Thursday, January 5, 2012

We get Dawn's We get freedom, we get Sunsets!

True!  All Three.  Beautiful.
never pin a wild woman down!  Never box a Free spirit into a hole.
Never fight with a fighter especially a spirited one!
I say so, and definitely so.

So i am out...finally away from a lot of difficulties in my social housing unit.
I spirited my belongings, many my life's carefully written and painted belongings and many heavy and weighty ones as well.  Down that there avenue with my wheelchair as a barrow, up and down, up and down and down and up again.  my poor old people chariot is looking very very ricksaw like, and rickety.
the bolts and nuts will have to be re-bolted and nutted!
people did help but not often, the ones that did where not family but i call my little helpers as in personal assistants.  one helped more than another but they all did a fair bit in the short time they had.
and they helped gladly.
my twin of course helped with her wheelchair taking up the rear on the trawl down that avenue, the one i hated so much but also the one i decorated and loved so much as edged in pinks and whites and pale blues and snappy dragons too. all cuttings taken and seeds too, for the next two years.
the sadness was most for what i was living behind of real value, the friendships with the wee children, who grew to love my chihauhaus and gained my trust, i also loved the birds, which were drawn to what i provided, the seeds and in the summer the muck and moss and the water bath.  i had two nests from robin and blackbird.
i loved it there when my small yard was tropical in a temperate climate, lush my plants grew in a sort of protected ecosystem that oozed shelter, warmth and also held moisture for there was little drainage so during the growing period, plants grew.
i missed the swinging sparrows and the dive bombing of tiny coal tits and their quick retreat to safety. i miss the chirping on the high branches.

what i have not missed at all, is the drinking and the result of drinking.  wailing male banshees.
verbal male drunks.
threatening male drunks and broken items, thrown items of eggs and hurley balls and even being shot at by the child on the wall.
i am out, no more bringing a hammer to bed, but peace.
here on top of this mountain i see the most glorious dawn, i never thought this was possible, for i had not seen such til today and yesterday and the past month.  How can one reach 60 without seeing the sun rise over the sea and produce such grandeur?  How can one watch enthralled, or snap enthralled as you run out at dawn to capture it with the camera, dressed like an oddity, in spotty jammy bottoms, followed by african dress and finally followed by the good old Dunnes Stores woolly dressing gown, woolly hat and mits finish off the nut and sheepskin boots finish off the bolt!
imagine now i drive away from my twins and i come to a hillside strewn with live sheep!  not beer cans and fish heads as i drive away!
Here i do not see threat nor feel threatened.
Here i see beauty and hear peace.

i have discovered lovely neighbours for my twin and a new beautiful neighbour who i shall have shortly, if she stops falling onto the floor and no means of getting up unless helped and no means of that unless an older geezer than herself can get her up.

excitement in the possibilities of my new place.

60min makeover programmes watched in glee and wonder as i wonder how it will pan out for the last blast of live, my final attempt to make it happy, healthy and stress and fear free.
in other words, a thank you card to all that is good in life.

1 comment:

Dr Margaret Kennedy said...

love the re-vamp. and hope 2012 brings better things than 2011 did. may others come to realise that being disabled should not mean 'useless', or 'scroungers' or 'stupid' or just accepting the scraps of life rather than full life!