the meaning of 'retirement!'

i dont think its this anyway!
no way retiring, no way sitting chewing the cud.
no way am i having neat little coffee mornings or a chat over a mug of tea.
no way am i watching the youngster run around me as i sit plucking daisies.
Certainly i never thought 'retirement' would be this!
Retiring from what i may ask as it continues the same as it always was.

shrieking through disability issues and them that control 'us.'
Them that does control determines my retirement preoccupations.
it isnt about writing the famous memoir of an 'adventure'
its about living the life of the adventure i rather not live OUT, i could do without.

my dream of such things as retirement was Freedom from strife, ill health, a certain level of contentment and peace.
EASE i think would be the tiny word i would use for the wrinkled prune sitting on the decking wondering about the marvels of the world.

I am at Disease with disease and the state of the nation and them people who control the lives of so many of us who are disabled.

we have one holy mess.
remember too, one little feckin nation at the edge of nowhere isnt setting the agenda against the disabled.
this is a worldwide agenda, the pathwaying out of the unnecessary disabled, the money eaters.
the nuisance and the misfortune of the able bodied to have us in their midst.

we have as a century, set the tone for development of our youth, to that of greedy, selfish little emperors and we have set the tone for development as we progress in science and so keep people alive longer, with better food, understanding and the interventions into preventable disease.

what we cannot do is cure all, so some unpreventable diseased people remain unaccounted for in this sort of spectrum of considered acceptability.
we become the burdens of the unnessary so that the able bodied can get on with their lives unfettered.
but we are chained in bondage to the lack of kindness which gives us no freedom whatsover in movement, thought or effecting change for the good of self or that of others or the nation.

Abled bodied individuals have caused a mighty depression amongst us.
that of fear for our lives, the next time in A&E and of costs of living that to us is the cost of the scratch basics of living.
we are not living because of the squeeze out and abandonment both in terms of ability to do anything as no money to fund activity and the inability to do anything about it all.

we in this little country have such dreadful organisations such as the HSE and its a known fact within disabled circles if a disabled person stands up to the hse our life would be made hell.

I am living proof.
they are making my life hell.
we have an obsurd situation here now where i have managed to save the bath as part of my  need in my home when the hse wanted and demanded i have a wetroom.
i accepted the same grant funding as twin who wasnt required to have this change made.
and so now we are equal in the fact we both have a bath, but now i hear the grant has been reduced!
of course no one told me it was being done, the builder did!
so i await to see if this is actually true.
the hell on earth they have put me through for a year and now they are turning the knife, i win on the bath and they determined that i will be ill at ease as i am diseased and they say how it should be.
well, i guess i may have further to fight this lot.
also to fight a dreadful thing they have said about me yet done the exact opposite to what they recommend.
they can condemn me and yet they do something not recommended.
its just not possible in this instance to do two things at once.
just not at all possible, but defo possible for the hse and the hse will let this be the impasse for that is what they do.
they do not do 'conflict resolution' at all.
they may capitulate but decide to try 'get you after all' in the end./
its like a battle of wits.
i consider them people the nits of society the bugs that bug me and many disabled people giving us an incurable rash so we bleed.
i dont like what the minister for health Dr. Rielly and Kathleen Lynch is doing to the good disabled of my small country.
she said she has been agonising over the goverments decision to slash mobiltiy grants, agonising?
i doubt it.
she will sleep well tonight and be fed well, she also can afford private health insurance and wont end in any agony at all.
Kathleen Lynch, your words could not have been more comical.
we are agonising over what you are dong to our life, all of us who are disabled in ireland are anxiety riddled and petrified for the next cut and the next and the next after that.
can i please please be left in peace away from the hse?
is that possible?
nah.