Monday, January 14, 2013

what does being the opposite to powerful, penniless and without crediblity actually mean?

this is a serious question and i wonder does it take getting to elder years to realise that if you are NOT powerful as in being able to use power, if you are not wealthy, that is being unable to afford what you need and if you are have achieved no credibility, that is a far poorer education and being in the psychiatric system for instance then life is pretty much the worst it can be or ever be.

In the modern world, so to speak.

MODERN means to achieve power, wealth and cred, ask all the youngsters this and ask if this is so?

It is, and for a relatively modern woman, being none of these brings torturous days, every day, twenty four seven without a single let up.

Also having none of these plays havoc on relationships, for being thus means you are not spoken to, not invited to things, not considered and the only answer to a person with no cred, no money and no power ending up disabled means - go into sheltered accommodation.

So power means to me, that our HSE in its powerful status (thankfully on its way out as being seen as dangerously powerful) dictate that someone they have never met, someone who may never be the way they 'think' she will be MUST have a 'wet room' and she will, because the HSE demand it and the HSE will never meet her to discuss this issue for the Power says, you will have it, we will discuss this no further.

No discussion, no meeting, refusal to discuss a home that this woman bought with her own money and for which the Irish gov will soon ask for the first installment of the Property tax.
I ask you, when the HSE a government body reconfigures your home, is it YOUR home or is it that of the HSE? because this was done without any say in the matter by the owner.

A fact of being penniless too means you are treated with distain and contempt.

An adaptation grant to facilitiate this 'bloody' wet room has been given.
yet what has been given wouldn't secure a home for a disabled person per se given that a wheelchair will be used within the walls.

You need to pay a bit more for the upgrade but what if all the builders giving an estimation are way over what the woman can afford?

again the answers remain as being the same tactic as that of the HSE, 'I am not going to have you tell me what contractors i am using and i am not putting in expensive windows into this adaptation!'

now this is the wording from the builder to which i have asked to build for a fee, a considerable fee and a fee when the country is on its knees in economic depression and he should be grateful he has been given this project.

but he isn't going to use it to better you the poor, powerless, distainful degenerate of a single disabled woman without support!
THAT grant money is MINE ALL MINE he will be saying and she can have what shit i chose to put into her property build!

well this is how it is looking more and more.

what if this woman cannot afford a 'project manager' that is, to keep the builder within budget, using good materials and getting the job done with skill and with cred....'

the woman then finds herself in the torturous position of begging for free aid, as in the court for the criminal.

this is what i feel, this woman says.
getting shit from the hse
getting shit from the builder
and pretty much accepting shit all along and all through my life.

Lets see about Credibility - do i have any?
well, no!

why, well you are Shit see as in SHIT.
you have been in the mental health system (in ireland) and my friends the distinction is that in Ireland we locked up just about everyone in the 50's with a 'sniff' of difference and this continues in many respects.

WE, the irish have a funny disrespect for the species of human that they dont approve of, and i tick all the boxes on that one, apparently.

I am also shit because i dont  have staff, am not a director, i do not have a third level education, am not a doctor nor teacher nor nothin.'

What i am is shit.

it doesn't really matter that i also am deaf, have asperger and actually did darn well given the cards dealt with.
this is not considered in a world obsessed with Power, Wealth and CRED. (and greed).

what have i given to the world they ask, looking down their own hairy noses.

I say what i feel i have given and i hope that many will also feel the same.

Love to the least able, and the love i gave was by giving what i could.
what i could is, Time (no money involved) engagement as in communication, time (no money needed)
skills, driving the sick and least able to doctors appointments and supporting them, which is not expensive and doesn't require a great deal of third level education.  It requires Love.
what else...i engaged with some doctors for some very seriously ill people...i, being more educated then them and saner in some cases, but what i gave was a skill, not requiring power or money or cred.
I saved a life!  and i am pretty proud of this fact.
how, a paranoid schizophrenic was suicidal but who did he chose to have it in, who contained him until he was better and better enough to thank me.
so better that he isn't living on a balconied apartment that he signed without seeing (pretty much like my OT who signed without seeing), and he was grateful for he told me.
"i am on a balcony! the first time i am suicidal again, its over and out mr."
and thats what he saw and i saw.
he was then accepted into a far better environment of a nursing home and he was actually grateful for the stresses in his life to be much lifted and he being elevated to level comfort - for a change!

what can i do against power and the wealthy and the credible.
what i say to many can say that they went the mile in the moccassin of the least able.
those who pissed on your doorstep and yet you drove them to safety and returned to get their home cleaned out in order for them to come back to a better state (this did take money)!

anyone straight out of hospital who immediately goes to another sick person to help her in a difficult situation is someone who has cred.
the difficult situation was dealt with and well.

but  now being least able, penniless, considered shit i am receiving this, SHIT.

contempt, rudeness, being stomped upon despite overcoming so much and all the time trying more to overcome.
the barriers in my skills of communication that keep me isolated alone, friendless in a sea of people due to asperger syndrome.

people do terrible things to people.

Irish people, men and women do dreadful things to their fellow humans.
the HSE should be disbanded.
Grants should not be dished out without being overseen as these grants are given to vulnerable people, not all of whom have family support or partners.

Leaving situations so tangled is the art of the wealthy and powerful. (and the Irish)!
they have not a balls idea of how it works on the ground.
who suffers.
the least able.
but if they walked that friggin mile in the fecking mocassins of the flipping disabled and vulnerably insanely poor and powerless with no cred maybe we would all be able to live, with some decency and some respect.

Living is not for the faint hearted, and talking of mocassins, the arrows of darts and pain fly true to the person who can least deal with the flight of the clipped feather and poisoned tips.

who knows this after a lifetime - I do.
and no, it wasnt a contractual agreement either.

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