Tuesday, June 21, 2011

A long time and getting longer

the price of a slice of bread is worth more than the slice of humans, as in a 'Human being.'
who can say this in honesty and with full knowledge...i do.
and many will agree so i am not alone.
but when one says that 'Life is a journey' or 'Life is experience' or wisdom is to be learnt from it, to be valued by younger persons. ah, rubbish.
Yes, the journey is singularly one, and your own. the journey is experienced by each person in the main alone.
but that does not mean you have to BE alone.  you do not have to travel unaccompanied.  No one usually does.
Some have parents, some have siblings and others children, husbands and grand children, plus friends and extended families.
when you think of the aloneness of being alone, it is unbearable and its experienced as being 'unbearable.'
to be SICK and alone is the worst nightmare of any human being, ask my twin and i.
as most consider us as conjoined in the first place i am doing the same in this instance.
we as a unit, (within a unit) are totally alone.
we are different, like chalk and cheese, have been apart for 40yrs now and thrown together due to circumstances and being a 'twin' for convenience of others lack of caring.
we do, though, have an intense loyalty to each other, we are not a great help to each other but we do care, we care about each other and make sure we are ok when we lay down the head at night.
we neither would desert each other in time of need, when all else do.
this is by sheer accident at birth.
but now we are ailing before our time and we are alone in it.
many would argue about stuff like money, the meaninfulness of money and account for every brass fathing as if it was meaningful yet discount a person who has similar blood in the veins and a thinking and feeling brain.
Its easy to cast another aside, this is the essence of the teachings in the Bible, the Koran and other.
to LOVE one another.
say that to all who travel in the parallel to my twin and i.
It is easy to find the splinters' in others eyes, without first seeking out the logs in their own.
It is EASY so easy to walk past a relative you have not seen in half a decade without even eye contact, salutation or acknowledgement because in this case, he wishes to, its like 'well dad hated you, i am not that fond of you either, ' but i never did anything to that brat, who equally i can say to the father of that brat.
when one is SICK and is inconsequential to this young trollope, why not just say 'hello' and then pass by?
what is to be gained in such ignorance?
does it prove anything?
will it change things?  it will certainly make a vulnerable person feel a bit better, yes, which is the reason why Man cannot live alone.
so why do we do what we do to people.
if many who read this state the obvious 'well you are a good one to talk,' I AM a good one to talk.
what can a 16yr old do against sexual abuse on her person, what can an eighteen year old who never qualified to go to uni do to a lecturer in a university.  what can a person who hardly earned a crust do to a person who is a millionaire?
and what can a single person do to people who have the support of family, clans, politicians and others.
what IS it about creating a demon out of an inconsequential human being - in the scheme of things?
What IS it about walking the other side of the street cos of this person?
What IS it about not giving this disabled person an end of life joyful experience, of experiencing family, love, kindness and a sense of being worthy of being in the presence of her fellow family and other human beings.
what IS it that can cause the educated to trash and crush, the wealthy to leave another in dire need and frightened.
what is it, so i ask and i have asked over and over.
when you consider many ask me to stop my tirade, and 'she needs to be cared for, she cannot cope.' NOPE tirades probably will never stop now, the hurt is so friggin deep and NOPE SIREE, when 'cared for' means 'put away' its a defo no no no sir ee.
at the swipe, switch and click they would put the offender away out of their hair, out of their face, their eyes, their family, their community, and out with the LIFE so many, ALL want and feel they deserve, which WE do!
we deserve it on the level as much as anyone deserves it.
but that is a level of imperfection and acceptance of the lesser able than yourself.
when imperfection hurts another person  so badly as to destroy spirit and soul, i am so sorry for saying that my level on that one is imperfect.  when many who call themselves 'educated' hurt and crush and maim and abuse anothers spirit and soul then they are in fact more imperfect than the level i find acceptable.
to hurt another human being is a crime against the 'gift of life'
to destroy a soul is against all teachings in all religions of this human world.
to destroy is demeaning and we perceive ourselves the most intelligent on the planet.
when a person hits back in equal force against hurt is not that justified and i am in error here, but i hurt, and i hurt bad.
to put it in context, ALL hurt bad to a certain degree, so why make it harder and more hurtful than can be tolerated, especially a person who has been disadvantaged from the beginning, from the very beginning.
I am no angel, i am not a God, a priest (thank God), i am 'me' and my worst sin of all was to be, ah yikes, born.
as in the song or the moan or the whine, 'why was i born at all'
yep, its the moan, the groan and everyone says this from time to time.
I want to be able to be 'me,' i want to be allowed to be 'me' and i want to be lifted up not beaten down for being 'me'
and i want and i need both my dear, very dear twin and myself, a safe roof over my head and assistence in the last years of my life, we want peace, gentleness, kindness and love.
not to be dismissed as worthless, trouble, shite and 'i wish you were dead' yep said to me by a person who has been just about the most advantaged in a family to a person who has been the most disadvantaged.
if anyone understands why another person wishes someone dead, then do tell me, i do want to know.
i have never wished another person so, does anyone know whats after this?
again, if anyone does, do tell me AND the person who wishes others dead.
its like nuns who want to rid small guests rests of small mammals cos of man's wild imagination, and an end to income, aka the humble bat, the endangered! yep! these nuns are very kind but they are also very endangered too, i have to say