HSE LOOK WHAT YOU HAVE DONE TO ME, LOOK WHAT YOU ARE DOING TO MANY - IN IRELAND, MINISTER FOR HEALTH, THIS IS YOUR CALL

At the age of 63 I do feel ok to be the moaner and groaner on board the rocky ship, which is ‘Ireland’.

It is fine to point out a few facts regarding healthcare here

I am fine about it.

try being so sick you wake a mess and confused

Yes, my first line states ‘moaning’ and ‘groaning’

But is it?

Who is presently very sick in this gorgeous country right now?

Who is on that trolley, on the waiting lists or facing the organizations dealing with health care on this Isle?

try 'doing' pain and being left to 'do pain'

I am.

Does that make me a grand candidate to have a column here and say it as it is?

It does.

The first dose went a long way in a ‘angry’ spike against this old hag in this dear town.

I am touching senior citizen status, (I believe that is 65 in Ireland and 62 1/2 in the UK).

Therefore my twin sister is technically a geriatric, I am a middle aged woman!

We live in Ireland with a very rare disease but to get healthcare we have to prove this.

This has taken us now about 10 yrs, we have to prove what doctors say, ‘prove it’ means get the doctors to write to the HSE and say it.

No, as an upstanding citizen, I cannot hand a headed notepaper with the reports, results and tests done and defects found to the HSE, I am told,  they have been known to be ‘forged.’

I kid you not.

When a wheelchair arrives at your doorstep after a prelim test at the car park of the local HSE public health centre I immediately get a phone call to hand it back!

It wasn’t meant for the senior citizen but the geriatric.  (that’s my twin sister).

I exclaim that the company sending it had rung me before saying my name and address was on the cite, ‘Yes, that’s ME!”  woopie, mobiliteee!”

No, it’s for the geriatric, I am to hand it back.

I don’t because I am afraid of the HSE and what they will do, give me nothing.

A real possibility because we are what they say ‘in dispute’

About many things so this is very possible.

In my case it is very real and its proven to be the case already.

Also in my case leading me to brink and breaking point of landing in this town’s harbour, so much has the stress being in fighting a mafia type group of managers and overloads of our healthcare system.

I refuse then.  When I say to them it isn’t going well, they claim ‘you should have handed it back!’

But what then, what will I have, no I don’t believe they would give you something else, especially if you are ‘in dispute’ over many issues.

Try it.   Trust your instincts and you would get this right.

So when a wheel flew off the darn thing the HSE say ‘I told you so, you were not meant to have it, it wasn’t meant for you, we asked you to hand it back, it was meant for the geriatric, not the senior citizen.’

“So”, says I, “you mean it was OK for the geriatric then to go into a wall opposite St. Vincents hospital rather than the senior citizen?”

“its actually OK to give a senior citizen a banger of a machine repeatedly repaired with duct tape and finally when the wheel flew told that the bolts used to hold them wheels on were the wrong ones by the technician, what happens? I  am blamed.

Here’s how.

So afraid of the HSE (rightly so) after the wheel flew and I belted into a priest’s house wall opposite the hospital (which I saw again today on the same route to the same neurologist) I asked a lawn mower company to just secure what bolts there were so nothing more would fly.  The lawn mower company had never seen a wheelchair before, not for repair with all the lawnmowers anyway, so he did what I asked, secured what was left.

By the way the wheelchair I used to pass the hard wall today has no suspension coils whatsoever, so I feel the cracks on the road, cracking up my spine to the disintegrated spinal discs which are compressing for which I am waiting for a nerve block for pain relief.  (you couldn’t make this up if you tried.)

The HSE claim I tampered with it, that is the wheelchair that lost that wheel.

They would.

Someone has to believe this rubbish.

Someone has to write it, say it and actually believe it.

That is why I am afraid of the HSE.

Now, this is a taster of worse to come, and that I ask you to believe in.

I am 62yrs of age.

I have grappled with a rattlesnake now for over four years or more.

Grappled with a very rare and serious illness which is progressive and degenerative.

This holy town of yours is unable to provide me with physiotherapy, an OT locally since arriving here, some psychological support after fleeing my own county after being shot at.

And I now need for PTSD, which a doctor in these parts say I am suffering from.

They don’t believe how ill I am.

No one believes how sick the HSE is, but actually many do but are afraid to speak out.

I won’t be silenced in how I feel about the HSE.

getting warm in a warm place after being cold and out saying "NO" to the HSE

when we say "NO" and we say it often.

But more than that, it’s a deep and worrying fact of life, that people, many people are suffering fall out of falling foul of the HSE.

By that I mean a simple enough word, like Oliver who dared to ask, I dared to say “no”

And Yes, I will say “no” when NO means shoddy or no care in a healthcare system.

That’s what a senior citizen does, who doesn’t wear purple hats and spits and rattles her stick along railings, but rather wears a pink bowler.

i want to find that hole to hide away in.

That’s the embarrassing part.

Nothing counts, if you have not your health.

And Life is not worth living if you spend all your time trying to get basics of healthcare during a time you are attending a Hospice for the dying, no that’s not fake either.

painful realisation....

It’s a ghastly Ireland we live in, therefore I am not afraid to rattle a few bones and ruffle a few feathers, if it galvanizes thought and serious thoughts, I am not afraid, but I would be afraid of the future for all, in this care system that we have at present namely the HSE, remember that, its called wait for it, “THE HSE,” that stands for Health Service Executive.

one day attempting to revive a life again

not long after being bullied to give back the same mobility scooter that gave me life, gave me a means to do 'irish therapy dogs with maggie, and helping the blind and here saying one final 'goodbye' thinking if i made this sacrifice, maybe the HSE would be kinder to me, sorry mate, there are not being kinder.  its not part of who they are.

what more can i really say on this?

This is your service, so have your say.

I am.

MY BIGGEST WISH IS THAT THE SICK AND DISABLED WILL BE GALVANISED TO FIGHT BACK IN A DISEASED IRELAND.

I DONT THINK THE QUESTION IS A BAD ONE, FOR LIFE IS BECOMING INCREDIBLY BAD FOR A LOT OF PEOPLE.  QUESTIONS HAVE TO BE ASKED, WHEN WILL IT END.

I HAVE TO TELL 'JOURNAL.IE' THAT NOTHING HAS CHANGED, I STILL DO NOT HAVE ORTHOPAEDIC FOOTWEAR FOR DEFORMED FEET, REMEMBER THE ARTICLE?  REMEMBER ME?

ONCE I MADE A STATEMENT OF INTENT AND DESIRE
ONCE I SPOKE OF LOVE AND YEARNING

NOW I MAKE A STATEMENT OF TRUTH WITH A LOT OF THOUGHT AND LONGING -
CAN SOMEONE TELL ME IF I CAN BE ALLOWED TO LIVE AGAIN - CAN SOMEONE SEE MY FACE ON THE MOBILITY SCOOTER ABOVE WHERE THE CHIHUAHUAS ARE IN THAT BASKET AND I AM LAUGHING AS I LEAVE MY TWINS HOME WITH A PLAN, TO REJUVENATE AND SO TOO REKINDLE MY LIFE.
BUT I AM THINKING THE BIG THOUGHT
"WHERE THE HELL HAS MY LIFE GONE"
"WHY HAS IT GONE"
THE HSE TOOK IT, THATS WHY