Once we had the church now we have the HSE and they have abuse as their 'culture.' yah

we were sick at this time but -
we had not yet encountered the dreaded HSE!

a few years of HSE and this is what the 'Look' of that result is.

And again - this is 'the Look' after you encounter the HSE

there are lots of questions in my head.

but few answers bar one - its very hard for me to live now.
i mean terribly hard.

its the complex mix i cannot cope with, and i want to get rid of one or two of these.

Pain and Suffering now of a physical kind i think is here for good, i am trying to work on these.
getting care and medical oversight is about the hardest thing i feel i do have to struggle with and doubt it will get any better.

Choices now are out there for the doctors. who  they decide to treat and who not to treat.
i am in the latter catagory as nothing has been treated since i have got back with care plans from the UK and a lot more insight but less from the Irish medics and HSE.

i struggle to be heard.
i struggle to say my truth and be heard on the pain and path i am on.
i struggle.

when people say that there are good people within the HSe, yes of course, like any organisation (i dont know a lot mind you) there are good and bad.

we have a problem in healthcare.
the bad cannot be got rid of and secondly its barely about healthcare anymore.
its more about shifting the responsibilities further onto other groups away from the political arena and the departments that are running our country and our 'medical show.'

how do they shift it all over the place.
try sort a problem in ireland.
pick up a phone and ring the first person you feel may be able to help and the words go like this..."you are on to the wrong department, you need to ring....." and so on so forth...
this can go on forever.
when you get to the right department its like greased balls bouncing.

Doctors too can walk away easily now.
a letter citing 'the relationship has broken down'  can explain nothing but allow him/her move on and you get a reputation, for the doctors, wee gods are never to blame.
but they swiftly shove you off their books, in a country like ireland it doesn't do to ask for care because they then get irate and move you on.

this i think is a direct dictate from the HSE, do not treat your public patients.
so when the HSE say this, the public hospitals are charging everything to the customers it has on vhi where once before they never did.
so the VHI are swamped with claims making premiums rise and less and less taking up private healthcare.
so this is a healthcare system that is narrowing in the middle.
there are the poor at one end of this time piece, they cannot pay and are not getting care.
the very rich are at the other, they get everything and no sweat.

i think the worst thing to befall me in a life of distress predominantly was physical ill health.
you become a beggar.

you lose confidence, spirit, love of life, soul and trust.
you meet abuse, walk outs, blaming and shaming and slamming and more besides.

you fight as if you are on a tv program surviving in some jungle, is it 'get me out of here?'
what is that program.
so when you know you are getting a rolls royce of a wheelchair very shortly is that the result of the achievement of eating the first witchidigrub?
the aboriginal delicacy.

Post 'withchidigrub'  (getting wheelchair battle)

next for the next trick do i have to leap over five cows and then spear it in the neck and drink a gallon of its blood, like in some kinda initiation rite to get something further, shoes?  sticks? physiotherapy or what?

or is it more drastic than that.

YOu only have to need something in ireland for the word coming back to be NO>
NO YOU CAN'T.
NO YOU CANNOT have it.

this doesn't happen the rich.
because money buys the respect a doctor will hand to the patient.
and will get him or her the walking sticks, the nice proper bed and the medication.
in fact if you have money, you will never know how the poor has to try and survive the onslaught.
the myth of the state caring for the poor is just that, a myth.

the rich believe it.
not only that all the minority groups from the black people, the muslims, the Irish, the social welfare recipients, the drug addicts, the mentally ill, the elderly and the disabled are all the cause of the world malaise, (funny how these collectively make up the world almost in total, bar the few who are rich)
and its also strange to say this, but the rich cannot shoot them all!

why because its the poor, the blacks, the irish, the sick, the disabled and the elderly and the mentally ill that give the few professionals around their jobs!
especially in health.
so if you have no sick you will have no nurses or doctors.
if you have no irish or blacks, you will have no cleaners in the hospitals.
if you have no elderly or mentally ill you will have no vast caverns which employ a myriad of people and so all the walls around the world would not be enough to use as firing ranges.

you cannot simply get rid of the minority groups and the disadvantaged.
non possible.
i think you would have an easier job rounding up the rich and shooting them, or at least verbally accosting them with some strong words of truth.

you are making life a misery for everyone bar a few, yourself and why?
greed.
just plain and simple greed.

at 63 so many hoops and witchidigrubs.
so a brand new wheelchair from a broke HSE (despite offering to pay half of the funds) i am left now to fight on for the rest which includes everything else cos i have nothing regarding health care here.
nothing.
so the fight and the list is bloody long.
i am depressed at it all.

my dad wasn't depressed at this age, he was a happy man.
food was on the table, his children around him, his friends up at the golf club and he was not wanting for anything.
no memory of irritant gp's or angry doctors in them days.
the gp came to the house and laughed and bantered and sorted the latest to befall on six children.
and they did so willingly, up them stairs with the little black bag and a cheery smile for a kid in the bed.
i remember one doctor had a little guy, plastic and he would bring it to play with the young uns.
see now if you can balance this man on his feet and lets help him stay upright.
(distraction technique)

if you got a crack on your head it was a great big crepe bandage, no mri or ct scans and no hours in a waiting room of a hospital.
if you got a bloodied knee and a very big gash, no long waits in a'e the gp bandaged you stitched you and sometimes splinted you.

my dad was never in an A'E in his entire life until he was close to his end.
the knocks and biffs of life were dealt with at the GP or GP came to him or again it was in the bathroom cabinet or the cigar box cos the lids of these were used as splints on broken arms.

no antibiotics for the sniffles, no flu jabs, no mri, dat, ct nada.
no anti-inflammatory rubs, lemsips, paracetamol, braces for the wrists, ankles, or knees.

cod liver oil, crepe bandage, sticking plaster, vicks, bed and a hot water bottle.
it was the 'in-house hospital.'
none of our family spent hours in a'e.

what the hell are they there for now?
we had next to no Autism, menieres, autoimmune diseases, a cocktail of mental illnesses, with sub sets of different mental diseases groups and sub divided again.

you got a cut, a scratch, a broken limb or a bump on the head and a bit of blood.

you did have a lot of sexual abuse, magdelan laundaries, mental hospitals and mother and baby homes though.

incest was high, we had more in mental hospitals in ireland in the 50's than the rest of europe combined.
for everything - you were flung in there if you were happy and excitable, enjoyed the men folk, (and thats only if you enjoyed watching them at a cross roads), if you were pretty you were 'in' if you were not the elder male on a farm you were 'in.'
if you had a baby you were 'in' again at the magdalens.
babies were ferretted across to america for vast sums by the church priests and nuns.
to this day you were never allowed know where your family were or who they were.
starvation and beatings were rife.

but what have we in its place.
we dont pick on the pretty and the second eldest male, or the pregnant young ladies. we dont have sex with the little ones (oh we do so we do, still, sorry we do) and the young things, (oh yes we do) but then what do we have for the rest, we decently adopt, and give the child a chance to discover its mother.
we decently do not fling all and sundry into the mental hospitals, but then we indecently keep all the sick out as well.we have suicide rates rocketing.

we dont do much bar drug with every medication known to pharma.
money again, back to the same old thing, the blasted money.

we have drugs for everything, stopping a pregnancy, castrating a man, killing bees, bugs, flu and inflammations, we zap cancer and cause more through radium of mri, scans and ct and more besides.
we dont get a bump on a head we get concussion and delirium requiring a bed and an mri.

we dont get a cut on the knee but need the tetanus and the stitches and the A'e.

we do get 'bump em off.'
i am a 'bump em off' person right now.

i have no home grown remedies, and certainly lemsip and vick is not actually going to do much.
but my mum and dad lived mightly longly.
i will probably pop my clogs far sooner, either the doctors will kill me or the hospitals one or the other something will kill me.

i think the moral at the end of the day is keep the depression cos nothing else is constant, but chuck the doctors or try go outside this country which is abusive.
i guess when they closed certain institutions of abuse, they had to carry on the culture of abuse.
thats what they call whats happening within the HSE.

its a culture of abuse they say, even those who know the HSE, work with the HSE or for the HSE.
it takes a long time to rid a culture of abuse all these people say.

my dead dad died happy (i hope)
my sister wasnt happy (sadly)

Grasping facts - Is there any Magic out there
(eg NO HSE?) or 'Post HSE

i would like to think my retirement resembles the bliss of the two chihuahua pals i have.  alas, it isnt and alas i do not think i will be allowed it.
but then we have to believe in Magic or is it HOPE?
(no HSE need apply?)

so how many cultures are there in ireland.
or is the whole of ireland abusive to such a degree it will take a lot to change ireland.
would giving the whole country back to our once imperial oppressors sort the abusers?

as sure as eggs is eggs, abuse is alive and well and living in medicine rather than religion now in holy greedy ireland.