identical twins remember how it is....

again my friends, i was trawling files to extract ten good images for an exhibition as i have been offered 'wall' to exhibit.

but in the course of my jumble which is supposed to be very un-jumbled files according to date/event/ etc et al, i found these images.

they remind me of many things.
but primarily they remind me that although these images were taken at the beginning of our decline we were proactive and loving life and feeling actually that nothing would get in the way, not even disability.

 we remained smiling and strong in a sense.
we were determined, to carry on and to cope.

before my first exit to UK 'Lupus Centre' for evaluation as to what may ail me, Ireland left me for DEAD

the director of operations at 'St. Olaf's' where the Lupus Centre is, shows me around the building where some of the Poirot episodes were made.  No, i didn't feel as good as i looked, but here you see courage.  the people here were amazing.

but then we didn't reckon on powerful forces which would bring us to our knees.
we met the hse.
after many rants, tears more rants and more complaints, begging and more tears we are still effectively embattled with the famous HSE.

it isn't our intention and nor was it ever our intention to land in this position.
that is, be sick or fight with anyone least of all a powerful body like the HSe.

but i think they ought to see us here.
they ought to see how they have brought us so far down in confidence, in self belief and also how dis empowered we feel now after all of this.

there were  very dark days and an enormous amount of physical pain, this no one saw as they didn't wish to see.

it seems strangely odd to remain positive when the situation was grim and the wheelchair off camera in this instance, ready to collapse into.  also odd that myself a sick person still had the will to dress well and try and stay positive when everyone was being so beastly back in Ireland, this taken during another visit to Prof. Graham Hughes of the Lupus Centre London UK

i wish to remind the HSE there should be a LIFE going on despite the HSE, there should be a parallel where we can actually enjoy, contribute and have some peace and joy.
what has happened the latter has been swallowed by the former right now.

i intended to create work and to do the best i could given my situation.  London again after another trip to 'the Lupus Centre' when Ireland left me for dead! 

but ialso wish to tell all, its not my intention to stay in such a hopeless situation, but also i hope for justice after all that has happened.
to take life is a crime.
to take a living person and subject her/them to misery is also the taking of a life.
denying them a right to a life is a crime.
to deny my twin sister who has done so much is a crime.

we were fighting to enjoy despite everything as my first ever hotel stay in 2008 found me too unwell to get to the hotel restaurant and i had to deal with a child's portion of chips and a burger.

christmas, same hotel, same year same health issues.

margaret and i enjoyed looking well, making the effort and attempting to enjoy christmas together although inside we may have been dying of the despair of hopelessness.

even a wish with santa at the hotel that margaret and i would see 'justice' from the Irish medical services, but we had many journeys costing a fortune to get to UK and to lead us where we are today...mito disease.  at least suspected mito disease.  VERY RARE.

we overcome so much including myself overcoming adversery but then to deny me my own personal life is also heinious after the flipping awful work i attempted to join the world after a prison of sorts in the mental health system.
ry severe deafness to become very ill and basically butchered down by the HSe.
i want to reassure you the phoenix will rise again.

i am being injected with radio-active material, this should make my brain and basel ganglia glow to determine if i have parkinsons disease.

why put me through this and have the neurologists say 'you do not have parkinsons disease you just want it'?  why over rule the specialists who read these dat scans?  why did the consultants put me through this TWICE and say the same, when each test cost the tax payer 3,000e each.

i didnt know this image was being taken, by a friend.  I have yes, generalised dystonia.

i wanted to be an Artist, i attempted to be an Artist, exhibition in Dublin Ireland

i wanted to look well, even if dying inside.

my twin too, had a life before she was butchered and slayed by the HSE

my twin sister, Dr. Margaret Kennedy had a vocation that no one should face sexual abuse by clergy, when sick she has remained floundering in a mess which is her care team and the care package she deserves after a lifetime of social care service