Monday, November 5, 2012

being autistic is no crime

the day i realised i was people give me every waking hour i couldnt take it. weeping i wrapped up well and stepped into the garden...i went over to the swingseat, darkness all around, frosty air, stars and stars and stars...where did i go to? I went to a place of utter peace inside...everything was as it should be, the air whisked by, there were twinkles and dreamy all around, no sound bar hush and breeze, no real light of day, no sound of barking dogs or knowledge of a human within sight...i found who i am and always was...not for here amongst the humans, but amongst that of wonder...yesterday a long time friend, my only one really announced to me that she never knew anyone who had such a lust for life and seeing the best in just about everything, despite obvious hardship. i answered 'i love life' but i say here, i do not love human beings, especially those that are around me.
I adore the chihauhaus and the out of doors, these all are living, and its a part of that i belong to...not humans...i suddenly at 59 knew and felt the autistic i have been finally diagnosed with.

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