Tuesday, October 22, 2013

How to die well...in Ireland

......Notice.....Notice.....Notice.....after the next five blogs i shall become ......'AnnLive'

this blog will develop from there...please share...
Awnyah will become 'AnnLive'

Now....on more serious matters.

the time ahead is less than the time that has past.
and this is an important message for the young, not so young, the old and the nearly old...and shall i say....the dying.

when you ALL consider this, it doesnt sound too hot a place to be does it?
it is not.  but does it have to be BAD?

Does it have to be TERRRIBLE?
does it have to be 'long drawn out 'tooth-pulling' style?
or can it be amazingly quick but enjoyable?
or can it be long and enjoyable?

what sets it all up to be the former and latter.



the day i truly captured the feeling of kindred spirit in loneliness and isolation also entrapment against our will.

As humans, we are intrinsically, a pack animal.
we are a species that survives simply by being in groups and surviving the ups and downs, in groups.

We cannot solve any problem alone.
we cannot survive on our own.

to die well...and we will all have to die...many feel that they are very cynical and begin to hate living, hate life and the people in their lives, for the hurt and pain built up over decades.

true, that can be there in spades.
so too, can a society's ethos of care.

whether we can do this well, together.
society, including the care services, and wait for this biggie 'FAMILY'

we absolutely need both the social services, the care, the human professional touch and we need family who draw on their love, resourcefulness and togetherness in times of need.
but also family do one other thing.
they add the comfort element in our lives.

we read and we hear of the increasingly lonely in society.
we abandon the elderly as if they are lepers.
we abandon the disabled as fake, frauds, and wasters and scroungers.

we abandon the sibling, cousin for crossing the line, once too often.
for being different, for not doing what they ask of us.

when we are finished what we have done, is abandon the humans ..they are all then gone and we are alone...for the first time in our lives....we are facing the biggest challenge of our lives...alone.
and before dying what can we do as humans.

this shoe that held a foot of a human - has a history....
the people who have to struggle daily with their 'histories' and 'past' and alienation.
the only way we can sort of make sense of any of this is to go out and resolve the issues amongst those that are still alive....before it is too late.

then we find that their is a comfort there to be found in the crevices of hurt and pain.

because there is a big understanding that wasnt there before, but is now.

why challenge anyone more than they have to be?
why add to the challenge of dying by adding abuse, carelessness, noisiness and accusations and also why challenge the joy that may be found in the comfort of family by shutting away, shutting out and walking away from the very ones who need you most?

why not even try to shape up this challenge of dying and dying well...in Ireland?

the family one sunday on the Burma road, minus two siblings and mother
can you draw the family together again...
especially as within the band and strand you now live in no one is under 60!

how do you entice them to see other sides to the picture, reframe and constitute an understanding amongst the living.

so that living well in order to die well means just that.
embracing whats left.
but not to do it all alone and many are and many are doing this more and more.

i said above that we need to draw close because all in our band are over 60yrs.
but in order to draw close you must embrace those whose band age is 6yrs.  and thus we have once again youth and elderly together.
Living well in society is to experience youth and the young and to experience their vibrancy.
nothing rubs off as 'feel good factor' as the vibrancy of the young.

the elderly need this.
and so too do the middle age.

Ireland is in a deep depression.
everyone is suffering really badly.

it isnt a time for attack on anyone now.
its time to band together in a bandage.
we need to tape old wounds up.
and live through this well and reasonably happy and comfortably.

this isnt a state of affairs that requires even a copper.
it requires LOVE, or Luv in spades.

whatever way you chose to demonstrate it.

across the way from me is a 87yr old lady and opposite is her boy friend who is 92 and both are single and living alone.
all they have for the comfort in their end days is the telly.
and the phone (they chose to cut that sort of extra funding there for the contact)

they are so lonely.
if you do not know this, go tap on their door and say hello.
instant welcome and starving for the contact.

families live here too and are all around.
but each lives within their own house and in this part down here, people dont mix that well.
there is a reserve.

a lonely bench at Our Lady's Hospice Harold's Cross
but families too may be feeling lonely.

and we are lonely when one thing is absent.
Love, or Luv.
when that is there so is lonliness.
nothing can take that away.
all work.
some play.

cannot take away lonliness.

only one thing can.



I am dying.
before you i am dying.
you may not even know it.
or believe it.
but tis true.

the time i have could be cut tomorrow.
as the good god almighty decides, it is now going to be either quick or slow, but thats silly to even say that.
one way i will be gone soon.
the other way my dying will be a disintegrating slowly, burning down like a flickering candle flame.

Do not say such stupid things as:
Do not say that, you look so well, how on earth can you be thinking of dying.
- i can, because i am!

do not say such stupid things as:
Oh god, she is once in a wheelchair and then walking, she is far less disabled then she makes out to be.

this is such a daft bloody thing to say...
how do you know?
do you know me?
have you had an indepth conversation with me to determine this?
unless you have then shut trap because it ain't so.

there are far more disabilities out there then one which requires the wheelchair.

now your homework for the week or days before we meet again, if ever is this.
google now...'what famous person is living with crohns disease'
also google...'what famous person is living with sjogrens syndrome'
and what famous person is living with fibromyalgia, parkinsonsism (also some with parkinson's disease), also generalised dystonia, and also muscular dystrophy and myopathy.
find out what famous person finds acquired deafness to be like.
and also Dame Judi Dench on her thoughts about having macular degeneration.

why do i give you this homework....because i have all of these in one bundle!!! thats why.

if you can relate to a famous person and what they say about any of these diseases then maybe you can start to relate to your sister and i am the sister.
not only am i a sibling within a family.
i write this blog for all who tap in here.
to make a bit of a difference so some may see that they too are not that alone for there is a person like me out there, maybe that gives some small comfort.
that struggle isnt uniquely your own.  its universal.

it may not be starvation, or war but outside these calamities within communities there are major pockets of misery, pain, lonliness and isolation.
being outside starvation and war, there is the possibility for change for the resources are less thrreatening.
Love and Luv being one.
togetherness being another.
family being another

not...to die alone in ireland...but to live well until then, and then die with Love. Luv.

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