt about disability, it was economics.
an identical twin with a doctorate wasnt even quizzed queried nor bullied in the same manner.
i was, they knew i had nothing, absolutely nothing.
so they could interfer in my first home, which i paid for with an inheritance from my deceased dad and my deceased sister.
we have the state interferring in my life now DECADES and will it end.
i ask you to decide and make real for me.
but then when it comes to disability and the people who are disabled people in Ireland, it happens us, all of us, not just myself but us as a group.
this is what terrifies all disabled people in ireland, the disempowerment if you fight back.
and i will fight back.
no one can deny i will fight back.
if the HSE wrongs me, i will be on again and again and again, blogging the fact.
it effects me you know.
i have brain damage and asperger, but i will not, cannot let this sort of abuse go on, it goes on for all with disability in ireland.
this is not only my story, its the story of the saluki against the pitbulls.
and i walk tall and gracefully as a saluki but fight like a saluki, but the rich man's palm is not mine, i rely on how strong the teeth are and how i can hold on vice like for justice.

torture in ireland is totally unnecessary

today i was trying to settle for the weekend.

it is very hard in Ireland right now.
If you are disabled here, it torturous.
it is not only difficult to DEAL and ACCEPT disability, acquired disability along with birth defects but to deal with bourocracy here is on the level of torture.

there is no other way to put it and we have to face this.
We are not comfortable here with disability of any kind and we are being used as a butt to the economic difficulties and troubles.

I HAVE CONTRIBUTED IN NO WAY WHATSOVER TO THE FINANCIAL DOWNFALL OF MY SMALL COUNTRY ON THE EDGE - OF NOWHERE.

when i could, i worked.
when i was sick and now disabled i could not and cannot.
this is why we ensure to the best of our abilities to keep paying taxes and contributing as best we can.
this is a moral thing, to be able to say that you are not a drain on society but then again, very few are as all have gifts and talents to give to our fellow human being.
I have contributed, in more terms than financial.
I WAS BORN DISABLED, YET, i consistently worked with disabled people and brought empowerment and enjoyment in sometimes a limited life and style of living.
i brought laughter and joy and acceptance.
where ever i roamed within the day centres where i taught and in the homes i visited, the homes for the elderly, i was indeed enjoyed and people looked forward to my classes and my banter and skill.

yet now when the tables are turned and i NEED THE HELP THAT I SHOULD BE GETTING WITH ACCEPTANCE and WITH GOOD WILL, I FACE 'IRISH TORTURE'

there has been bullying on the part of the health services, there has been tears and accusations and slander too.
there has been a total unacceptence of who i am and an unwillingness to embrace my 'difference' as i present as a disabled woman with an autism spectrum disorder.

But to society i have contributed and was loved.
I gave love.
I cherished the times i spent with the depressed elderly trying to give reassurance and calm.
I cherished the times i found one single elderly man or woman so low that it was hard to wreck a smile from the wrinkled faces.  when i could bring them their confidence and committement back to life and the smile of agreement to this face i too joined and cherished the woman or man who turned even if briefly and felt part of the world and society.

remember, the smile of the elderly is what is received when they themselves believe in who they are.
too many now in the nursing homes of Ireland know they are there to die and to prolong a 'living' which they do accept.
ALL WANT TO BE WITH THEIR FAMILIES, NOT SHUNTED AWAY IN SOME DYING AND KILLING FIELDS OF NURSING HOMES.

i am edging and creeping to old age and the people who do not allow me to do this with grace and acceptance are the HSE AND LOCAL HEALTH SERVICES - in total.

to DENY me a good end is to allow torture to prevail in the lack of care and a disgust of who i am and what i stand for.

to FIGHT WITH ME OVER MY RIGHTS TO CHOSE, MY RIGHT TO GOOD HEALTH CARE AND THE WAY I WISH TO END MY DAYS, IS TANDAMOUNT TO TORTURE.

you have to feel accepted, you must be treasured as an individual who has contributed to society and who does deserve to end a dreadful existance in a country which never had much in the way of modernity.
In my lifetime.

what i faced for decades, discrimination, stigma and shunting away in some back hole of nowhere for the convenience of care services, middle class strata of society and also psychiatry was torture.
I received torture through psychiatry and then given an apology.
i received torture when i was badly rehoused between alcoholics and gun slinging children.
I have been deprived of the county of my birth as i fled to safety.
we are yes, talking about IRELAND, this country that is such a shining example of a nations willingness to 'face it on the chin, our debt crisis'

Many do not understand what it actually does on the ground to disabled people and the sick and ill.
we are in a dangerous health system now so depleted that the health service is, it is not providing quality care for all.

I am sickened by what Ireland does to us.
those of us who are cast aside so rudely, so nastily and so unkindly.
we are a nation who choses badly.
we chose to denigrate all those who have tried hard, and who through no fault of their own, end on the wrong side of health law.

I AM NOT TO BLAME FOR THE ILLS OF THE HEALTH SERVICE - DO NOT TAKE IT OUT ON ME, A DISABLED WOMAN WHO WANTS TO DIE IN PEACE.
I AM SITTING DOWN WITH A NEW FRIGHT, BROUGHT ON BY THE HSE AND A SCARE.
THIS IS TORTURE, NOTHING BUT TORTURE.

LET ME LIVE OUT IN PEACE, LOVE ACCEPTANCE AND CARE.
IT ISNT RIGHT TO DO WHAT YOU ARE DOING TO ME.

Irish Disability cuts

I want to understand what is going on here...

present at a pre-budget petition and requests to Kathleen Lynch at the Mansion house last year, she told us, (disabled) that we were in hard times and the following day we heard the unthinkable, Personal Assistance would be axed.

we rose up with the red card.

then came the promise of Enda to a woman with no limbs that under his watch no cuts in disability funds would be made.

he too lied.

he lied to this woman.

further cuts were made and more besides.

these people face us, face to face - hard people with callous minds and ways of delivery.

Kathleen Lynch does not 'agonise'  she wasnt agonising at the mansion house when she knew bloody awful news was going to be delivered to all of us who are disabled, within the next 24hrs.

she looked into space and was there in that place as a public relations officer, to hear us and yet do something different for us.

we again have the same Kathleen Lynch who took a question from the floor from my self and she said to my twin sister that she would help.

she met my twin sister, promised a response to a document my twin presented to her, almost six months later she never even acknowledged the meeting, yet alone deliver a response.

we both ring her secretary who tells us 'no further meeting' would be envisaged.

this is the type of response disabled people are getting.
the gloss facade, the fake.

you also have another sort of evil going on, within the HSE.
i will say the HSE can fund a disabled person a PA and yet say in the same breath that no person was to enter the disabled persons home until this disabled person is medically risk assessed!
yet the hse is actually FUNDING the PA to this disabled woman.
this disabled woman has fought hard and long, over a year to have her name cleared.
in the traversty which is the HSE, they say slanderous things against a sick person and yet fund help for her at the same time.
the former cannot be apologised for, the latter we hope will not be withdrawn.

the sick person is told that if she wants to bring it further, she will have to bring her case to the Ombudsmans office.

the ombudsmans office, wronged her and set four years of hell on earth for her, and it continues.

tell me please, what type of government are the irish people voting for.

the sick person also fears that because she stood up to the HSE over and over, she will in the end die at the hands of the HSE who will do this through neglect and inattention.

the sick person is convinced that she will be let die through non treatment because she is considered a peskie person and also not worthy of life.

she is very very scared and doesnt sleep at night.
The A&E departments are a horrendous fear for her, because she is usually shunted to the corner near the dirty laundry and left.

how can we change this sort and type of living for a disabled and sick person.
its a dreadful way to live.

we, the disabled people also know that this is now becoming common throughout the world.
we also know that pathwaying out exists.
we know that most of the elderly are literally 'put down' and 'put away' by their relatives who couldnt be bothered to care for them.

there is one law that is hopefully still truthful for the sick, elderly and disabled.
 making a "living will' and also making a will.
if everyone rises up and make the will according to concience.
if you are not cared for in this life by relatives, why leave them anything?
and the living W
ill will do its darnest to save you being dumped in one of our dreadful dying houses for the sick and elderly the 'nursing' homes.

if you have money, position and influence, you do not agonise over anything when it comes to health issues.
when you have none of these, there is every reason to fear for your life every time you go to bed.
i wish it were different.
it wont be, in my lifetime

the meaning of 'retirement!'

i dont think its this anyway!
no way retiring, no way sitting chewing the cud.
no way am i having neat little coffee mornings or a chat over a mug of tea.
no way am i watching the youngster run around me as i sit plucking daisies.
Certainly i never thought 'retirement' would be this!
Retiring from what i may ask as it continues the same as it always was.

shrieking through disability issues and them that control 'us.'
Them that does control determines my retirement preoccupations.
it isnt about writing the famous memoir of an 'adventure'
its about living the life of the adventure i rather not live OUT, i could do without.

my dream of such things as retirement was Freedom from strife, ill health, a certain level of contentment and peace.
EASE i think would be the tiny word i would use for the wrinkled prune sitting on the decking wondering about the marvels of the world.

I am at Disease with disease and the state of the nation and them people who control the lives of so many of us who are disabled.

we have one holy mess.
remember too, one little feckin nation at the edge of nowhere isnt setting the agenda against the disabled.
this is a worldwide agenda, the pathwaying out of the unnecessary disabled, the money eaters.
the nuisance and the misfortune of the able bodied to have us in their midst.

we have as a century, set the tone for development of our youth, to that of greedy, selfish little emperors and we have set the tone for development as we progress in science and so keep people alive longer, with better food, understanding and the interventions into preventable disease.

what we cannot do is cure all, so some unpreventable diseased people remain unaccounted for in this sort of spectrum of considered acceptability.
we become the burdens of the unnessary so that the able bodied can get on with their lives unfettered.
but we are chained in bondage to the lack of kindness which gives us no freedom whatsover in movement, thought or effecting change for the good of self or that of others or the nation.

Abled bodied individuals have caused a mighty depression amongst us.
that of fear for our lives, the next time in A&E and of costs of living that to us is the cost of the scratch basics of living.
we are not living because of the squeeze out and abandonment both in terms of ability to do anything as no money to fund activity and the inability to do anything about it all.

we in this little country have such dreadful organisations such as the HSE and its a known fact within disabled circles if a disabled person stands up to the hse our life would be made hell.

I am living proof.
they are making my life hell.
we have an obsurd situation here now where i have managed to save the bath as part of my  need in my home when the hse wanted and demanded i have a wetroom.
i accepted the same grant funding as twin who wasnt required to have this change made.
and so now we are equal in the fact we both have a bath, but now i hear the grant has been reduced!
of course no one told me it was being done, the builder did!
so i await to see if this is actually true.
the hell on earth they have put me through for a year and now they are turning the knife, i win on the bath and they determined that i will be ill at ease as i am diseased and they say how it should be.
well, i guess i may have further to fight this lot.
also to fight a dreadful thing they have said about me yet done the exact opposite to what they recommend.
they can condemn me and yet they do something not recommended.
its just not possible in this instance to do two things at once.
just not at all possible, but defo possible for the hse and the hse will let this be the impasse for that is what they do.
they do not do 'conflict resolution' at all.
they may capitulate but decide to try 'get you after all' in the end./
its like a battle of wits.
i consider them people the nits of society the bugs that bug me and many disabled people giving us an incurable rash so we bleed.
i dont like what the minister for health Dr. Rielly and Kathleen Lynch is doing to the good disabled of my small country.
she said she has been agonising over the goverments decision to slash mobiltiy grants, agonising?
i doubt it.
she will sleep well tonight and be fed well, she also can afford private health insurance and wont end in any agony at all.
Kathleen Lynch, your words could not have been more comical.
we are agonising over what you are dong to our life, all of us who are disabled in ireland are anxiety riddled and petrified for the next cut and the next and the next after that.
can i please please be left in peace away from the hse?
is that possible?
nah.

Being bullied - anti-bullying

isnt it dreadful for a person with a severe disability and who is ill and dying to feel she is being bullied.
Even anihilated by a very new set of health workers in a very new environment for her?
What do people say about bullying?
Does the reams of anti-bullying advise out there in the health service advise literature not apply then to the sick and disabled?

I have just viewed the HSE websites in Ireland.
set up to put down guide lines on bullying in the work place and what you should do if you are being bullied.

What though if you are a victim of bullying BY the  HSE and not only by one HSE but by a collective!

there is not one sycable that gives guidelines for service users who are at the coal face of vulnerability and what they should do if they find themselves having profound statements against their character and personality being made - to which she feels defenseless in clearing her good name?
there is not one statement that bullying against disabled people will not be tolerated, in fact if a person within the hSE feels aggrieved by a disabled woman for being forthright and intelligent in standing up to a member of the HSE then the HSE personnel will work a cartel to protect the common good and common good name of the HSE.
the person with a disability will have rules and regulations made for her, to constrain her, contain her and bar her from access to people she feels might give her a chance.

How can a 60yr old be such a treat that she is allocated a male health worker - now listen to why =- for health and safety reasons of the HSE officials.
to protect them in other words.
this means that a 60yr old is capable of what?
I am in a wheelchair!
i have a muscle wasting disorder.
i raised my voice under distress and exhaustion with a condition called Asperger and yet i am allotted the title of horror by the HSE our wonderful health service executive which is being wound down, thankfully.

credibility of the HSe has been completely and utterly squashed in the face of over four years now of HSE over involvement in my life, which has led me to be in an alien county away from all i know, against the advice of every single consultant i saw who said that i would not deal well with change and to help me stay near all i had known.

they did not.  they failed a sick and disabled woman and now have labelled her, and labelled her with no justification whatsoever.

I want my name cleared, i have done very good work myself for many vulnerable people.
i feel i am being bullied, and as the internet is becoming the vehicle for expression which is at least free, i state i am being bullied by our HSE and no one absolutely no one is standing up to the bullies, well my twin is.
we will not be put upon in this manner.

after a vile meeting with a hse official both my twin and i wanted to emigrate out of ireland we should have done this when we had the chance.

a petty, nasty little country going no where fast which needs to gain knowledge, become modern, behave in a manner that befits modern thinking and stop the attitude and stigma that Ireland is know  for through the magdelene laundries, the clergy abuse of vulnerable woman and the atrocious record we have of dealing with learning disabled, disabled and the elderly.

i state that we have a long way to go and many sectors of irish society need the voice that i hope i will offer for them, on behalf of them.
for being a victim of state, so called care of the sick.
i shall now hope to garnish support and advice from other sources after what transpired today.

who in god's name can live with a label  of libel and slander with no avenues of defense.

i have been hung drawn and quartered by the hse and i am going to fight for my name to be cleared.

I do not know, i do not know, i want to know!

another day of medicine....
.....i want to know firstly, will it be any other way at all, at all?

there was some very good news my friends.  I received the best pair of shoes i have ever had from the one and only HSE in Ireland.
After an Online Journal.ie article, about my disastrous pair i was wearing for years after funding here stopped.

the prompted action as it was bound to.
i got shoes!
my winter shoes have come in spring and i walked the walk in ice and snow, with holes in my shoes, but that too was something i explained to the world.

as a result of withdrawn funding for adequate shoes for deformed feet, the lack thereof saw that my right leg has been irreversibly damaged now and will always cause extreme pain.

this should not have happened.

Today too i received an extraordinary phone call from the HSE telling me that i am being allocated a Male Occupational Therapist, even further away from me than here and to where i can never hope to reach if i need to see him.

But the plot thickens...it is a PRIVATE Occupational Therapist, and i guess i dont pay as i am a public patient so now the HSE is paying for this?
Why?

the plot thickens even further as the local area Home help services is being privatized too and given over to a Private company to run.

this will mean i feel, worse service as it will not be overseen by the state but will have money flung at it and be a 'one man band' and the state will not be responsible if anything goes wrong, the state too will not be in charge and the state will take no part in making sure very vulnerable people are provided good and appropiate care.  Remember Private Companies exist to make MOney  not altruistic or care driven AT ALL>

Like Horse meat, if the Private sector can get away with horse dressed up as Beef, then the hOme help services can be unqualified, unregulated and dressed up as a caring professional service moyah i say to that!

we will be getting HOrse, or donkey and there is a lot of that around these parts!

Let me tell you about an 'incident' not of a curious dog in the night, or is that right?

well, yes, i was curious and broke and knowingly getting even more broke so i took the electric wheelchair into Dublin Fair City on the DART, Dublin Area Rapid Transport system!
off i get at Pearse Station or is that Pearse St?
and tootle along to the tooth fairies at the Dental Hospital, then i nervously and courageously travelled badly to O'Connell Street.
I crossed over cobbles, victorian pavings and concrete block pathways.  the latter being the best i have to say.
we have atrocious roads for anyone with a disability.
At my second destination i had hearing aids fixed (I have between both ears 35% left.) and i trotted with trottle along to the cheap shops of Dublin.  the ones all the good old dubllners have used for generations.
At Guineys i bought three cushion covers and suddenly realised i had a split front tyre to the electric wheelchair.
there is no relationship between the zipped cushion covers and the ripped wheel, believe me.

now i am in trouble.
along came Aisling, from Guineys who helps my limping wheelchair to the back streets and a taxi rank that has no taxi for a disabled woman and a banjaxed electric wheelchair.
that my friends caused a wait of over half an hour and a bill for 50e.
the HSe scoffed at me when i asked for re-embursement, almost sneered.
i was told to bring the thing home.
i did and left it at twins, it was hers and hers was a better one (i now declare it not fit for purpose).
today after getting my disab pension i was driving off, and got a phone call.  i took it stationary at the petrol station.
i was asked to bring the thing back down to the health centre.
remarking that i was now off to the far reaches of the other side of nowhere, a place i get lost in every time, to pick up my special shoes, (see start of blog). i have done this trip at least four times.  to be asked to load a busted electric wheelchair into my van and back down to the health centre was a tad much.
i am dealing with having my house torn apart through an adaptation grant and no one to help me move my belongings out of the firing line of chain saws and dust and muck which i did last night and early this morning.
to be doing all this!
i reminded the lady in question that ....i am supposed to be a very sick woman!
I am !
Oh well, as i said as i began....my life is forever more all about medicine and the Irish Health Service as its being provided during a recession and economic busted wheels going no where fast.

To Know or not to Know - that is the question

this is really really personal......
.........very shortly after years..........we, the twins, that is Awynah and her other, Raging Wheels, will either be told or be given information that could be devastating or revealing...it could pave the way for treatment, cure, care provision and lessen the confusion.
Years of it.
Or.....worse, we will be lift in a holy god of a limbo...we will never know other than surmise that our demise has been due to Congenital Rubella Syndrome.

If this is the case, in holy Ireland, what will become of us?
a very very good question to which there are no answers and this for sure will be devastating, as there is no treatment, no cure, no care providing and it will cause SPIN.

We will not be confused.  We will be annihilated so badly in psyche that we will be confined to the inevitable...we will be...waiting to die, in an uncompromising country taking cues from the NHS to pathway us the HSE way.
It won't be pretty.

My twin the Doctor is now on a plane and will be meeting a great doctor of international repute, namely Professor Michael Hanna of Queens Square London.
both of us have had slivers of body parts peeked at under microscopes, blood drawn and pondered, needles piercing and also circling machine which hum and drum around the cranium as its shot with radium, all for the purpose of finding the Whys.
Why can we not walk.
Why do we have generalised dystonia and why do we have a degenerative process involving the brain?
why does one have crohns disease and sjogrens syndrome and the other cancer, treated, but also raging infections to which no one can determine the cause.
Why do both have a shot thyroid, broken limbs as in wasting muscles and painful joints and bombed with morphine and Lyrica.
Why are we going blind and deafness is worse to such a degree that only a sliver of that is left intact and the rest is on the glass somewhere but not in the inner ear for sure.
we are slowly being taken out and asunder and in the meantime we have the unpredictability of the medical confraternity as it literally 'choses' who to care for, in this modern world of sophistication and all things, 'scientific'
Lets not pretend where the world is heading my friends.
we are heading into a shortened lifespan, years as perceived imbeciles and a blast of youth and young men and women, after that its downhill rapidly so by 50 the path is drawn, you are down it one way or the other.
the family will decide along with the state.
you retire, you hand everything over lock stock and barrel to the next generation, you go halfway housing and pathway outtings.
you are sheltered away in the sheltered accommodation and you are here 'for the best', ask though 'whose best is that!?
yours or mine?
Your son or daughter will quickly determine your fate and there will be no going back, my friend.
The one in charge will be an under 40 who will corral you into which ever way he/she wishes to put you, so that she/he may have that blast that is instant, intense, exciting and absorbing.
then he/she will get something!
the lurgy.
he/she will be like me, frightened, waiting, alone and hopeless.
Feel that loneliness and the fear.
Feel the helplessness in lack of choices, lack of services, and lack of family.
FEEL it now, for if you do FEEL it can you feel it so much that you say, Awnyah, what do you think you are saying?  do you realize that you have told us the next generation that we will be heartless and gutless, and inhumane and selfish to do this to our own?
Yes, Awnyah is saying that far too quickly the choices of the young is to put away the old, to decide on vast and gross ways of elimination as does the state in its lack of now, hippocratic oath.  None have to recite this you know, and so it leaves medicine wide open to abuse.
my dear twin sister, with the wooden spoons and doctorate, already demoralized by an inept health system, and myself, who never had a good image of the health system to start with, waiting and wondering, will health systems rise to the bait and give us a better understanding and a better type of end
No one can actually put off the inevitable, but others do decide, actually, how good the end will be and how it will be spend and where.
it isnt Dr. Raging Wheels nor is it Awnyah, who says this today.