Thursday, October 20, 2011

most things going fluttering mad and being chaotic

Is there a full moon right now?
or is it just in my head, today and yesterday and the day before?
and if there is a full moon, when does the full moon become 'not a full moon,' like how long is the moon full?
my moon is kinda swollen and limp and yet twirling and bright and i want it to shrink, just a bit.
it can shine but not glare, please.

right analogy over.
i am reeling with exhaustion...thats what i meant to say..really...
so i am reeling.
spinning and moonish mad inside with flurry and frenzy and fluttering.
but then so are the birds, hitchcock style.
the days are in it, melting down the days to full moon winter for the birdies, and very soon that will be with unexpected early snows on the hills of donegal, to my utter horror.
the starlings, so, and the house sparrows are beak sharp at attack they are dive bombing the underbellies of all in the way..of the bird feeder, which too is swirling and swinging.
the other feeder placed behind the bamboo, just about is for the little uns, the great tits, which i adore, they whizz in like an oversized bee and have the skill and agility of swallows, its a smash and grab effect and if they linger they ruin everything.
yes, my tit sits briefly on the peg for the claws and he uses that tiny beak to flick aside the unwanted and most of the food seems unwanted, he spits and rakes and scatters, then grabs and flees.
leaving a carpet of dandruff seends all over the floor of my yard, inviting the fat chihuahuas to forage, and yes, she eats seeds, any and all.
and getting fatter.
so the birds are mad at it, building up for the big snow.
i am flurrying around trying to get a home and money and resources and want all before the impending winter but its looking less likely.
in the meantime i am storing up on freebies for the free internet sites.
thus far i have a bundle of floor tiles, wall tiles and fab cobalt tiles.
i have a nice chair, that has a bit of a bounce, very relaxing and not too big.
i have three beautiful 'arts & crafts' dining chairs pulled from a skip or is it dumpster in the USA.
i also have a genuine article of a Directors chair, just like my mama used to have, thats a freebie.
and so the freebs are there to get.
on the grants side i wasnt so lucky and told instantly not even to 'go there.'
that produced a giggle, but no one 'goes there,'
really, for there is no money, you just live in hope there is and then get disappointed and one should start to say, 'gud i am sorry i even asked!'
so we have the house and some chairs to sit on and i do have my bed and some shiny tiles and two chihuahuas and a wicked new neighbour Kathleen, who enjoys clowns as in ornaments etc, loves colours, is a 'silver surfer' for at 88 she uses the computer.
she also uses the sewing machine and does jigsaws.
she loves her garden and the birds.
she wears a hairband, has lost a few front teeth and has a wicked sense of humour, aka the chopping board decorated in abstract images of med capsules, which made me split with laughter.
amongst all the old stuff of her age, you see the modern seeping in, the cup stipey and happy with the polka dot coloured saucers, just snuck in a small cavity cos she says, i love colour.
she is in a new age my dear new neighbour.
as she helped me down a step into her lean to conservatory, with a gap of thirty years!
everyone should adopt a granny, woa very very good for the soul.
for a change i am happy, just happier, more settled in the brain that i will be happy and when i sat in my new home to be, i just knew it.
this is home, i have come home.
and i want there fast.
in my social housing unit last night i heard a very heavy bat in the attic, whether these three housing units are all joined up there with no separation is unknown, and what the strong aggressive geezer was doing up there was anyone's guess.
if he was crawling the cavities for bad motives, he certainly unnerved me and i was unsure of it all.
that sort of thing i will be shut of for an 88 yr old woman with few front teeth will hardly be of evil intent in my attic.
oh gud get me outta here that i know!

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

i have neglected yeti 'blog'

well yes, it feels like the yeti disappeared on me and yet it didn't.
i had known, yes i had indeed.
awnyah had not written up, comments, views, nor had an 'attitude'
so what does one do about all this?
she finds a place in brain and time to have this much loved 'attitude.'
a lot has happened indeed.
two friends have experienced very severe shocks indeed.
life events, trauma as they are known.
just yet my friend, i don't want these for myself but realize that persons' bodies and minds are but frail.
when can i know that one day i shall too receive a severe blow to this body or to this mind?
i will not.
What i do understand right now, increasingly, is how difficult too many people are finding it right now and it is shocking.
the difficult times we face, as i speak for 'little' people are not self-inflicted but sent our way via the greed pole, that my friends are the strong-er, the men, usually, at the top.
they are the ones in charge, or so we the little ones believe.  Well, they tell us they are in charge...yep.
they are in charge of my money, your money, my life and your life.
greedy greedy seedy men and the odd woman thrown in and they have disabled us.
hook line and slinker sinker disabled us all.
we now have this around our bloody little necks until the day we die.
and what a burden.
it will be even more so for further disabled people.
here i speak of Disabled bodies, and the minds.
Lets give a few examples.
on the stats side i can say that ireland now has a mental health budget second to none, its the grand sum of 5% of total when before over ten/fifteen years ago it was 13% with this percentage now we are about the lowest in european spending  to support the mental health  of our nation.
i do not like this.
when we consider mental health so badly, not worthy of input we also engender this attitude on all, that those with mental health difficulties are not worthy of our cash and cash is in short supply.
All will experience a mental health crisis at least ONCE in our lives. what happens then if you need this care?
there is no money.
well, there is so little that what there is is not giving adequate help to our most vulnerable and needy and its perceived as either not a worthy enough cause or a waste of cash that our nation does not have.
Let us think of how little money there is in the pot for health now.  mostly the health of again another tragically dependent and vulnerable group, the disabled man, woman and child in our country.
Our adaption grants have been frozen in some counties.
our 'one pair of shoes' a year has been stopped due to lack of cash, now consider this...we all have to use the feet!
and when the feet are not well, sick and deformed, well what do you expect us to put on them, especially when unwell, sick and unhappy feet need specialised care when chosing and fitting a pair of shoes or boots whatever?
will we go out now in bedroom slippers in the snow?
or freeze the nails off the toes by going without?
hard times indeed.
dark ages times indeed.
Lets see further....a freeze on consultant appointments, second lowest consultant numbers of neurologists in europe.
not enough rheumatologists and indeed not enough of any highly specialized expert in this nation.  Remember, you too will get sick, be of no doubt about that.
young children in need of specialist attention in the classrooms are being denied this because there is not enough money for special needs assistants, well the moeny there is cannot be given over to this spending (why? is it not worthy enough, the next generation of our nation)?
Wheelchairs, disability pensions, personal assistants, home helps all cut back.
Lets put this plainly in common language for all to fully understand.
when my country is in economic crisis, the money to help us try to recover our cred economy is taken from the pockets of the least able to support this.
those at the top, the greasy pole top, the ones who decide who gets strapped, will not strap themselves.
nope, they do that to you and i and leave themselves out of it completely, yet they are complicit in bringing my humble little country to bankruptcy for you and i couldnt not have done that, we had no say and less money!
we have far less say now, because of them shits at the top.
excuse the lingo on this.
when i see suffering mates, i can call those who cause suffering every name in the book because suffering is suffering and there are few words to describe that, other than one - hell.
when people do this to vulnerable others then them people are not worthy for noble words at all.
and that is blunt.
shitzers abound the world right now.
its a worry too for the likes of me and many with disabilities, you do worry.
what will be cut next?
right now we have it up to our ears in worry. able bodied and less able bodied, but at least you can walk on happy feet if you are able.
if you are not, we have pain.
and more and more and more.
now will all the sit-in's around Wall Street and Dame street make a difference?
doubt it.
really doubt it.
this is the stuff of democracy my friend.
and we have now discovered that democracy doesnt really work, its not very democratic, see.
but then neither was communism in any shape or form, so as the night grows longer here in my dribble, scribble, i have not solved the worlds difficulties, have i?
but i am worried.  nonetheless, i am a worried woman and i am stating this in the name of worried women, men and chizlers in my grubby little country.
ah, i didn't name this country grubby!
another commentator has, and i grabbed the grubby about two years ago when said commentator said so!
Very shoddy indeed.
I have had my say - tonight...good night! sleep, if you can