Friday, November 12, 2010

End of Life Years

One has to be VERY realistic what you can and cannot do in a situation where there is no way out, or even around.  That is getting older...and sicker...and possibly more disabled....this is a personal review, but i feel worth it for general pilates/meditaton/tai chi 'think'

I can see, i can hear, its crisp out there, cold out there.  the wind has flattened some parts of my garden, parts are still standing.
a few plants are not their best and others are holding their own and the rest are...dead....or dying.

the dunnock will be the first on the bird table ah..I have just looked out!  yep there he is, he is a cute guy.  then will come the house sparrows, they flock down protection in numbers, amidst that the few pigeons still holding up, (on the roof) will try and disrupt and even destroy their brothers.

And also from my winder the laughing buddha on his plinth is doing just that, laughing, he laughs a lot in fact all the time....he cannot do anything else.
we, or rather I have a second Buddha, he, and this one actually is a 'she' to me, even if flat chested and half bare up top, is doing the meditative bit, the other day i found a white feather in her cupped hands, it had a grey tip, yeh, pigeon, nonetheless most of it was white.

right i think you get my drift...
tis life and we are at the end of the seasons of productivity until it busts again in warmer and welcoming weathers.
So too, my productivity is winding down, and all must rest to be ready, for the warmer times, and cheerier times.
Winding down also requires Peace, peace in your brain, your body, your breathing.
Winding down requires good food in your mouth, it is THE ONLY positive action you can take for a winding down body, plus exercise.
Winding down means 'setting down' and that means for me, the telling of what it was, and always has been and presently is....a flushing out and away for posterity how ones life panned to this point, the winding down point.
Sure for some, its a cleansing and a learning experience and worth the effort.
Its a re-evaluation of the times past.  'Was i wrong about that?"  "Are you sure with your feelings on all of this period?" and so on.

Most of all, it is how you experienced your existence and what you felt about being alive, half dead, or dying...most of all, was it useful, purposeful, fulfilling and most importantly, was it enjoyable. How many people did you actually HELP on their life's path?
It seems heavy stuff...for me i hope not for i want still to learn (oh, the 'Birds' is being re-enacted in the yard, the house sparrows have arrived)! I deviate, i need to learn how i am going to make it a creative and artful experience.  Tie in all the bits methaphorically too, with new methods.  I will have video, audio, collage, animation, word and digital art and photography.
it wont, i promise myself turn out a mismush of too many forces jarring.  And that is where the learning is.
Also for my body and soul i need Peace, the one with the feather peace.  The body that can still pluck the weeds away from the flowers, to create, (yes again, living is about creativity) beauty and a haven for myself a person with blood in my veins, and a haven for the peaceful, from the slow, snails, worms and slugs. to the flying, myself, the birds and all things good, (I include myself here). I too, want the elderly in their 'dying cages' to see, as i sincerely believe, you are a person with needs until you cast off the moral coil.  i want peace and happiness for them and my twin....I actually think most else can sort that part for themselves, its sort of also a personal right and responsibility.
Once a person gets to at least 50 or 55 they want to let go of the angst and pain, and want more slowness and more peace.
No one needs vicious anger, angry words, threat to mind and body from other humans.
No one would wish it for others either, but many do get this sort of distress in all its forms, daily.
and some get it not only daily but even by the nature of waking up are faced with it in body, soul and mind.
When you just have had enough of your human neighbour, here not only in real terms on the side by side neighbours, but people and you have learnt, yeh, i dont think i like em much.
you have choices....well you are led to believe you depends on money alot, not so much on desire or the dependency on your family, those who should join in to see that you are safe, well and happy.
YOu need to make peace, Make Peace for the peaceful, yourself to regain true sense of value, and for all you can help do the same, your good good twin.  the birds, you also have a responsibility to care for the life's companions and in my case its two wee chihuahuas (right the heavies have decended, umm, more than usual actually, there are a lot of sitting on the peaceful buddhas head! yeh, knew that white feather with a grey tip was surely a pigeons)

now the musing and prosaic, the kind of 'i tried to be philo and pro about the musings must have her cornflakes and banana (for the potassium)!
when you say it like that, thats the basics.

the other one is hope .... for and in the near future....just 'leave me alone, please, peace."
have a good day, twino down under, have a very good day.

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