hospital is a chance to catch up on my detection work

yes, alas i am in a hospital bed.

the day i decided to be very brave, that day when i became ill with primary sjogrens syndrome, has long since gone.

my bravery was actually going well indeed.
but things in Ireland do go pear shaped more times than we wish to remember.

there is one here who will never forget.

2008 found me returning from Uk with a diagnosis of Primary Sjogrens syndrome, chronic muscle myopathy and also ataxia and all other sorts of things, some related others not so.

i vowed i would always be cheery.
the smile has been surely wiped.

it isnt easy to be so ill and so disabled in teh Ireland of today.

its been now six years or more since the HSE started to meddle so outrageously in my life.
at some points getting involved, then becoming detached and disappearing, to becoming again engaged and not that functional either, and then distancing and coming back and forth.
a bit like a horrible dance.

I have not learnt the steps.
every time i try to get some answers for this dance new dance members or troupe do seem to be there to take that letter, email etc and 'hand it on to the relevant department'
but the moves are intricate.
no one stays in the same spot.
no one can be found
then some disappear entirely never to appear again

as for policy and proceedures, they are as bountiful as the dancers.
most dont exist or are in the wings ready to become a dance of their own.
most are in troupes in other countries.
that is they belong elsewhere and yet to belong here.
we borrow from everywhere.
we have some rules now based on the same in New South Wales and of course more from Germany and others taken from more exotic places but we do not seem to have a mind of our own.

we will have such a policy but when.
they cannot tell you this.
this is hapening at regular intervals.

another thing i find very strange indeed.

unlike the uk and most other transparent contries.
doctors and health professionals can be found online with the CV and bio's but not so ireland.

we also are not allowed mention specific doctors in any forum, unless of course we say something nice about them.
its been so that people wanting to say a negative thing have had their post removed.
you are not even allowed do comparables of doctors.

so while we borrow or say we are going to impliment some policies around this and that.
data is not allowed become public, eg who is good in the country by way of who by general consensus, is good, that is by public decree is good and professional and who is rubbish.
we cannot even allocate them a star rating as some countries have done.

there is so little we can get to know of professional medical personnel in this country its staggaring.
we then make up our minds by the gambling rule or the tail on the donkey game.
you stick the pin and hope for the best.

if you google anyone and want to find out qualifications or their professional body etc to which they show allegiance you wont find it on line.
you wont find it either in any other type of book, data or other.
thats all secret.
very.
so is whether they good or bad or indifferent.
thats why we have the Neary's practising and no one being allowed call a spade a spade or in this case a bloody big shovel.

because if you mention him before he was struck off, your post was struck off.
so no one was able to hear of your experiences.

you can find a sex offending priest, even one in Africa easier than you can a hse official and their  training credentials.
i did and have!
You can find also the school they are teaching in easier and quicker than you can find a 'policy document' here in ireland.
i have and did!

you can also find him after a lapse of seven or eight years, with no starting point at all.
try as you might, the HSE are an organisation as tight and as secret as the mafia regarding the amount of detail they will permit become public or they will permit you to make public.

and for some odd reason which i am still trying to work out....there are two forums one a medical forum and the other a general one on the net that will wipe off your comment if you make a comment against  a doctor.
so what policy are they tied into.
i didnt know that we cannot make a judgement unless of course is the age old one of suing and counter sueing, for defamation.
I know about that one too.
again in this case too.
there are rules for them and there are rules for us.

they can defame character very easily and it may not be all over the net but it may as well be given that we are talking in the professional fields and its against a client.

they do it flash as lightening and dont seem either to think much of it nor do they seem to have policy documents against such a move.

if there are, then the way they defame you is such that they feel highly justified in doing this.

why, cos the HSE is big and strong and 'if you scratch my back then i will scratch yours.'

it isnt good enough either to say this is the way 'ireland does things' as stated by a politician who shall be unnamed, ha!
i am told its the culture of ireland that its better to be friendly with some one than to make a enemy cos you are fucked then really.

so you do  not speak the truth then.
you just dont.
you have need of an itch scratcher especially as you grow older.

hospitalisations do give you time to consider things and mostly too, how will all be better.

as in treatment.
no i am not talking about treatment of medical conditions.
i am talking about treatment of persons, their person as in respect.
cos there is little of that also around.

defamation is horrible.
if it happens people want to restore ones good name and they will go to great lengths to do so.
but persistant complaintant behaviour' will then be slapped upon you.
it isnt policy yet to say this of you it is in new south wales but not here, but 'we are using it anyway1'
ah go on, do.
so they do.
if its right to do so is anyone's guess.
nothing i have seen in the past six years regarding the hse, training and expertise has been right.
its been decidedly 'off' and 'off' by a long margin.

and off for a very long time.

we have ministers for health and other ministers state that they believe the hse has gone beyond their station and is unfit for purpose.
if you write to these departments complaining about them, you are written to to say its not the job of that department but the local area (wait for it) HSE!
so even if they say the hse is too powerful and not fit for purpose, if you have a really horrible complaint against the hse and write to the minister for health in a plea to try and right something here, your letter, without your permission is forwarded on to the right department or persons, eg straight back to the arms of the people you are complaining about, the bloody hse.

this by the way is all in the name of democracy.
and there isnt anything democratic about it.

from this hospital bed it isn't either.
its delusional