this is aimed at the Irish Health Service, both the Health Service Executive and Minister James Reilly and Kathleen lynch who has special responsibility for disability services.
in 'Mature Times' yesterday i see Minister Lynch proudly standing beside a beautiful young lady in a wheelchair, claiming that disability doesn't have to impair quality of life.
OUr Minister is telling us this but who has she heard this from?
MOST in the disability field are telling the MInisters of the day that Quality of Life has gone down the tubes in Ireland for the disabled sector of society during our austerity years.
With blanket wiping out of mobility grants and motorized grants, plus major increases in cost for prescriptions and no provision of adaptive aids the health service is causing hell to all with disability.
Our system is not the same as other countries.
Private health care and insurance goes a long way in most countries, if people can afford this.
Here in ireland we pride ourselves in being able to provide for both those in the public health system and the private health system, but it seems glaringly obvious that both are faulty with the departing CEO of HIQUA stating that 'we do not even know how many people we are killing'
This is frightening.
it should be the destabilizing factor for the Irish population.
Surely if nothing else, knowing that a top inspectorate believes we have a dangerous health system, even capable of killing its patients without even knowing how many we do kill is enough to have many screaming to Dail Eireann gates with open mouths crying. Save ourselves from being killed, those of our loved ones and more besides, from the vagaries of the health service provided in Ireland.
We have such criteria for health that is so low at its base that arguing for the scraps from the table seems the way forward, and reducing a client/patient to shreds in the process.
Reducing patients to near nervous breakdowns is counter to good health, and should be seen as such.
it also should be seen as a human rights issue.
we should not be forced to feel near crack-up, like torture, when we beg for services regarding help and appliances in issues of disability. Disability is not bought over a counter from the sweet jars, its sort of crashes to a person, usually giving an awful fright, but when the services to help do even more and give more fright then we are in deep trouble.
we should not be subjected to vitriol for attempting to plea for aid, as in powered wheelchairs, medication, physiotherapy, support and services.
ALL the requirements that patients with disability need are basic for living.
a means to get around - wheelchairs/ adapted vans, motorised grants, etc.
a means to keep the body healthy and well - proper physiotherapy.
means to feel less pain - appliances, splints, special shoes, eating aids and wheelchairs.
we are NOT talking about open heart surgery, the fine hands of the top surgeons.
we are not talking about transplants or brain surgery.
we are talking about hardwear and some physio.
it isn't a lot.
surely to God it isn't?
The Irish health service is non existent.
This is fact.
Known to be fact.
Feels fact.
Is fact.
waiting three years for a proper wheelchair and all along the way mountains of paperwork, even more requests for documentation and more anger, bitterness and bitching takes its toll on the body, the mind and the psyche.
waiting all the while for services that never come.
It's 'on the edge stuff'.
When i see that the difficulty of the European bank crisis has been paid for through the irish tax payer to the tune of 42% then we have to look at our Health Service as being a European one.
the EU effectively took it away and demand more cuts.
This, Minister Reilly says we cannot do and so the Haddington Road agreement will not be able to be adhered to.
We will again have an overrun of our budget, we already do.
Who can stop this farce that is a european construct and an irish population base of only 4million trying to bail out the whole of the european banks and losing not only our soverignty but also our health?
We can stop this tomorrow, i believe.
We can fight back.
We can demand that change should be made.
We have to stop this fiscal drain from our country leaving resources so depleted we cannot sustain the good health of the nation.
we have to stop Europe being so demanding that they are crucifying us.
in turn our own workers on the ground, in the health service and Minister Reilly's office and Kathleen Lynches office, literally 'lynching' us, the sickies and the disabled.
i am angry at the lack of response, the lack of urgency around issues of health in ireland.
i am also angry at many on say the social media ''facebook" creating such anger if health is even mentioned as to slit throats of those who speak of it, or complain about how bad it is, and it is!
The self righteous attitude of Minister Lynch telling us that disability should not impair our quality of life when she has made our lives a virtually misery!
The self righteousness of those on social media, those of family and those well healed telling all who speak of their health issues to 'get a life,' there are far more worse off.
Well when you and they all say 'get a life.'
All with disability are asking for this, 'to have a life' and many did until austerity and we were crucified during this period and its not letting up.
In times past people did care.
I for one do not feel this now nor does my 87yr old neighbour.
No one does care.
This is why the health service is being diluted and services for those with disability also.
You wont be doing anything but complaining and moaning and crying and screaming if you end disabled in this country of ours.
it is not something that you lie down under believe me, when you feel it, you scream.
I scream.
When i see or talk to those at the Care and Mobility show next weekend i will speak plain speak and say how MInister Lynch, MInister James Reilly have both turned away from two sick, very sick individuals and hardly had time to write or help in any shape or form whatsoever.
I will say this.
I will speak of the state of my present powered wheelchair. This was given almost two years ago, it was then ten years old. It lost a wheel this time last year and died last week, only to have an OT ring and ask if she would send a person to repair it - again, when the technicians report was damning saying it wasn't worth doing that, yet the OT saying thats what she wants done! It was already terminally ill when given to me in the first place!
Irish health, service certainly is never with a smile.
AWNYAH TODAYSAY Ann living in the Republic of Ireland and it is not a good thing. We have now ratified the EU convention on the rights of people with disabilities, yet we failed in ratifying the optional protocol, allowing us ability to make complaints to the EU under the convention, with little facility to do so in our own country. We go unheard in every sense of the word. This is unjust and leaves us more vulnerable and open to abuses. We are suffering. I am suffering.
Sunday, June 1, 2014
Sunday, May 18, 2014
Waiting to die in Ireland
today i woke at 5.30am.
Dawn had come, all were asleep except I.
walking in the garden so early, with the help of a stick so i wouldnt fall over with sleepy eyes i was profoundly lost.
Here i was in a creation of mine.
Lovely, in every way.
I had constructed from nothing a beautiful garden adored also by the birds which i love so much.
each nook lovely crafted and planted.
a magical shed at the end for all garden sheds are that, they are imagination givers.
but as i wandered in the silence i noted this.
silence.
i smelt moist air, beautiful air but within and without there was silence.
my heart felt empty and broken up.
i felt a lost soul.
In Ireland, for the past decade things happened way beyond my understanding personally.
In Ireland though severely traumatised by events both social, physical and communal i received no help at all.
We vote soon.
where will i place myself in the context of being Irish.
No one should have been battered by state in such a manner as i have and also my dear twin sister.
No one can say 'we are a modern society' and yet in such leave a sick, a single abused woman between alcoholic men to live out her days with a disability.
but not only this, the social housing unit was so tiny no wheelchair would fit, least of all be opened fully in any room.
to place a single woman alone in an enclave of alcholics was wrong.
but morally wrong to leave her when she was subjected to bullying, harrassment, attack and finally being shot at.
appeals for help from state, government, local government, family and church plus the health service all went unheard.
deafened as i am and for which i fully understand its meaning.
i was left work it all out for myself the best way i could.
when i did, by leaving like a war victim i came to a county where further abuse happened.
this times at the hands of the HSE.
a person buying a first home after years in a social housing unit and a person who becomes excited at doing so, believe peace is nigh should not then be made change the structure of it, design of it to suit the health service executive.
No person who spends over 200,000k for her home should be bullied again to do this.
This is exactly what the HSE made me do or wanted to make me do.
after a bitter and drawn out fight i won, because its illegal, simply that, its illegal so someone saw that it was and removed this demand of the services, which is paid by my govenment and allowed by my government to run ruckshod over sick people.
the HSE didnt like losing this battle and now pitch a vengance on a sicker person, a sadder person and a person who wants only to flee again, away from this county that never welcomed me, where i do feel utterly displaced at the end of my life.
the HSE had the power to offer me psychological support, has the power to offer both my twin and i a social worker to help us cope with trauma, change and severe disability.
they also have the power to give us physiotherapy, specialised shoes and proper powered wheelchairs.
they deny us ALL OF THESE.
when i wonder around my beautiful garden in a county where i know noone, where the chance of this are slim because i am tired, burnt out and feeble, and feel no energy left to start all over again, i think of the local and european elections.
i think of Ireland and its choices after selfish, greedy, government abetted rich people burnt out my country and then sold it to the europeans lock stock and barrel what do i feel being here at this time of fatal destruction of a small country.
i feel Ireland betrayed its own.
it cut out vast swathes of its people to the hope of living even half way decent.
it raised the cap on its own earning and lowered that of more vulnerable people.
in essence, the rich are getting richer and the poor are getting poorer.
also at 61 i fully realise that no one does care anymore.
placing a video experiement gone viral in france of what would the reaction be of a man collapsing in the street be of passers by.
we see the actor dressed as a tramp in one and as a well heeled man in another.
we know what happened.
there was no good samaritan.
for the tramp.
they walked on by, all walked on by.
i put this up on a young persons page on face book, i was immediately rounded upon and unfriended.
he objected by whatever i wished to infer by putting it there.
i didnt wish to infer anything, i asked him as a young person to make a comment thats all.
but what he then chose to do delete it, just abouts makes the comment!
we have a society now that doesnt like such major questions of themselves.
who cut throats if anyone mentions social concience, disability or vulnerabilty online.
you are not to speak of it.
only who can mend a washing machine please or does anyone know of a local plumber.
but talk of bigger issues it isnt allowed for all this is so not nice in a world that has enough misery.
actually by acting on all that is so not nice we create a world less full of misery.
getting back to the Ireland of the day, its citizens power of the vote etc.
what Ireland?
what country?
who am i in all of this?
as a person who lived a full 61yrs of dreadful life from cradle to now, with no assistance at all from anyone when ever i was down on my luck and i was down often, i dont exist.
should i vote then.
why should i when i am so abandoned waiting to die in this god forsaken country and county.
well i will, because i believe in it.
i also believe that if you hate something badly enough you will want to change it.
its a loathesome situation we have here in ireland for the 600,000 people with disabilities.
it isnt for the people who object about being asked to make a comment on a social experiement of tramp v. rich.
its dire here for us.
depression for us is just a waking experience and if in pain you dont get away from it in sleep.
you dont get away from the fact that you know, today and tomorrow not a friend will ask if you ok, not a family member will visit maybe with a cake and not a government department will act decently toward you.
but i vote to make change for others now.
if enough cared it would be a better society.
but we have puffed up penquins around now.
those who are too posh to puch.
those who believe only they themselves count
and those who believe the only thing worth acquiring is money.
the falsies have arrived in full and place them there online as selfies.
i vote for change.
i will vote this blasted crowd that ruined lives OUT.
Dawn had come, all were asleep except I.
walking in the garden so early, with the help of a stick so i wouldnt fall over with sleepy eyes i was profoundly lost.
Here i was in a creation of mine.
Lovely, in every way.
I had constructed from nothing a beautiful garden adored also by the birds which i love so much.
each nook lovely crafted and planted.
a magical shed at the end for all garden sheds are that, they are imagination givers.
but as i wandered in the silence i noted this.
silence.
i smelt moist air, beautiful air but within and without there was silence.
my heart felt empty and broken up.
i felt a lost soul.
In Ireland, for the past decade things happened way beyond my understanding personally.
In Ireland though severely traumatised by events both social, physical and communal i received no help at all.
We vote soon.
where will i place myself in the context of being Irish.
No one should have been battered by state in such a manner as i have and also my dear twin sister.
No one can say 'we are a modern society' and yet in such leave a sick, a single abused woman between alcoholic men to live out her days with a disability.
but not only this, the social housing unit was so tiny no wheelchair would fit, least of all be opened fully in any room.
to place a single woman alone in an enclave of alcholics was wrong.
but morally wrong to leave her when she was subjected to bullying, harrassment, attack and finally being shot at.
appeals for help from state, government, local government, family and church plus the health service all went unheard.
deafened as i am and for which i fully understand its meaning.
i was left work it all out for myself the best way i could.
when i did, by leaving like a war victim i came to a county where further abuse happened.
this times at the hands of the HSE.
a person buying a first home after years in a social housing unit and a person who becomes excited at doing so, believe peace is nigh should not then be made change the structure of it, design of it to suit the health service executive.
No person who spends over 200,000k for her home should be bullied again to do this.
This is exactly what the HSE made me do or wanted to make me do.
after a bitter and drawn out fight i won, because its illegal, simply that, its illegal so someone saw that it was and removed this demand of the services, which is paid by my govenment and allowed by my government to run ruckshod over sick people.
the HSE didnt like losing this battle and now pitch a vengance on a sicker person, a sadder person and a person who wants only to flee again, away from this county that never welcomed me, where i do feel utterly displaced at the end of my life.
the HSE had the power to offer me psychological support, has the power to offer both my twin and i a social worker to help us cope with trauma, change and severe disability.
they also have the power to give us physiotherapy, specialised shoes and proper powered wheelchairs.
they deny us ALL OF THESE.
when i wonder around my beautiful garden in a county where i know noone, where the chance of this are slim because i am tired, burnt out and feeble, and feel no energy left to start all over again, i think of the local and european elections.
i think of Ireland and its choices after selfish, greedy, government abetted rich people burnt out my country and then sold it to the europeans lock stock and barrel what do i feel being here at this time of fatal destruction of a small country.
i feel Ireland betrayed its own.
it cut out vast swathes of its people to the hope of living even half way decent.
it raised the cap on its own earning and lowered that of more vulnerable people.
in essence, the rich are getting richer and the poor are getting poorer.
also at 61 i fully realise that no one does care anymore.
placing a video experiement gone viral in france of what would the reaction be of a man collapsing in the street be of passers by.
we see the actor dressed as a tramp in one and as a well heeled man in another.
we know what happened.
there was no good samaritan.
for the tramp.
they walked on by, all walked on by.
i put this up on a young persons page on face book, i was immediately rounded upon and unfriended.
he objected by whatever i wished to infer by putting it there.
i didnt wish to infer anything, i asked him as a young person to make a comment thats all.
but what he then chose to do delete it, just abouts makes the comment!
we have a society now that doesnt like such major questions of themselves.
who cut throats if anyone mentions social concience, disability or vulnerabilty online.
you are not to speak of it.
only who can mend a washing machine please or does anyone know of a local plumber.
but talk of bigger issues it isnt allowed for all this is so not nice in a world that has enough misery.
actually by acting on all that is so not nice we create a world less full of misery.
getting back to the Ireland of the day, its citizens power of the vote etc.
what Ireland?
what country?
who am i in all of this?
as a person who lived a full 61yrs of dreadful life from cradle to now, with no assistance at all from anyone when ever i was down on my luck and i was down often, i dont exist.
should i vote then.
why should i when i am so abandoned waiting to die in this god forsaken country and county.
well i will, because i believe in it.
i also believe that if you hate something badly enough you will want to change it.
its a loathesome situation we have here in ireland for the 600,000 people with disabilities.
it isnt for the people who object about being asked to make a comment on a social experiement of tramp v. rich.
its dire here for us.
depression for us is just a waking experience and if in pain you dont get away from it in sleep.
you dont get away from the fact that you know, today and tomorrow not a friend will ask if you ok, not a family member will visit maybe with a cake and not a government department will act decently toward you.
but i vote to make change for others now.
if enough cared it would be a better society.
but we have puffed up penquins around now.
those who are too posh to puch.
those who believe only they themselves count
and those who believe the only thing worth acquiring is money.
the falsies have arrived in full and place them there online as selfies.
i vote for change.
i will vote this blasted crowd that ruined lives OUT.
Saturday, May 17, 2014
we have an election my friends!
We have an election folks.
the Local elections and the vote for our representatives in Europe take place next week.
This time it is important.
As a disabled woman living in Ireland i can say how it feels to be 'under' the cloud of austerity and 'under' this present regime.
To me nothing is clearer....we do not count to the government of the day, even though many have voted them in, voted them their salaries, their pensions and top ups, for LIFE and yet what do they do when in, they decimate the life style, equality and living standards of practically most at the bottom strata of society.
These being, the sick, the disabled, the vulnerable, the elderly and the children,
How do i know this?
Because i fit into many of the above categories here. Disabled in Ireland means i am terrified as each new day passes.
How has it been then for me in the past few years - what have they cut that was vital and what have the cut that was inconsequential.
Of the latter, nothing.
of the former just about everything.
Medication now is almost beyond what i can afford and as i pay, its a huge cut out of a fixed income, an income never likely to rise even if the cost of living everywhere is rising ahead of it.
ceoliac foods have been sliced from the prescription list
mobility, this is the van, this van takes two very sick and weary individuals who use mobility scooters/wheelchairs/rollators or sticks depending how depleted we are on the day.
I used to get the tax back on my petrol. this is no longer so. this was a huge perk because it also made me save this as it came back to me in lump sum, and went towards Insurance of the van or servicing of the van.
Now i hear that the Primary cert for those most effected by ill health will no longer be a qualification to get that TAX and VRT exemption on a van or transport vehicle, this too was enormous and helped get the next when your own clapped out.
presently mine has and the worry has shot through the roof.
Lets stay on mobilisation for the while.
my twin and i have tried in vain to work with the so called Department of Health, namely the HSE.
Health service, operative.
the faceless and nameless admin who have been bullied by central government, aided and abetted by Europe and Angela Merkle to cut their cost and budgets have turned their angst and distress directly back to the customer, the disabled in the community.
we, my twin and i have a very rare condition.
do you think we can have a normalised conversation about mobilising with the HSE?
No we certainly can not.
They have been told to cut their budget, it doesn't then matter a feck if that saving is at the cost of two older women who need powered wheelchairs, for a multi systemic condition and muscle wasting.
it is almost two and a half years or more since i was given a clapped out powered chair which only months later went into a wall opposite the hospital i was trying to get to to see my neurologist.
then after that battle royal with the HSE and bullying to hand back a mobility scooter, because i cannot have both at the same time.
well the clapped out wheelchair had such a dire report of it by technicians just before Christmas i am now left with a lethal machine of 11yrs old which loses body parts regularly and the hse couldn't care a jot if i go into more walls, under cars or tip out of it.
Yet despite a so called moving towards a universal health charge and demanding everyone has an insurance policy i already do!
it isn't fancy and its the last year i will have it, again central government in their brilliant ways have stopped a subvention to the insurance company and almost doubling my insurance payments. so i wont be able to afford it.
yet i do have it presently, i tell the hse this insurance can get me about three quarters of a wheelchair, they would only have to pay a quarter.
this is called effective cost cutting measure especially as its replicated by another saying she will do the same.
in over six months or more we cannot get the hse to discuss this although they say they could but then 'who would own it?' i guess to them they say they do, just like the scooter for which i had paid over 450e to maintain it yet forced to hand back to hse without any reimbursement.
we need the wheelchairs.
no assistance have they offered to date on this.
nothing. zero.
impossible to do business with them.
that my friends is due to austerity, the cuts, what the gov of the day in cahoots with Merkle has done to us here on the ground, very much on the ground.
We will stay on health for a minute.
just in case American people may not understand how the health system works here.
we have a public health system for those who cannot afford health insurance.
but some have both.
for fear mostly because there isn't anything left of a public health system!
as a person who has had significant amount of trauma in past three years i cannot get psychological support, the help of a social worker, physiotherapy nor shoes.
i still have no proper supportive shoes, almost six years, and i have deformed feet.
its not for the faint hearted to beg and battle for all of this.
they begin then to hate you with a passion and withdraw more just for spite.
if you say professionals would never do that, come live in Ireland and see how it works.
a society very much based on 'you scratch my back and i will scratch yours'
i think i have strayed a bit.
ELECTIONS
i cannot keep up with the onslaught of charges, extra taxes and stuff.
water charges for a person with crohns, dystonia and severe pain.
house insurance.
prescription charges
all the help with transport gone.
ditto for the elderly they cannot get to hospital appointments without going on bus, dart and then walking, even if 90yrs old, one gentleman has to do this regularly around these part.s
i cannot keep my body safe or in tone or tune with its decline.
i have no professional physiotherapy,
no shoes and no support.
i am in pain, a lot of it.
Minister for health with his delightful set of measures which Ireland cannot sustain at all is firing on all cylinders to basically bring down the health service.
hospital waiting list rocket.
casualty closes with 90 people one night and no where to treat or put them.
a single relative cannot sit now with a sick person in the A'E room, how ghastly to face terror there alone without one family member by your side. this is obscene.
we have homelessness like never before.
food banks which never existed before.
repossession without almost any way round this other than turf people out of their homes.
children have lost assistance in the classrooms, speech and language therapies, special needs kids go without and its never ending.
we have this German company now asking 'has your child still got Downes Syndrome' or 'has your wife still got Muscular Dystophy; i kid you not.
the country has bottomed out under this government.
nothing left here for anyone and the best are going in droves.
we have done this entirely to ourselves without a squeak from the populace.
Merkle and wrangled her ways into Ireland affairs.
Kenny likes being liked by Merkle.
we cannot stand the sly little divil at all!
nor do i think our minister for health is a beacon shining in the dark, he is positively dangerous for health.
People are feeling the need to slash throats on the Facebook pages saying they are sick of the moaning about disability because we do this, we don't moan, its fact what is happening.
but they are sick of it!
they voted this, they didn't protest and the country as a result is on its knees.
everything that was precious has now been sold to the highest bidder.
china are here, America are here, so too German.
We are everywhere but not here.
Irish people excel everywhere but here!
we are famed the world over for intelligence, innovation, invention and much more and everything goes twinkle green for a day from Dubai to hong Kong.
but Ireland is still in crisis, never got out of crisis since it became independent.
so we have elections.
the MEPs are well, they don't actually work for the people that well.
We STILL have not ratified the convention on human rights for people with disabilities. about the only one not to.
they say they will help you so write to them.
three years on a certain wheelchair user as an MEP hasn't even so much as responded to my correspondence when i beg for help on wheelchairs.
Nessa Childers has asked me recently what is the prob but i told her many months ago but election time now do we get help, i very much doubt it but i am awaiting the surprise that i do.
we have a young lad going up too for the job of MEP, he does seem to be aware of disabled persons plight and is in government but never once voted against the cuts to people with disability, he is riding on the disability ticket.
i am not an idiot and neither is the rest of Ireland.
no amount of sweet talking gets my vote.
they have crucified me, my friends and more besides.
they have ruined a wonderful ethos of care that once was treasured in Ireland by acting way beyond this in a clinical, hatchet fashion of not an ounce of consideration for the least able in society.
you wont be getting my vote.
i want the lot of you OUT.
the Local elections and the vote for our representatives in Europe take place next week.
This time it is important.
As a disabled woman living in Ireland i can say how it feels to be 'under' the cloud of austerity and 'under' this present regime.
To me nothing is clearer....we do not count to the government of the day, even though many have voted them in, voted them their salaries, their pensions and top ups, for LIFE and yet what do they do when in, they decimate the life style, equality and living standards of practically most at the bottom strata of society.
These being, the sick, the disabled, the vulnerable, the elderly and the children,
How do i know this?
Because i fit into many of the above categories here. Disabled in Ireland means i am terrified as each new day passes.
How has it been then for me in the past few years - what have they cut that was vital and what have the cut that was inconsequential.
Of the latter, nothing.
of the former just about everything.
Medication now is almost beyond what i can afford and as i pay, its a huge cut out of a fixed income, an income never likely to rise even if the cost of living everywhere is rising ahead of it.
ceoliac foods have been sliced from the prescription list
mobility, this is the van, this van takes two very sick and weary individuals who use mobility scooters/wheelchairs/rollators or sticks depending how depleted we are on the day.
I used to get the tax back on my petrol. this is no longer so. this was a huge perk because it also made me save this as it came back to me in lump sum, and went towards Insurance of the van or servicing of the van.
Now i hear that the Primary cert for those most effected by ill health will no longer be a qualification to get that TAX and VRT exemption on a van or transport vehicle, this too was enormous and helped get the next when your own clapped out.
presently mine has and the worry has shot through the roof.
Lets stay on mobilisation for the while.
my twin and i have tried in vain to work with the so called Department of Health, namely the HSE.
Health service, operative.
the faceless and nameless admin who have been bullied by central government, aided and abetted by Europe and Angela Merkle to cut their cost and budgets have turned their angst and distress directly back to the customer, the disabled in the community.
we, my twin and i have a very rare condition.
do you think we can have a normalised conversation about mobilising with the HSE?
No we certainly can not.
They have been told to cut their budget, it doesn't then matter a feck if that saving is at the cost of two older women who need powered wheelchairs, for a multi systemic condition and muscle wasting.
it is almost two and a half years or more since i was given a clapped out powered chair which only months later went into a wall opposite the hospital i was trying to get to to see my neurologist.
then after that battle royal with the HSE and bullying to hand back a mobility scooter, because i cannot have both at the same time.
well the clapped out wheelchair had such a dire report of it by technicians just before Christmas i am now left with a lethal machine of 11yrs old which loses body parts regularly and the hse couldn't care a jot if i go into more walls, under cars or tip out of it.
Yet despite a so called moving towards a universal health charge and demanding everyone has an insurance policy i already do!
it isn't fancy and its the last year i will have it, again central government in their brilliant ways have stopped a subvention to the insurance company and almost doubling my insurance payments. so i wont be able to afford it.
yet i do have it presently, i tell the hse this insurance can get me about three quarters of a wheelchair, they would only have to pay a quarter.
this is called effective cost cutting measure especially as its replicated by another saying she will do the same.
in over six months or more we cannot get the hse to discuss this although they say they could but then 'who would own it?' i guess to them they say they do, just like the scooter for which i had paid over 450e to maintain it yet forced to hand back to hse without any reimbursement.
we need the wheelchairs.
no assistance have they offered to date on this.
nothing. zero.
impossible to do business with them.
that my friends is due to austerity, the cuts, what the gov of the day in cahoots with Merkle has done to us here on the ground, very much on the ground.
We will stay on health for a minute.
just in case American people may not understand how the health system works here.
we have a public health system for those who cannot afford health insurance.
but some have both.
for fear mostly because there isn't anything left of a public health system!
as a person who has had significant amount of trauma in past three years i cannot get psychological support, the help of a social worker, physiotherapy nor shoes.
i still have no proper supportive shoes, almost six years, and i have deformed feet.
its not for the faint hearted to beg and battle for all of this.
they begin then to hate you with a passion and withdraw more just for spite.
if you say professionals would never do that, come live in Ireland and see how it works.
a society very much based on 'you scratch my back and i will scratch yours'
i think i have strayed a bit.
ELECTIONS
i cannot keep up with the onslaught of charges, extra taxes and stuff.
water charges for a person with crohns, dystonia and severe pain.
house insurance.
prescription charges
all the help with transport gone.
ditto for the elderly they cannot get to hospital appointments without going on bus, dart and then walking, even if 90yrs old, one gentleman has to do this regularly around these part.s
i cannot keep my body safe or in tone or tune with its decline.
i have no professional physiotherapy,
no shoes and no support.
i am in pain, a lot of it.
Minister for health with his delightful set of measures which Ireland cannot sustain at all is firing on all cylinders to basically bring down the health service.
hospital waiting list rocket.
casualty closes with 90 people one night and no where to treat or put them.
a single relative cannot sit now with a sick person in the A'E room, how ghastly to face terror there alone without one family member by your side. this is obscene.
we have homelessness like never before.
food banks which never existed before.
repossession without almost any way round this other than turf people out of their homes.
children have lost assistance in the classrooms, speech and language therapies, special needs kids go without and its never ending.
we have this German company now asking 'has your child still got Downes Syndrome' or 'has your wife still got Muscular Dystophy; i kid you not.
the country has bottomed out under this government.
nothing left here for anyone and the best are going in droves.
we have done this entirely to ourselves without a squeak from the populace.
Merkle and wrangled her ways into Ireland affairs.
Kenny likes being liked by Merkle.
we cannot stand the sly little divil at all!
nor do i think our minister for health is a beacon shining in the dark, he is positively dangerous for health.
People are feeling the need to slash throats on the Facebook pages saying they are sick of the moaning about disability because we do this, we don't moan, its fact what is happening.
but they are sick of it!
they voted this, they didn't protest and the country as a result is on its knees.
everything that was precious has now been sold to the highest bidder.
china are here, America are here, so too German.
We are everywhere but not here.
Irish people excel everywhere but here!
we are famed the world over for intelligence, innovation, invention and much more and everything goes twinkle green for a day from Dubai to hong Kong.
but Ireland is still in crisis, never got out of crisis since it became independent.
so we have elections.
the MEPs are well, they don't actually work for the people that well.
We STILL have not ratified the convention on human rights for people with disabilities. about the only one not to.
they say they will help you so write to them.
three years on a certain wheelchair user as an MEP hasn't even so much as responded to my correspondence when i beg for help on wheelchairs.
Nessa Childers has asked me recently what is the prob but i told her many months ago but election time now do we get help, i very much doubt it but i am awaiting the surprise that i do.
we have a young lad going up too for the job of MEP, he does seem to be aware of disabled persons plight and is in government but never once voted against the cuts to people with disability, he is riding on the disability ticket.
i am not an idiot and neither is the rest of Ireland.
no amount of sweet talking gets my vote.
they have crucified me, my friends and more besides.
they have ruined a wonderful ethos of care that once was treasured in Ireland by acting way beyond this in a clinical, hatchet fashion of not an ounce of consideration for the least able in society.
you wont be getting my vote.
i want the lot of you OUT.
Wednesday, April 9, 2014
being shot at has destroyed my life
there is no doubt that when you are a victim of crime, as i was you get traumatised.
but this criminal was eleven years of age.
after shooting at me over five times, for thats the amount of pellets i found near my swingseat where i was lying and at very close range, you begin to wonder how such a young kid felt it ok to do this?
deaf and very tired i lay there with my two chihuauhuas, but i also had my camera in my lap and she and her wee boyfriend were tormenting me.
i lifted the camera and shot her shooting me.
this was a housing unit for a disabled single woman, abused twice in life by a priest and another and also been in psychiatry due to that trauma alone.
you can only take so much.
this social housing unit was offered to make my quality of life better and i was persuaded to move by a health official of the HSE, who wasnt even around at the time of the agreed transfer.
no health official available on the day for advice and i set myself in for mighty trouble.i
i didnt want to move EVER and certainly once i agreed i still didnt want to move far from where i had grown up.
where i had spent fourteen years of being a sick adult trying to cope.
against consultants wishes i was outted and badly outted.
then suddenly the HSE decided this was a housing issue not a health issue and closed the case.
so a health issue was a health issue at the start but once housed it ceased to be even though the housing was causing me to vere toward suicidal thoughts and a nervous breakdown.
simply put they got out and off the case for utter convenience and left me to sort the mess myself.
i did with the help of a sister with parkinsons.
we sold one property divided the money and bought two bungalows.
we left the county of my birth, the county i adored.
i quickly landed in further HSE trouble in my new country who then decided that i had to reconfigure my new home i had bought for my disability by having a hole in the ground for a bathroom when i needed a bath to soak dystonic and painful muscles.
they interferred again.
they didnt to the sister because she had once worked and had doctor in front of her name.
believe me we are in an evil society where health officials give sick people no peace whatsoever.
where officialdom refuse point blankly to stand up and be counted but would far rather kill people off than face blame for destroying lives.
i am speaking here strongly against the Irish HSE who did just that.
they killed me off.
they effectively detroyed my life, caused me pain beyond endurance and there is no letting up.
i meet one this friday for a seating assessment for a powered wheelchair, this worker's coworker gave me a wheelchair from hell that lost a wheel and careered into a wall and with me in it.
i fully am aware that daily i get more hits on my blog.
spread the word.
i want the HSE held to account for murder.
this is the truth.
murder.
no it isnt too strong a word.
when you kill a person to the point of just being a carcus that has a bit of blood in it but nothing more then you have destroyed a life, and they have done this period.
I will face the HSE and never ever pander again to their gross behaviours.
i say, get out of my life.
you are here to serve the sick.
you are here to serve ME, and i am not here to be bullied, intimidated and battered in fear, anxiety pain and grief.
you are an evil bunch and i have no difficulty making this statement.
you are evil.
because of you i lost the street i adored, the county i was crazy about and the knowing that people were there i could say hello to but here there is you and there is myself lost in a place i do not know, where i know no one and where i had hoped i would make a fresh start.
again you didnt even allow that happen.
to me, what i think of you i am stating here.
destroyers, evil and unaccountable.
feeling blameless as the type of files they write up amount to slander.
feeling blameless because if they cannot help solve a difficulty they get out of the heat.
feeling blameless because they refuse to acknowledge anything and will to their own dying day try to make others believe that they are lilywhite.
to me, black stone.
do you think i sound angry.
i do.
and am
but this criminal was eleven years of age.
after shooting at me over five times, for thats the amount of pellets i found near my swingseat where i was lying and at very close range, you begin to wonder how such a young kid felt it ok to do this?deaf and very tired i lay there with my two chihuauhuas, but i also had my camera in my lap and she and her wee boyfriend were tormenting me.
i lifted the camera and shot her shooting me.
this was a housing unit for a disabled single woman, abused twice in life by a priest and another and also been in psychiatry due to that trauma alone.
you can only take so much.
this social housing unit was offered to make my quality of life better and i was persuaded to move by a health official of the HSE, who wasnt even around at the time of the agreed transfer.
no health official available on the day for advice and i set myself in for mighty trouble.i
i didnt want to move EVER and certainly once i agreed i still didnt want to move far from where i had grown up.
where i had spent fourteen years of being a sick adult trying to cope.
against consultants wishes i was outted and badly outted.
then suddenly the HSE decided this was a housing issue not a health issue and closed the case.
so a health issue was a health issue at the start but once housed it ceased to be even though the housing was causing me to vere toward suicidal thoughts and a nervous breakdown.
simply put they got out and off the case for utter convenience and left me to sort the mess myself.
i did with the help of a sister with parkinsons.
we sold one property divided the money and bought two bungalows.
 |
| oh let me be here again and forever |
 |
| hugging Killiney |
they interferred again.
they didnt to the sister because she had once worked and had doctor in front of her name.
believe me we are in an evil society where health officials give sick people no peace whatsoever.
where officialdom refuse point blankly to stand up and be counted but would far rather kill people off than face blame for destroying lives.
i am speaking here strongly against the Irish HSE who did just that.
they killed me off.
they effectively detroyed my life, caused me pain beyond endurance and there is no letting up.
i meet one this friday for a seating assessment for a powered wheelchair, this worker's coworker gave me a wheelchair from hell that lost a wheel and careered into a wall and with me in it.
i fully am aware that daily i get more hits on my blog.
spread the word.
i want the HSE held to account for murder.
this is the truth.
murder.
no it isnt too strong a word.
when you kill a person to the point of just being a carcus that has a bit of blood in it but nothing more then you have destroyed a life, and they have done this period.
I will face the HSE and never ever pander again to their gross behaviours.
i say, get out of my life.
you are here to serve the sick.
you are here to serve ME, and i am not here to be bullied, intimidated and battered in fear, anxiety pain and grief.
you are an evil bunch and i have no difficulty making this statement.
you are evil.
because of you i lost the street i adored, the county i was crazy about and the knowing that people were there i could say hello to but here there is you and there is myself lost in a place i do not know, where i know no one and where i had hoped i would make a fresh start.
again you didnt even allow that happen.
to me, what i think of you i am stating here.
destroyers, evil and unaccountable.
feeling blameless as the type of files they write up amount to slander.
feeling blameless because if they cannot help solve a difficulty they get out of the heat.
feeling blameless because they refuse to acknowledge anything and will to their own dying day try to make others believe that they are lilywhite.
to me, black stone.
do you think i sound angry.
i do.
and am
 |
| It was so impossible to cope in a unit fit for a mouse. eight floor boards between fire and only comfortable chair. two rooms, to live in such a tiny unit you were not even able to open fully a manual wheelchair! |
 |
| the exhaustion etched on my dear twin's face as she helps me move out, even then there was no physical help for two women with chronic disease and life threatening illness. Disgrace |
Saturday, March 29, 2014
Tinge of everything AND A BIT OF COMMON SENSE
hello everyone.
again i am slow to keep up the blogging.
but again there is that stress, the humbug of stress.
and distress in a lot of things.
I am thinking of sickness.
not just for my sister and my self.
I am thinking of family
not just for my sister and myself.
I am also thinking of other words, they trip over each other to demand a dominant space to ponder, find a solution for and get cleared out of the lexicon.
we have for instance trotting one on top of the other.....
Pain
Isolation
Ignorance
Fear
Financial worry
cut backs
Lack of services.
Global pain (will explain)
Unkindness
pain - again - I will explain.
Difference
Inequality
Crookery
Devious
Hopelessness
ABANDONMENT FROM SOCIETY. - I will address this as well.
I guess really, the final statement or cluster of words in an ungrammatical sentence would explain all the above as being the cause of all the above.
i will not go through the list but it does concentrate the mind away from the following:
Energy
Friendship
purpose
Engagement
Fitness
Carefree
Laughing
Freedom
Opportunity
Empathy
Enabled
INCLUDED IN ALL THINGS AS IN LIFE ITSELF
ON EVERY LEVEL, IN EVERY WAY BY ALL THAT WE CONNECT WITH AND ALL THAT SURROUNDS US.
WHAT WE HAVE INSTEAD:
is, a separation between those who do engage on a healthy level and find purpose and reasons that sustain them.
people have enough energy to retain the friendships, explore the possibility of more and entertain with empathy.
HAVE full engagement without worry or stress. Energy will be no real difficulty so to cause a crash of regrets, slumber, agony and depression.
Lonlieness is alienation from a world that is running on full.
Lonliness is a separation, you are caged either within four walls or soft bedding.
Lonliness means no communication because the world has decided to carry on without you.
Lonliness is feeling helpless to effect change due to sickness, disability.
Lonliness is the separation from the full tank of purposeful endeavour.
The connectedness of peoples are broken when an individual gets sick.
When a person becomes disabled there is a fear of abandonment, also many fights ensue which cause the gap to widen within society, a community, a friendship and family.
Many roll on by and many decide to castigate the person so unwell as being a cause of something completely outside the disability itself.
when the clash begins between a well person and an unwell person it can lead to feuding, misunderstanding, alienation and silence and this may last for years or decades or weeks.
The distance then becomes wider and the gap is getting bigger not narrowing to bring all to a place where one does embrace the other.
Reason goes out the window.
The sick know in their hearts that they need help but as far as it goes, that help is to assist them remain in society.
This is the agenda for the sick and disabled.
There is the right to carry on as equal and this is not a contentious issue in itself, its a reasonable request of the sick and disabled. Belonging is part of what we call 'society.'
The well, the healthy and the able see it in a totally different way.
They remark with horror how you do not cope but fail to understand the dynamic of coping.
Most do cope with help, when sick and disabled.
This notion seems to be lacking in the psyche of the person who is bouncing about with glee, enthusiasm and focus.
They also feel that with sickness something may happen their own joie la vie, but this isn't necessarily so.
No person who is disabled requires or demands the full and undivided attention of another.
Many just want an easier way to cope which requires a tad bit of help.
The vast difference between what a disabled person perceives as need and what an abled bodied person perceives (with fear of demand) of need by another individual are two entirely different concepts.
I can illustrate with ease some ideas around how help, assistance and care are not expensive of time, energy or money.
Anyone would have a lunch out from time to time with others and banter and chat.
The only difference of providing this for a disabled person is a bit of arranging around schedule, accessability and time frames.
The lunch may be nearer to home, may be shorter and may require a bigger transport vehicle and just a tiny edge of time both sides of the lunch, but actually if the lunch was to become shorter, no time is actually wasted.
The rest is simples.
The banter and chat can be equal and all come away happy.
i know someone will then say there are different levels of disability that require far more input.
if so, and yes so, then the intervention can be less frequent, less complicated and others can step in for a slot if arrangement by phone can take place.
A sickie may then need or require a bowl of soup to her/his home.
The banter will be less fraught for all and cuts to the chase.
To abandon completely to lonlieness in the face of laziness is just that.
Abandonment which is not justified is unhelpful and causes harm to both parties.
Family and society breaks apart when perceptions are twisted in such a way.
The disabled are as a group 'hard work.'
..................NOT SO.............................
Because............ (people are all hard work),
...........................it just demands a bit of heart.
most don't really like work, but heart is cheap.
There is not a difference to the quality of engagement, the quality of acceptance and the quality of love when someone becomes sick and unwell and disabled.
when two people fall out especially if they never have before and its over disability, need and desire then its about perception of input that usually is to blame.
Most are not asking a lot just a bit of accommodation and tweaking of ways of engagement.
Disabled people need to be part of society as equal in a way that brings enjoyment for everyone.
None want antagonism, quarrelling and pain of the different kind.
most just want to be part of the world going round until it stops for you or us or when the world stops anyway because we also are crucifying it!
That is another blog entirely.
I bet you will find that blog is about the same.
Work if another way is can be found, a perception of cost, perception of time and perception of hardship.
in essence, humans seem to demand an easy life.
Some get it and a vast number have a life of pain, anquish and abandonment on a grand scale.
hardly fair when we are social beings and consider ourselves as such and enjoy being so.
it seems though
.........'it all depends......'
..............so it does............
........IS IT TOO HARD WORK THEN?..............
again i am slow to keep up the blogging.
but again there is that stress, the humbug of stress.
and distress in a lot of things.
I am thinking of sickness.
not just for my sister and my self.
I am thinking of family
not just for my sister and myself.
I am also thinking of other words, they trip over each other to demand a dominant space to ponder, find a solution for and get cleared out of the lexicon.
we have for instance trotting one on top of the other.....
Pain
Isolation
Ignorance
Fear
Financial worry
cut backs
Lack of services.
Global pain (will explain)
Unkindness
pain - again - I will explain.
Difference
Inequality
Crookery
Devious
Hopelessness
ABANDONMENT FROM SOCIETY. - I will address this as well.
I guess really, the final statement or cluster of words in an ungrammatical sentence would explain all the above as being the cause of all the above.
i will not go through the list but it does concentrate the mind away from the following:
Energy
Friendship
purpose
Engagement
Fitness
Carefree
Laughing
Freedom
Opportunity
Empathy
Enabled
INCLUDED IN ALL THINGS AS IN LIFE ITSELF
 |
| WHEN I WAS COLD YOU GAVE ME A COAT |
WHAT WE HAVE INSTEAD:
is, a separation between those who do engage on a healthy level and find purpose and reasons that sustain them.
people have enough energy to retain the friendships, explore the possibility of more and entertain with empathy.
HAVE full engagement without worry or stress. Energy will be no real difficulty so to cause a crash of regrets, slumber, agony and depression.
Lonlieness is alienation from a world that is running on full.
Lonliness is a separation, you are caged either within four walls or soft bedding.
Lonliness means no communication because the world has decided to carry on without you.
 |
| I am alone! |
Lonliness is the separation from the full tank of purposeful endeavour.
 |
| No you are not! |
When a person becomes disabled there is a fear of abandonment, also many fights ensue which cause the gap to widen within society, a community, a friendship and family.
Many roll on by and many decide to castigate the person so unwell as being a cause of something completely outside the disability itself.
when the clash begins between a well person and an unwell person it can lead to feuding, misunderstanding, alienation and silence and this may last for years or decades or weeks.
 |
| ................I am alone................ |
Reason goes out the window.
The sick know in their hearts that they need help but as far as it goes, that help is to assist them remain in society.
This is the agenda for the sick and disabled.
There is the right to carry on as equal and this is not a contentious issue in itself, its a reasonable request of the sick and disabled. Belonging is part of what we call 'society.'
The well, the healthy and the able see it in a totally different way.
They remark with horror how you do not cope but fail to understand the dynamic of coping.
Most do cope with help, when sick and disabled.
This notion seems to be lacking in the psyche of the person who is bouncing about with glee, enthusiasm and focus.
They also feel that with sickness something may happen their own joie la vie, but this isn't necessarily so.
No person who is disabled requires or demands the full and undivided attention of another.
 |
| ...........NO! YOU ARE NOT!........... |
Many just want an easier way to cope which requires a tad bit of help.
The vast difference between what a disabled person perceives as need and what an abled bodied person perceives (with fear of demand) of need by another individual are two entirely different concepts.
I can illustrate with ease some ideas around how help, assistance and care are not expensive of time, energy or money.
Anyone would have a lunch out from time to time with others and banter and chat.
The only difference of providing this for a disabled person is a bit of arranging around schedule, accessability and time frames.
The lunch may be nearer to home, may be shorter and may require a bigger transport vehicle and just a tiny edge of time both sides of the lunch, but actually if the lunch was to become shorter, no time is actually wasted.
The rest is simples.
The banter and chat can be equal and all come away happy.
i know someone will then say there are different levels of disability that require far more input.
if so, and yes so, then the intervention can be less frequent, less complicated and others can step in for a slot if arrangement by phone can take place.
A sickie may then need or require a bowl of soup to her/his home.
The banter will be less fraught for all and cuts to the chase.
To abandon completely to lonlieness in the face of laziness is just that.
Abandonment which is not justified is unhelpful and causes harm to both parties.
Family and society breaks apart when perceptions are twisted in such a way.
The disabled are as a group 'hard work.'
..................NOT SO.............................
Because............ (people are all hard work),
...........................it just demands a bit of heart.
most don't really like work, but heart is cheap.
There is not a difference to the quality of engagement, the quality of acceptance and the quality of love when someone becomes sick and unwell and disabled.
when two people fall out especially if they never have before and its over disability, need and desire then its about perception of input that usually is to blame.
Most are not asking a lot just a bit of accommodation and tweaking of ways of engagement.
Disabled people need to be part of society as equal in a way that brings enjoyment for everyone.
None want antagonism, quarrelling and pain of the different kind.
most just want to be part of the world going round until it stops for you or us or when the world stops anyway because we also are crucifying it!
That is another blog entirely.
I bet you will find that blog is about the same.
Work if another way is can be found, a perception of cost, perception of time and perception of hardship.
in essence, humans seem to demand an easy life.
Some get it and a vast number have a life of pain, anquish and abandonment on a grand scale.
hardly fair when we are social beings and consider ourselves as such and enjoy being so.
it seems though
.........'it all depends......'
..............so it does............
........IS IT TOO HARD WORK THEN?..............
Tuesday, March 18, 2014
when shock decides the value of LIfe
SHOCK.
Electric
Pain
burning
HURT
AGONY
Electric
its between TWO of US and we don't fully understand how we got there/here and how we get out, alive or DEAD!
Can i image living like this for the last decade of my life?
No.
Do i need it, do i want it and do i actually deserve it.
tell me this as well....
why should two individuals in so much pain be neglected in such a manner to have to infuse their lives with the Pain of SHOCK now and every day ahead until the day we die?
We look at one such individual, my twin sister.
she spoke at the UN.
She had a TV documentary made about her.
she won the Emma Humphries Memorial Prize for outstanding contribution to women in the UK.
where is she now?
she is sitting watching the TV on the top of a small hill in a small village.
she is disabled, sick and very alone.
tell me do you think this right?
Did she mean to end this way?
No she didn't.
why did she?
I tell you why...because when you are sick and disabled the CULTURE now is to blame us (yes i am in the same rocky boat) for the ills of the world and for the Pain of financial loss within society.
this is not what has happened.
My twin paid her taxes, albeit she began working very late and she has her reasons for this.
she was true to her calling 'to do good, if i can, and when i can' and she did just that.
she didn't gamble on the stock market or do insider dealings, defraud or sell us to the highest bidder.
she worked hard, steadily improving lives of vulnerable women and children.
now she watches telly on the top of the hill.
she hears from very few people.
she gets out even less.
she doesn't drive.
she hasn't a reliable wheelchair.
she is alone and she has been left.
Mary Raftery god bless her, wrote a piece before she died at how the Irish doesn't even see a person named Margaret and Mary lauded her in the Irish times for getting the Emma Humphries Memorial prize.
but the silence of our nation to those who have received due honour for good works is deafening.
and why should I, who was abused, in psychiatry for all the wrong reasons, be near her and see this and feel this pain too.
why should i be penniless now because i wasn't fortunate to have the education, the ability to move away from Ireland and then i was dumped unceremoniously into the hands of psychiatry because i too was vulnerable and scared and had a reason to be.
why should two individuals who did actually work for others be left in such a mess at the end of their lives?
we are in shock.
we are in pain, both physically and mentally.
we are very alone.
we are only 61 and in real terms most do not have to face this so early and certainly some do not face disability or pain or illness at all.
they may face old age, i feel that and more.
waking and sleeping seeing no one, not doing a lot and being too unwell anyway to do much at all.
imagine being so jaded tired that you cannot turn over physically in the bed.
imagine being so tired you weep and tears fall knowing you have to be the one to get off the sofa and go make a meal.
imagine being so tired knowing that there isn't a lot you can actually DO to bring your eyes back in focus when they go out of focus due to exhaustion.
to you cannot do anything with extreme fatigue and we are this way because of Mito Disease.
we are this way because our energy mito cells are dying.
so when an energy filled life and style ends do you just forget that individual, leave her to die alone on the top of a hill despite all that this individual has given to society.
and do you allow it happen.
because as i see it, you are allowing this happen to your own.
your very own.
Electric
Pain
burning
HURT
AGONY
Electric
its between TWO of US and we don't fully understand how we got there/here and how we get out, alive or DEAD!
No.
Do i need it, do i want it and do i actually deserve it.
No. I am in a London Hospital trying to find out why i am so Rare
tell me this as well....
why should two individuals in so much pain be neglected in such a manner to have to infuse their lives with the Pain of SHOCK now and every day ahead until the day we die?
We look at one such individual, my twin sister.
she spoke at the UN.
She had a TV documentary made about her.
she won the Emma Humphries Memorial Prize for outstanding contribution to women in the UK.
where is she now?
she is sitting watching the TV on the top of a small hill in a small village.
she is disabled, sick and very alone.
tell me do you think this right?
Did she mean to end this way?
No she didn't.
why did she?
I tell you why...because when you are sick and disabled the CULTURE now is to blame us (yes i am in the same rocky boat) for the ills of the world and for the Pain of financial loss within society.
this is not what has happened.
My twin paid her taxes, albeit she began working very late and she has her reasons for this.
she was true to her calling 'to do good, if i can, and when i can' and she did just that.
she didn't gamble on the stock market or do insider dealings, defraud or sell us to the highest bidder.
she worked hard, steadily improving lives of vulnerable women and children.
now she watches telly on the top of the hill.
she hears from very few people.
she gets out even less.
she doesn't drive.
she hasn't a reliable wheelchair.
she is alone and she has been left.
Mary Raftery god bless her, wrote a piece before she died at how the Irish doesn't even see a person named Margaret and Mary lauded her in the Irish times for getting the Emma Humphries Memorial prize.
but the silence of our nation to those who have received due honour for good works is deafening.
she has done alot for others isn't it time someone did something for her, give back to her a modicum of what she gave of her self to others? My dear twin sister, lying in a London hospital trying to find out why she too is so Rare. the despair of not understanding or knowing any reasons.
and why should I, who was abused, in psychiatry for all the wrong reasons, be near her and see this and feel this pain too.
why should i be penniless now because i wasn't fortunate to have the education, the ability to move away from Ireland and then i was dumped unceremoniously into the hands of psychiatry because i too was vulnerable and scared and had a reason to be.
why should two individuals who did actually work for others be left in such a mess at the end of their lives?
we are in shock.
we are in pain, both physically and mentally.
we are very alone.
we are only 61 and in real terms most do not have to face this so early and certainly some do not face disability or pain or illness at all.
they may face old age, i feel that and more.
the singing ambulance man tries to cheer us up when he finds us in the corridor, London hospital recently
my fate and it is fate will mean that i will have to try and so will my twin have to attempt to find the way to deal with a spare decade of decline. if i see it now for say the past few weeks, i would hate to believe it will be like this.waking and sleeping seeing no one, not doing a lot and being too unwell anyway to do much at all.
imagine being so jaded tired that you cannot turn over physically in the bed.
imagine being so tired you weep and tears fall knowing you have to be the one to get off the sofa and go make a meal.
imagine being so tired knowing that there isn't a lot you can actually DO to bring your eyes back in focus when they go out of focus due to exhaustion.
Pain, real physical pain makes it impossible for me to sleep, my body is an alien thing, turning me into a twisted heap, trying to get comfortable and never being able
to you cannot do anything with extreme fatigue and we are this way because of Mito Disease.
we are this way because our energy mito cells are dying.
so when an energy filled life and style ends do you just forget that individual, leave her to die alone on the top of a hill despite all that this individual has given to society.
and do you allow it happen.
because as i see it, you are allowing this happen to your own.
your very own.
I will sing to you and so he does before i go to the theatre for a small op to take muscle from my thigh, a quest to find out the reasons why so ill and so so tired all the time....but he may sings but only he does for either of us
Friday, March 14, 2014
st patrick's day 2014
i find it odd, every year we have a colouring book of only green for one 'glorious' day and then its grime again.
do people around the world REALLY understand Ireland and who is this patriotic outpouring in aid off, i call it 'boil over.'
i think to admire three minutes of video expounding the virtues of Ireland is missing the point entirely.
we are more than the sum total of green, the grass and the hills and bumps of Eire.
we are a tiny country that seems not to be able to manage itself, but seemingly its people do well once they leave.
what that says about us is anyone's guess.
the guessing has been done of course many times, conclusions reached and we'd be eggits if we didnt know why.
we are a country rife with distress, dysfunction, corruption and crookery.
we are a country with brilliant artists from all disciplines, theatre, literature, art to a degree and of course poetry.
but we are also a country of people who know the saying 'you scratch my back and i will scratch yours.' the country who approve of 'brown envelops' because these still appear at everything from local county council levels to the Dail chambers, charities, banks and all manner of organisations.
you just have to wave a few wads of cash or other favour and another will be done unto you.
and this kind of economic madness caused the economic mad crash.
speculating too and trying to cover arse is also a good irish trait from cheltenham to making phone calls and joking about how you conned the government and calling it Moolah.
we are good at these things.
St Patrick may have banished the snakes, but he left the oddest kind here.
the christian nation of saints and scholars.
Will i be celebrating St. Patricks Day.
not for the reasons many will, no. but i will go and see who turns up and out for the parade.
very good snoop value indeed, and a photoshoot opportunity.
to say i am disappointed to be calling myself Irish is putting it mildly.
i am cringing with embarrassment at being one and sending another eggit half way across the globe to shake the hands of you know who.
we do this flight of earls in modern times, yearly, all the quacks queue up for the gangway and gangplanks of planes rushing out for the party, leaving much devastation at home.
the mighty crash has left a huge amount of our youth leaving our shores.
the mighty crash has left behind poverty not seen before since famine times.
modern poverty - house repossession, bankruptcy for young families, small business men and women, small shops closing, large factories and work sources closing.
streets emptied of retail outlets.
Disability pensions constantly slashed at every budget.
mobility allowances being stopped.
small allowances for the elderly being eroded time and time leaving many without communication with their own families, without money for heating and food.
many now worry about health care and provision of end of life care.
A & E's are frightening places of danger.
hospitals are brimming with bed blockers and these poor victims have no place to go so they lay in wait.
things like hearing aids are now out of the reach of many.
wheelchair provision is being fought for with bitter fights between embroiled hse staff asked to tighten control on their budgets and despairing sick and disabled.
anger in all camps really with work place contentment at an all time low.
patients being sent obnoxious letters by overpaid consultants who are also overworked but its not the fault of patients who ask for care and they cannot cope.
we have the worst neurological care provision in the whole of Europe.
no green beer will blot this one out my friends.
tip the glass and tip the Irish for they need it badly.
begging do they go our ministers, ministering and grovelling to the rich countries on our behalf.
Buy up something of ours, they squeal, and they do!
our dogs, our zoos, our trees.
our country.
it isnt Irish anymore.
We do not own our country, those that do are just about every one else bar us.
the Tricolour should be multi-coloured but there are too many colours to design a flag with.
So Slainte for the day that harkens worldwide.
from the Ban of this Ti.
do people around the world REALLY understand Ireland and who is this patriotic outpouring in aid off, i call it 'boil over.'
i think to admire three minutes of video expounding the virtues of Ireland is missing the point entirely.
we are more than the sum total of green, the grass and the hills and bumps of Eire.
we are a tiny country that seems not to be able to manage itself, but seemingly its people do well once they leave.
what that says about us is anyone's guess.
the guessing has been done of course many times, conclusions reached and we'd be eggits if we didnt know why.
we are a country rife with distress, dysfunction, corruption and crookery.
we are a country with brilliant artists from all disciplines, theatre, literature, art to a degree and of course poetry.
but we are also a country of people who know the saying 'you scratch my back and i will scratch yours.' the country who approve of 'brown envelops' because these still appear at everything from local county council levels to the Dail chambers, charities, banks and all manner of organisations.
you just have to wave a few wads of cash or other favour and another will be done unto you.
and this kind of economic madness caused the economic mad crash.
speculating too and trying to cover arse is also a good irish trait from cheltenham to making phone calls and joking about how you conned the government and calling it Moolah.
we are good at these things.
St Patrick may have banished the snakes, but he left the oddest kind here.
the christian nation of saints and scholars.
Will i be celebrating St. Patricks Day.
not for the reasons many will, no. but i will go and see who turns up and out for the parade.
very good snoop value indeed, and a photoshoot opportunity.
to say i am disappointed to be calling myself Irish is putting it mildly.i am cringing with embarrassment at being one and sending another eggit half way across the globe to shake the hands of you know who.
we do this flight of earls in modern times, yearly, all the quacks queue up for the gangway and gangplanks of planes rushing out for the party, leaving much devastation at home.
the mighty crash has left a huge amount of our youth leaving our shores.
the mighty crash has left behind poverty not seen before since famine times.
modern poverty - house repossession, bankruptcy for young families, small business men and women, small shops closing, large factories and work sources closing.
streets emptied of retail outlets.
Disability pensions constantly slashed at every budget.
mobility allowances being stopped.small allowances for the elderly being eroded time and time leaving many without communication with their own families, without money for heating and food.
many now worry about health care and provision of end of life care.
A & E's are frightening places of danger.hospitals are brimming with bed blockers and these poor victims have no place to go so they lay in wait.
things like hearing aids are now out of the reach of many.
wheelchair provision is being fought for with bitter fights between embroiled hse staff asked to tighten control on their budgets and despairing sick and disabled.
anger in all camps really with work place contentment at an all time low.
patients being sent obnoxious letters by overpaid consultants who are also overworked but its not the fault of patients who ask for care and they cannot cope.
we have the worst neurological care provision in the whole of Europe.
no green beer will blot this one out my friends.
tip the glass and tip the Irish for they need it badly.
begging do they go our ministers, ministering and grovelling to the rich countries on our behalf.
Buy up something of ours, they squeal, and they do!
our dogs, our zoos, our trees.
our country.
it isnt Irish anymore.
We do not own our country, those that do are just about every one else bar us.
from the Ban of this Ti.
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