awnyah todaysay: HSE, arts award & photography

THE ONLY THING YOU CAN REALLY DO - IS -
'PRAY FOR IRELAND'

I am 63yrs of age, i am loaded down with the cares of my life, my disabilities in a tiny country.

WHEN RIGHTS ARE NOT UPHELD IN OUR STATE

ITS NEVER PRETTY TO LAY YOUR COUNTRY BARE IN ANOTHER JURISDICTION - ITS NOT WHAT I EVER THOUGHT I WOULD BE DOING

SUCH AN EARLY START - TO DUBLIN TO HEAR WHAT GENEVA HAD TO SAY ON IRISH HUMAN RIGHTS. WE HAVE TO KNOW...I HAD NO WHERE TO PUT MY HEAD, I FELT GREY

all here who are sick feel utterly abandoned.
this i am well aware of, i have enough telling me their stories to know something is very wrong here.
it just seems to take on a life of its own.
torture would be the word i would use.
just torture.
yet another story from Sligo of a woman speaking of how she feels so broken trying to get help for her disabled young boy. left by all as useless, worthless, blind and unable to go to school or out of a wheelchair, the lady is a strong individual who felt all so differently.
today the child is walking with the help of neurosurgery in the USA.
today the child can see, thanks again to surgery
today the child is not intellectually disabled, but normal. in all things normal as opposed to be so poorly disabled worst case scenerio was laid down for the parents.
not so, but in Ireland so little is being done now, they will say there is nothing that can be done.

OUR RECORD ON HOW WE THREAT THOSE WITH DISABILITIES, HAS TO BE THE WORST IN THE EUROPEAN UNION

NOWHERE TO PUT YOUR HEAD, THE WHEELCHAIRS ARE INSUFFICIENT FOR OUR TYPE OF DISABILITY.

the HSE is able to provide a stand up frame, which the Dad welded and painted, but not a walking trainer, as the child needs.
the boy has got his new school clothes and lunch box but cannot get to school now as he would need two care assistents there and the HSE say they cannot provide.
the child cannot be with his peers to learn his letters, math and to socialise.
he needs a 'child protection' adult as second carer for toileting.
how on earth did we manage before child protection came in?
certainly i didnt and i was abused without any one bothering at all.

although its not so bad that i wasnted to be die as the young lady in Holland (i disapprove of her being put to sleep like a dog, because of her personal invasion by an abuser). All need help.

but life is changing for everyone.
no one has the time to bother or care, and yet the invasiveness of 'all else' in our lives is evident.
the only way they will not get involved is in a positive manner.

but they will get involved.
kill you and persuade you you are fecking useless.
they will ban you from school for protection, but fail to see a triving child is one who meets his own kind and lives in life not shut away protected from all harm.

they will interfere in your home as they did to me, stating that I MUST do such and such to it, in order to receive state aid, this isnt true actually. we are all disabled, but as with the state it gets too involved in lives.

all states around the world seem to think that to interfer in a person's life is always for the good of that person.
it usually turns out to be for the very worst.

i can clearly state here, the day i met the HSE , that is our healthcare system, is the day i personally died.
in so many ways i died.
my life wasnt my own.
i couldnt make decisions, couldnt hold my head up high, be proud of my achievements, be responsible for my own first home and be responsible for deciding how i should live out the rest of my days.
there seems always another who tells me that i have to do it 'just so.'

but if you are healthy, this isnt the case.
its actually against the law to interfere in peoples affairs, if you do not want them in your life.

but if you are sick, disabled, vulnerable, they can walk all over you.

the worst about this being, there is no redress in ireland.
the state has scuppered your chances of finding the justice you deserve.
the Human Rights Commission has been reduced funding by 35% since it was initiated two years ago, and in Geneva last week every state in the world congratulated Ireland for setting this up!

what do they know then?
do they know it contains so few resources it can hardly take a human rights case for the people of this state.
there is no pro bono arrangements for the poor, so they will never see justice.
there is no healthcare systems either.
they trash you in the hospitals and dump you in the street. literally. if you can afford to pay, you get to stay for the tests you need.
if they do not like you they write you off and today i heard i have been sacked by my neurologist!
yep, he is gone, or at least he tells me not in so many words.
i informed him i didnt want him writing to my GP. he can write things that i do not find appropiate on my files, but what does he do, he writes to her against my wishes.
i object to this.
the fact that when i give permission, i give permission. other than that, he didnt get my permission to write to her, but he did it anyway.

how is this country working.
well you can applaud us for the scenery because its fantastic.
all the rest you can forget about.
we are corrupt to the eyeballs.

i tried to carry on and have been doing a bit of photography and also applied for an Arts council award to make a film.
a mentoring award to keep me sane and productive in something wholesome that isnt health related or HSE related.

to destroy my soul, the essence of who i was and once thought of myself is evil.
they have to know this.
they have to understand that killing a person slowly by torture is wrong, anywhere in the world it is deemed wrong, this subtle type, the ones where they write stuff on files, interlink and groupthink about your personality, character and you have no recourse to stop it, is torture.
to deny you healthcare is wrong, if they do not like you in ireland that is what they do.

they simply do what the neurologist does, write against your wishes and state that 'the relationship has floundered' well it certainly has when he has done nothing to advance the care i so badly need, how long do you have to put up with going to a consultant every six months year after year and nothing happening.
how long can anyone take that?
i can't and i lost the rag with him, because i tell him as it is, he doesnt like it.
but he can get rid of me just like that.
and we have so few neurologists in ireland that there are more in outer mongolia than here.
so i am chucked now without a neurologist in sight, without a specialist nurse for a rare disease, without anything in fact.
i am sick to the back teeth of bloody ireland, the land of saints and scholars, celebrating the centenary of our liberty.
we are not liberated but trapped in a vice of the evilness of our own to our own, not imperialists british anymore, our very own doing this to our own small population.
elder abuse in nursing homes has risen by 30 %. the trolley crisis in A'E (ED) is worsening by the day. the care is dangerous and stated so by the medical council of ireland.

MARGARET LISTENS TO EACH COUNTRY CHASTISE IRELAND ON ITS HUMAN RIGHTS - TO BE HONEST, I THINK RIGHTLY SO.

so what if the weather is shit and the country side is beautiful.
i am not saying in my blog anymore i am proud of ireland i am ashamed.
also ashamed of the EU which has let us down so badly that we find ourselves in debt and chucking our own onto the streets every day of week, we did not gamble the banks finances, they did that all by themselves.
the people in ireland did not know what was happening.
when the state tells us to put up, shut up about austerity that we did this to ourselves and have to pay our debts.
no we did not!
we were led up a large, windy path by the government and the bankers of the day, telling us how brilliant we were the richest country in the EU, celtic tiger my arse.
they were gambling and telling us one thing and knowning another, we were drowning in the shit done by the banks, against its own people, its called gambling with lives, all lives in ireland

my life included.
there are more people on the streets homeless since the foundation of the state.
more children going to school hungry
we are the last to sign the human rights convention on the rights of people with disabilities.
we are up to our ears in debt in our health service and the new government minister has said he wants free care for all under 18 and improve the food in the hospitals.
yet, we cannot attract doctors, nurses or specialists, our A'e are dangerous and most of the care is inadequate, most of our best brains have left, leaving us with those who want to stay close to their families and muddle along for a fair enough wage but they are not the cream of the crop, we dont have a crop anymore.
the dirth of specialists is dwindling daily as emigration to top centres continues apace.
so you would be afraid to be in ireland, the land of the saints and scholars.

we are the land Europe forgot, but not forgot to take our money we badly need, we are feeding a bank!
not our own children, not our own people.
we are paying a debt we didnt create as we didnt know what the banks were doing behind our backs.
we didnt bring this upon ourselves, most were sold porkies and wanted the best for ourselves, our own lives, we leave the high finance to those we entrusted to do that job.
so we didnt get invovled in high stakes gambling but it isnt them that are in jail, its those who do not pay their tv liscence in the prisons, no banker has been jailed for the ruination of this state.

and we are ruined now well past the time i part this world.
there is a great evil being done to our country right now.
from within and from the EU.
i hope with all my soul that the UK exit the Eurozone, i think its the only thing to do, break the conglomerate up and start afresh.
i want that.