Thursday, August 22, 2013

Victorian bone shaker alive and well and living in Bray

Well i darn knew that it was a bucket on wheels.
metal bucket on wheels, which often loses parts.

thus far it has lost a bolt, a wheel and a control knob.
In that order.

it has been mended by a lawnmower repair guy down a back street of a sleepy village.

these items are supposed to be the latest technology for the disabled.

ahh, the cat outta bag sooner than later...the bone shaker is non other than a wheelchair, powered and badly.

the make is undetermined.  Given the fact my twin's is a multipack, multimake lego style gizmo, mine is possibly the same.
the part with the name on it could be the last vestige of the actual body part that is correct.
the rest being add ons, or in my case temporary add ons.

bone shakers in victorian times were called that because the wheels were metal and sent shock waves up your arse...through the spine to the head, which strangly probably remained attached.
but also possibly gave you a bloody blinder of a headache.
with eye balls bouncing around their sockets and ladies struggling to make sure their long dresses didnt catch in the spokes or chains, it meant collapsed state at the end of a very short journey.
the wheels being solid provided no suspension whatsoever.
the tyres of my gizmo are solid, rock solid so bounce i did, believe me i bounced.
the eyes also bounced and winched as i frowned and cried out at each bump i went over and the divetts in the paving were alarmingly unexpected.
when they came i not only bounced but lurched forward in the seat.

so in description we had it in one - today, 2013.
Bray town.

I made a short trip, journey and stroll on wheels like non other.
even the paving was an echo of past times, bumpy and broken (they were working on a large stretch of the main street), noisy too.

(the headache is beginning).

the sun was shining - this was a day not meant for me and i had discovered quickly it was chosen badly, very badly.
the glare was agony and the heat not nice.

what made me do this was the arrival of postcard promotions for 'the wheels appeal'  this appeal is to foster enthusiasm in the poplace to part with cash for funding aaaah, a  new wheelchair for two and a van to put em in.
yes, cos i cannot 'do' all this anymore.
the van is also a bucket which you rattle around in, the lowest rated vehicle in its class of that tv prog over on the beeb.
and it feels it and you steer it as if driving a tank.
we felt, the twin and i, that needs must and a stance of bravery did not mean driving the bloody contraptions we presently have but holding the head up and with an attitude of 'go for it' bravery a fundraiser for non other than US, us with the neurodegenerative disorder we never wanted, just like boneshakers.

the enthusiasm got the better of me today as i drove to bray and parked the van (thank god outside an italian coffee shop), i then took my less than state of the art powered chair out of the back of this van and sat in it.
i started forth.
the paving on quinsborough road is actually nice and smooth, its also flat.
my machine barely makes any slope at all and has me seriously worried as i approach them.
so all was well for a while.
I even bought a bum bag in a charity shop for 1e.

how many postcards did i part with.
a handful in the book shop as i was making back down the town.
as i approached the main street trouble started.
the sun.
i made for the shady side of the street, Wrong ann wrong.
they were drilling that side, but maybe i hadnt noticed this.
once on it was hard to get off!
i bucketed and banged along with the ouch and ah and oooh's aplenty.
and the lurching of body, rolling of eyes, cracking of spine and jerking of head, hands, legs and any other body part that hit the mainstreet this day.
half way up the cool side (only in regard being shaded) i found i couldnt get off!
the decision to bail out was not an option.
i drove the thing onwards and upwards, until i began to sweat.
my whole modis operande was to get back to the van.
but i couldnt get off this pavement.
i journeyed on to try find those dips in the side of the pavement which allowed an exit.
i found one.
the road was busy and the cars looked huge from the seat of my bone shaker.
i went for it, drove in front of a stopped car in heavy traffic and wove up a bit again before i could come down a bit then.
i drove.
people were everywhere.
and i was hot.
i bounced back to the van but the enthusiasm which brought me out was gone.
passing a book shop i decided i would be a failure in this enterprise if i didnt drop down some cards on someones counter.
i chose hurriedly the books.
the man behind the counter was gorgous.
i think a student.
he took a bundle and i half giggled in pain and shock but defo i half giggled as i handed the promotion over to him.
i got to the van but was shaking so badly i tried to leave the chair by the coffee shop.
i peeled myself out of it.
i could not stand up.
into the shop i heaved myself and sat down cursing mighty.
'a large cappacino and one of those nice cakes please'.
i then rang my twin in rage.
How on earth can the HSE provide such awful items for seriously unwell and disabled people i asked her bewildered.
i honestly didnt think i would be able to drive home.
i was in bits.
after the coffee i had to make some kinda move home.
so i went out to do this.
omg the pain and the effort.
i guided the 'monster' into the van and slammed the doors shut.
cursing i got into drivers seat and set off in the direction of the village with the lawnmower repair man.
i got home and cursed yet again.
i did the horizontal.
i am so angry that anyone should think it ok to hand over such a machine to a sick woman.

it may cut costs to hand out a lego version of a bone shaker but it will cost even more if this lady ever goes back into a wall like only ten days ago.

my day is now documented.
my trip was meant to be as it reinforced my drive to pursue the campaign for better apparatus for people, us crips who need powered chairs and a van to put them in to take them to destination point.
my enthusiasm increased for one and decreased for the other, dramatically.
Bray  may have to do without me for a while.
i vowed never to put myself throught that again.


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