awnyah todaysay

I had an interesting day at the office for sure.

almost two years of anxiety and involvement with the law enforcement agency in my little country of Ireland, played on my twin's and my mind.
I have  never been accused of a criminal offense before and certainly never anticipated ending at the local court room for petty criminals and traffic offenders, alcoholics and causing an affray!

a certain little missie of a garda, who was shifted promptly to the midlands, who was reprimanded by the Garda Ombudsman decided she was going to have 'her day in court,' well not so.
she did a sickie on this one!

she neither supplied the court with prosecution documents to the defense which she was requested by the courts to do before now, before today.  she evidently didnt get much support for her argument.
so on a warm autumn day my twin and i dressed in our finary turned up at the court room in our wheelchairs.  (Do you know how hard a courtroom bench is)?
we were early and i rang the solicitor worried, had we turned up on wrong day and had i missed my day in court, to be slapped with penalty points and a fine, all for the lack of turning up!
no court started at 2pm so we were ok.
a large woman with a strange haircut passed us.
she was wearing a sort of trench coat like the tv soap detective, the little guy who shuffled around in a battered car, whats his name?
anyway she passed and asked "you ann?' i answered in the affirmative.
"dont worry" she said kindly, "the Garda has gone out sick she aint turning up!" she told us that the case would be dropped.
along came our solicitor, with the bat ears.
nice guy, friendly today, much refreshed after the month of august off, very refreshed and refreshingly pleasant.
we chatted there for all to see out side the local crim court, about my dad's golf ball approach from the tee off.   we talked about his humour, his giving up cigarettes at 70 in order to stretch them legs around the course to whack the wee ball from tee to hole
funny game really.
anyway we then turned attention to our mother.
poor ma, she was a fantastic golf player, coming to the sport late in life she achieved the unthinkable. reaching handicap three in just as many years.  and was passed over as too elderly for the womans international golf team, mum never forgot that.
of her personality she was summed up as singular and formidable.
the solicitor remarked that 'she took no prisoners' which she didnt and the fact that 'she didnt suffer fools lightly' which she didnt.
on leaving court with a clear driving license i remarked to my twin, that I TOO did not take prisoners and i would see this little madam in the courts again for the worry she had put me through.
words are inadequate for what she did to us.
i came home and stripped, took the teeth out and lay up on the swinger in the yard.
gud it was great to be a free woman!
one problem has bit the dust, and we move on to the next.
and there are very much nexts indeed, indeed.
we have to source a house, see if i can get grants to upgrade a 'possible' we are to see on tuesday.
i am trying also to have my social housing unit boarded up with its contents inside and be moved into a safer environment in the interim of moving away from this county.
how can it be expected of me to pay for the priviledge of bringing a hammer to the bed with me?
this is a question that has no answers it seems with the professionals.
i have an answer but it doesnt hold much sway.
i should not be expect either to bring a hammer to bed with me or pay for this and pay for trauma on a daily basis, in essence.
i pay to be intimidated and face problems with men who just dont seem to want me here and resent me.
posh accent, which i cannot eradicate and no, i dont have the money to follow this.  i am as disadvantaged as they are, surely this is a fact they simply must know?
do flowers on a van make me a wealthier person?
an old tank of a commercial van with suspect origin and cranked up and down systems which is darn hard to drive for a person with muscle difficulties and pain.
i am not driving the latest plush by any means.
this goes i am snookered absolutely.

we then have great things happening on the national platform - we have a budget shortly, warned to be of a strong nature for us on the bottom, gud dont touch my disab pension nor that of the elderly.
do not touch my perks to get me through the winter in heating etc.
but of course they will touch em. they have done and will again.
those on the top of the economic divide has found no recession, there has not been one and a noted commentated fact.
then we have media out there now rooting out stuff in our social awareness and the way we threat more less able, the people 'put away' for convenience.
as in Mary Raftery's programme, 'behind these walls.' RTE tv.
not many responded to the shocking revelations, which also says a lot for the irish people,there wasnt exactly an outcry.
this has to be subject for debate within the university degree courses, on philosophy and psychology and also sociology for how can it be that not much of a squeak was made of the fact that we put away 21,000 of our own, behind grim high walls all for the reason of being different and for getting in the way of the farms and the inheritors of the farms.
does anyone understand the 'insulin coma' therapy lark?
yes, this is what i agreed to if i went into hospital as a voluntary patient.
read up on this scandelous practise, basically putting us into a diabetic coma, thinking that after a while comatose that once brought round, you would be cured of your malaise.
i never knew i was signing for coma therapy or ect if they wished to administer this.
you are usually in a mess at the doors of a psych hospital when 20 something and terrified of the world.
i had many times the wish "lock me away and get me out of here" attitude. i wish i was told that the world was not so frightening and 'i will help you lass, to learn to cope with the worst of it.'
but no, behaviour presentations of fears, anxiety and terror of another human person was equated with sort of lunacy, insanity or at least, just a tad bit wanting and psychologically challenged.
in a respect to them i probably was a bit challenged but i dont think with any stretch of the imagination that diabetic comas or blasting my head with electricity would make me any less terrified of people.
now as a response to be in the 'system' men and doctors are killer machines and i am terrified of ending in a hopsital now for stigma of mental illness in ireland remains very poor.
we still have to address major human rights negligence against us and them, the less accomplished in life, when it comes to brain function in the sphere of interactiong and interconnecting.
lets not wish it on another that they should be so challenged for sure.
i still believe i can be let die as considered delusional and malingering.
not so.
Life now is cutting edge to stay alive and enjoy the moment, the fact i never 'made it' in society or in economic terms is totally irrelevant.
the fact i tried to be part of it and ask for help is relevant to the way the health system works here.
dont get me started down that route.

my twin has noticed how weak the service providers are, how unwilling they are to step above their station to fight for the rights of their clients.
the feeling within them that they are unable to do this, outside their brief, and that is all up to their boss.
yep university graduates!
also a fact that stuff gets processed so slowly here and sometimes not at all.
the longer you wait and stall, you may think the client has forgotten and given up.
not this client!
'ah sorry, i have not been back to you,' says the social worker advocate, can she explain it.
nay, she made a phone call to someone, couldnt get her and just kinda let it all fall apart and didnt know what to do next so bail out for five months, thus leaving a client high and dry and she getting paid for that.
dispute over whether she was pregnant and about to produce a baby is also irrelevent for someone should have looked at the books for surely they would have found a paper file with my name on it and sourced the advocate, especially the one not pregnant.
no one told the non pregnant advocate that her client was looking for her.
she just had a different middle name initial from the pregnant one.
but also emails had been swinging to her email address and they were all ignored.
'sorry, i am sorry, i have no explanation for you.' was all she could mutter.
my explanation on this lassis is you jumped ship thats what!
you jumped out on this one my girl.
such is the irish professionalism. its grand to be the irish citizen.
but one thing the twin has noticed, we do talk to each other, we do converse, like leaping out of a parked car to admire the furballs one has in tow and mutter that they feel dogs are better than humans.
oh and chat on the high road of the school you went to, and she knew someone there, and did you know for fact that the Archbisop beside the school sent messages to the chief nun in our convent to remonstrate with our teachers for letting us do handstands thus exposing the knickers.
oh yes, he did, and how did he discover that we were exposing knickers?
well he had a telescope trained on the lawns of the convent grounds, how else.
oh and he also kept a jersey cow, whatever that has to do with it.
but he did keep a cow, it was a fine cow too, lovely eyes, gorgeous cow. really lovely lovely cow!
amen to that.