this is really really personal......
.........very shortly after years..........we, the twins, that is Awynah and her other, Raging Wheels, will either be told or be given information that could be devastating or revealing...it could pave the way for treatment, cure, care provision and lessen the confusion.
Years of it.
Or.....worse, we will be lift in a holy god of a limbo...we will never know other than surmise that our demise has been due to Congenital Rubella Syndrome.
If this is the case, in holy Ireland, what will become of us?
a very very good question to which there are no answers and this for sure will be devastating, as there is no treatment, no cure, no care providing and it will cause SPIN.
We will not be confused. We will be annihilated so badly in psyche that we will be confined to the inevitable...we will be...waiting to die, in an uncompromising country taking cues from the NHS to pathway us the HSE way.
It won't be pretty.
My twin the Doctor is now on a plane and will be meeting a great doctor of international repute, namely Professor Michael Hanna of Queens Square London.
both of us have had slivers of body parts peeked at under microscopes, blood drawn and pondered, needles piercing and also circling machine which hum and drum around the cranium as its shot with radium, all for the purpose of finding the Whys.
Why can we not walk.
Why do we have generalised dystonia and why do we have a degenerative process involving the brain?
why does one have crohns disease and sjogrens syndrome and the other cancer, treated, but also raging infections to which no one can determine the cause.
Why do both have a shot thyroid, broken limbs as in wasting muscles and painful joints and bombed with morphine and Lyrica.
Why are we going blind and deafness is worse to such a degree that only a sliver of that is left intact and the rest is on the glass somewhere but not in the inner ear for sure.
we are slowly being taken out and asunder and in the meantime we have the unpredictability of the medical confraternity as it literally 'choses' who to care for, in this modern world of sophistication and all things, 'scientific'
Lets not pretend where the world is heading my friends.
we are heading into a shortened lifespan, years as perceived imbeciles and a blast of youth and young men and women, after that its downhill rapidly so by 50 the path is drawn, you are down it one way or the other.
the family will decide along with the state.
you retire, you hand everything over lock stock and barrel to the next generation, you go halfway housing and pathway outtings.
you are sheltered away in the sheltered accommodation and you are here 'for the best', ask though 'whose best is that!?
yours or mine?
Your son or daughter will quickly determine your fate and there will be no going back, my friend.
The one in charge will be an under 40 who will corral you into which ever way he/she wishes to put you, so that she/he may have that blast that is instant, intense, exciting and absorbing.
then he/she will get something!
the lurgy.
he/she will be like me, frightened, waiting, alone and hopeless.
Feel that loneliness and the fear.
Feel the helplessness in lack of choices, lack of services, and lack of family.
FEEL it now, for if you do FEEL it can you feel it so much that you say, Awnyah, what do you think you are saying? do you realize that you have told us the next generation that we will be heartless and gutless, and inhumane and selfish to do this to our own?
Yes, Awnyah is saying that far too quickly the choices of the young is to put away the old, to decide on vast and gross ways of elimination as does the state in its lack of now, hippocratic oath. None have to recite this you know, and so it leaves medicine wide open to abuse.
my dear twin sister, with the wooden spoons and doctorate, already demoralized by an inept health system, and myself, who never had a good image of the health system to start with, waiting and wondering, will health systems rise to the bait and give us a better understanding and a better type of end
No one can actually put off the inevitable, but others do decide, actually, how good the end will be and how it will be spend and where.
it isnt Dr. Raging Wheels nor is it Awnyah, who says this today.
AWNYAH TODAYSAY Ann living in the Republic of Ireland and it is not a good thing. We have now ratified the EU convention on the rights of people with disabilities, yet we failed in ratifying the optional protocol, allowing us ability to make complaints to the EU under the convention, with little facility to do so in our own country. We go unheard in every sense of the word. This is unjust and leaves us more vulnerable and open to abuses. We are suffering. I am suffering.
Tuesday, February 12, 2013
Wednesday, February 6, 2013
Let there be no misUnderstanding
perception, interpretation, assumptions, or concepts.
words, all very very loaded indeed.
but i have one word today - there is no misunderstanding about what has happened me with our wonderful HSE.
the battle, Oh mother of God the battle royal with this crowd and its been one thing after another for the past year, a full year and no resolution.
well not just millions of battles actually, just two, with a few capillary entries, but to get these sorted has taken millions of by ways and cul de sacs and no roads at all!
It isn't sorted.
Not by a long mile.
Lets not forget da famous bath!
My famous bath but to the HSE its Theirs, and theirs alone, and my house, is theirs and theirs alone until after just under a year, yep, that bath firmly belongs to the owner - me, or does it?
well as soon as the battle to win this bath is over, i had the clip board bearing woman asking me for her signature to make sure i never asked for anything more of the HSE when it came to bathrooms. Not on your nelly are they getting a signature of mine after all the grief they put me in.
but still the bath is mine and here to stay, thanks be to God above.
but when the Occupational Therapist uses the builder as her secretary to get him to tell me She would be here yesterday to work up the dimensions of the bathroom space, we find that the HSE still do not get it, that is who actually owns this house!
Not the builder, not the HSE but me here and it was to Me or I here, she should have asked was it ok to come yesterday, was i doing anything else or could we make this arrangement to come er, yesterday?
instead of telling the builder to tell me she was coming so there be it.
well, i still wasn't sure, cos etiquette for me was she inform me and she didn't so i had it in mind that i didn/t know, really didn't.
when she came i was surprised and told her so. 'Well didn't you know, i told the builder to tell you i was coming!'
and when i saw her with the clipboard standing on the pavement at the end of my front garden with the builder and me at the hall door, i remarked that any chatting about my home would be done here, hey here, here is the home you are to be chatting about with ME!
they came.
and they discussed the bathroom dimensions, amongst other things.
but then the Occupational therapist turned to the builder and informed him 'John, grey tiles on the floor; Heh? i said, 'huh, grey tiles? NO miss OT, ann doesn't do grey tiles (she doesn't do grey or black but colour see), "well it was to hide the dirt" i remarked' "that is my dirt, and i don't do grey and you don't do interior design you do 'health and safety etc, but not dirt and my dirt nor interior design, that's up to the owner, who is me, standing here, see?' I think she got the message.
outside we had to discuss the ramp.
well, soon it was apparent that it was the OT and the builder discussing it while i stood by.
then after the discussing was over, i heard the OT say, 'well, John, are we happy then!?' with much glee.
I remarked as is my style, 'are we happy?' and shot daggers at the OT.
'yep, ann is happy!'
and off they went.
seething with anger at the intrusion of the HSE constantly in my life in this way i told the builder John, 'i don't like these people.'
'I think i got that message alright ann'
i was allowed to giggle then, loud and clear.
All not over with the HSE today, that is the day after the day before.
a meeting was to be held to 'resolve issues' between the HSE and myself.'
so i thought.
the meeting date was stamped and i was asked to let them know if there was anyone i would like to attend.
there was. two individuals who cared for me in the last county and who would be able to enlighten the new area how they found me and engaged with me...character reference as this was a sort of issue down here.
I was told that these people would not be allowed attend!
so we now have the HSE again telling me, exactly as before, just telling me that no, actually the "hse won't allow that,' just like the Hse wouldn't allow me keep the bath.
I then tell the same bloody awful power hungry HSE that the meeting was officially OFF.
i wasn't going to have this consistency of disrespect and bossy and power driven maniacal behaviour of the HSE over a sickie.
when the HSE tell me and my twin that 'we have to move on' that is get over some very very dangerous statements made down here with no sanctions against the person who said it, then no, actually we do not move on.
we move on when there has been a resolution and the person brought to task for doing what she did to me, only then do 'we move on!'
the HSE still do not get it, but actually i think they do get it, they do, what they don't want to do is actually lose face, do something they should have done long ago and for which they will not do.
so, we have no meeting until the HSE fully understands the seriousness of the issues involved and until the HSE is fully committed to the process of righting the wrong doing against me and also committed to 'equality' for which they have no idea whatsoever about in any shape or form.
and only then do we have a level playing field.
the HSE must be made aware, that disabled i am and will be but in order to feel that they get respect from a sickie then they must equally show the same to me, an individual who, if it wasn't for me and many like us they would be out of a job!
that, my friends they would not like.
but what i do do like, the way is being paved to er, 'disband the HSE' because its got too big for its boots, yes, really. far too big and too unmanageable.
I also hear that the local area home help service is being taken over by a private concern.
there are theories as to why.
i ask another, is it because the department of health will no longer be responsible, as in accountable, and as its a private concern, the wages will then be lowered as we have public sector wage agreements not the same as private sector.
i say if the private sector can offer less pay does this mean too that less paid workers who are less qualified will be asked to fill these jobs and give a less than perfect service.
i think the person to whom i made these comments to was in agreement, 'put it like that, yes.'
remember, the Department of health is over health and commercial outsourcing should never be entertained as it opens the way for abuse.
we have enough of that already.
who will watch over the private firms who work now for us, the sick and less able?
the Department of Health do not want to.
its called 'cost saving enterprise.'
oh, and the public sector are up in arms about cutting wages now we are in recessionary times. they threaten strike action.
not one disabled person had any say whatsoever in the massive cuts to our care and services in the last budget.
we had to take it on the chin and suffer, ah but not so our public servants!
they wont stand for it.
this myself is the great divide!
words, all very very loaded indeed.
but i have one word today - there is no misunderstanding about what has happened me with our wonderful HSE.
the battle, Oh mother of God the battle royal with this crowd and its been one thing after another for the past year, a full year and no resolution.
well not just millions of battles actually, just two, with a few capillary entries, but to get these sorted has taken millions of by ways and cul de sacs and no roads at all!
It isn't sorted.
Not by a long mile.
Lets not forget da famous bath!
My famous bath but to the HSE its Theirs, and theirs alone, and my house, is theirs and theirs alone until after just under a year, yep, that bath firmly belongs to the owner - me, or does it?
well as soon as the battle to win this bath is over, i had the clip board bearing woman asking me for her signature to make sure i never asked for anything more of the HSE when it came to bathrooms. Not on your nelly are they getting a signature of mine after all the grief they put me in.
but still the bath is mine and here to stay, thanks be to God above.
but when the Occupational Therapist uses the builder as her secretary to get him to tell me She would be here yesterday to work up the dimensions of the bathroom space, we find that the HSE still do not get it, that is who actually owns this house!
Not the builder, not the HSE but me here and it was to Me or I here, she should have asked was it ok to come yesterday, was i doing anything else or could we make this arrangement to come er, yesterday?
instead of telling the builder to tell me she was coming so there be it.
well, i still wasn't sure, cos etiquette for me was she inform me and she didn't so i had it in mind that i didn/t know, really didn't.
when she came i was surprised and told her so. 'Well didn't you know, i told the builder to tell you i was coming!'
and when i saw her with the clipboard standing on the pavement at the end of my front garden with the builder and me at the hall door, i remarked that any chatting about my home would be done here, hey here, here is the home you are to be chatting about with ME!
they came.
and they discussed the bathroom dimensions, amongst other things.
but then the Occupational therapist turned to the builder and informed him 'John, grey tiles on the floor; Heh? i said, 'huh, grey tiles? NO miss OT, ann doesn't do grey tiles (she doesn't do grey or black but colour see), "well it was to hide the dirt" i remarked' "that is my dirt, and i don't do grey and you don't do interior design you do 'health and safety etc, but not dirt and my dirt nor interior design, that's up to the owner, who is me, standing here, see?' I think she got the message.
outside we had to discuss the ramp.
well, soon it was apparent that it was the OT and the builder discussing it while i stood by.
then after the discussing was over, i heard the OT say, 'well, John, are we happy then!?' with much glee.
I remarked as is my style, 'are we happy?' and shot daggers at the OT.
'yep, ann is happy!'
and off they went.
seething with anger at the intrusion of the HSE constantly in my life in this way i told the builder John, 'i don't like these people.'
'I think i got that message alright ann'
i was allowed to giggle then, loud and clear.
All not over with the HSE today, that is the day after the day before.
a meeting was to be held to 'resolve issues' between the HSE and myself.'
so i thought.
the meeting date was stamped and i was asked to let them know if there was anyone i would like to attend.
there was. two individuals who cared for me in the last county and who would be able to enlighten the new area how they found me and engaged with me...character reference as this was a sort of issue down here.
I was told that these people would not be allowed attend!
so we now have the HSE again telling me, exactly as before, just telling me that no, actually the "hse won't allow that,' just like the Hse wouldn't allow me keep the bath.
I then tell the same bloody awful power hungry HSE that the meeting was officially OFF.
i wasn't going to have this consistency of disrespect and bossy and power driven maniacal behaviour of the HSE over a sickie.
when the HSE tell me and my twin that 'we have to move on' that is get over some very very dangerous statements made down here with no sanctions against the person who said it, then no, actually we do not move on.
we move on when there has been a resolution and the person brought to task for doing what she did to me, only then do 'we move on!'
the HSE still do not get it, but actually i think they do get it, they do, what they don't want to do is actually lose face, do something they should have done long ago and for which they will not do.
so, we have no meeting until the HSE fully understands the seriousness of the issues involved and until the HSE is fully committed to the process of righting the wrong doing against me and also committed to 'equality' for which they have no idea whatsoever about in any shape or form.
and only then do we have a level playing field.
the HSE must be made aware, that disabled i am and will be but in order to feel that they get respect from a sickie then they must equally show the same to me, an individual who, if it wasn't for me and many like us they would be out of a job!
that, my friends they would not like.
but what i do do like, the way is being paved to er, 'disband the HSE' because its got too big for its boots, yes, really. far too big and too unmanageable.
I also hear that the local area home help service is being taken over by a private concern.
there are theories as to why.
i ask another, is it because the department of health will no longer be responsible, as in accountable, and as its a private concern, the wages will then be lowered as we have public sector wage agreements not the same as private sector.
i say if the private sector can offer less pay does this mean too that less paid workers who are less qualified will be asked to fill these jobs and give a less than perfect service.
i think the person to whom i made these comments to was in agreement, 'put it like that, yes.'
remember, the Department of health is over health and commercial outsourcing should never be entertained as it opens the way for abuse.
we have enough of that already.
who will watch over the private firms who work now for us, the sick and less able?
the Department of Health do not want to.
its called 'cost saving enterprise.'
oh, and the public sector are up in arms about cutting wages now we are in recessionary times. they threaten strike action.
not one disabled person had any say whatsoever in the massive cuts to our care and services in the last budget.
we had to take it on the chin and suffer, ah but not so our public servants!
they wont stand for it.
this myself is the great divide!
Thursday, January 24, 2013
Symbols for hard rock institutions
ah but dont we have em!
the HSE and the RC.
my distrust of these two are self evident.
the ways now of economic driven meanness in the face of sickness and disability, just visited upon us as if we had not enough to contend with.
when a battle for months saw a type of resolution yesterday am i to celebrate an event or change of thinking when it should not have changed in the first place.
I would like you to have seen the charade today in my 'pad.'
the clipboard holders of the HSE officials, the door bell rings, the hands extended, the teeth of youth and the broad brim smiles of one (i never met) and the other a conservative gesture to a summons from a higher official.
upon that summons the two land on my doorstep just 24hrs later.
they shouldn't be here in the first place.
My bath is saved, my building works are to continue on monday.
we fought my friends for months over a bleeding bath.
Of course they argued that it wasn't about money that i should have a whack of a wetroom.
but it was and i know so and knew so.
the two sat down, and one on the wide arm of the sofa had a clip board pressed to her knees.
"you had said a long time ago, that you would sign to say that you would not come back for more"
if that was a gesture of finance over health well take it or leave it.
I explained wryly, Gail, the HSE has now made me pay for your mistake and i am in further debt from what your boss has demanded of me, for my home, MY HOME.
i said no more, i mentioned no signature but gave the impression strong, of how dare you ask for a very very valuable signature when i was still sitting in a home a year later which has carpets down belonging to a dead woman of 97yrs old and i need so badly to have it shaped up for a 60yr old.
Meanwhile the twin has her home all done and gorgeous, right and proper and so should mine.
the battle kept it undone and nearly lost me my adaptation grant funding.
HSE interference on a grand scale, an admittance of 'we do not want you coming back for more.'
admittance that the person who demanded i reshape a home say 'i hope it wasn't one of my staff' actually it was, and she was saying the same today.
they just never learn,
so while i sat down i watched two women with the measuring tapes tape up the shape of my bathroom for the upteenth time,
they ask me to ask the builder to get in touch.
no i wouldnt allow you speak to anyone before you spoke to me!
yes, you can now speak with the builder.
the HSE, shambolic symbol of inadequacy and cruelty, a supposed body for administering to the sick, ill and feeble.
we dealt with another shambolic symbolic conglomerate yesterday, we dealt with the RC.
yep after 11yrs a settlement consult was put in place within the sanctum of the Four Courts.
Eleven years of hell and after this an insult toss across the barrier rooms of two, on two sides a solicitor and barrister.
i came away with an insult which shocked both my team leaders of barrister and solicitor.
what i do now i do not know.
i do not have to 'take it on the chin' or say to self 'be strong'
i say to most and the others that this world contains people whose only greed and need is adulation, penetration and power. there isn't much more one can say about men who dress up in garb and swanny around and kiss rings and then go on to abuse.
it isn't religion and least of all is it christianity. how many have read this bible passed down through millenia. what has the good carpenter's son actually said "go out and form colonies of men in gold and silk with garments of symbols and status, or 'go forth and do good and do no harm. ' the church today is so divorced from the simple message it beggars belief.
to believe in men with the wee little caps and their capes is nonsensical both in a society that has changed since the renaissance when all this rubbish was embellished, the world is now round and not flat, and people have landed on the moon which isn't made of cheese.
we are a scientific ordered society of chaotic humans, we do need the message for we have lost it in our development but we absolutely do not need men in their black frocks and gold garb.
dispair at the insult would be what i would call my reaction of callous masters of the faith.
they shall never master over me.
never.
one cannot place the hse in the same bracket for their harm has been by default.
what i say of the HSE they need to move with the times, see individuals with disabilities firstly as individuals who still have brains, who still function and who still can make decisions over their own lives.
the sooner the HSE is out of my life the better.
what i need in abundance is - Family and Friends.
and that is not asking much.
amen.
the HSE and the RC.
my distrust of these two are self evident.
the ways now of economic driven meanness in the face of sickness and disability, just visited upon us as if we had not enough to contend with.
when a battle for months saw a type of resolution yesterday am i to celebrate an event or change of thinking when it should not have changed in the first place.
I would like you to have seen the charade today in my 'pad.'
the clipboard holders of the HSE officials, the door bell rings, the hands extended, the teeth of youth and the broad brim smiles of one (i never met) and the other a conservative gesture to a summons from a higher official.
upon that summons the two land on my doorstep just 24hrs later.
they shouldn't be here in the first place.
My bath is saved, my building works are to continue on monday.
we fought my friends for months over a bleeding bath.
Of course they argued that it wasn't about money that i should have a whack of a wetroom.
but it was and i know so and knew so.
the two sat down, and one on the wide arm of the sofa had a clip board pressed to her knees.
"you had said a long time ago, that you would sign to say that you would not come back for more"
if that was a gesture of finance over health well take it or leave it.
I explained wryly, Gail, the HSE has now made me pay for your mistake and i am in further debt from what your boss has demanded of me, for my home, MY HOME.
i said no more, i mentioned no signature but gave the impression strong, of how dare you ask for a very very valuable signature when i was still sitting in a home a year later which has carpets down belonging to a dead woman of 97yrs old and i need so badly to have it shaped up for a 60yr old.
Meanwhile the twin has her home all done and gorgeous, right and proper and so should mine.
the battle kept it undone and nearly lost me my adaptation grant funding.
HSE interference on a grand scale, an admittance of 'we do not want you coming back for more.'
admittance that the person who demanded i reshape a home say 'i hope it wasn't one of my staff' actually it was, and she was saying the same today.
they just never learn,
so while i sat down i watched two women with the measuring tapes tape up the shape of my bathroom for the upteenth time,
they ask me to ask the builder to get in touch.
no i wouldnt allow you speak to anyone before you spoke to me!
yes, you can now speak with the builder.
the HSE, shambolic symbol of inadequacy and cruelty, a supposed body for administering to the sick, ill and feeble.
we dealt with another shambolic symbolic conglomerate yesterday, we dealt with the RC.
yep after 11yrs a settlement consult was put in place within the sanctum of the Four Courts.
Eleven years of hell and after this an insult toss across the barrier rooms of two, on two sides a solicitor and barrister.
i came away with an insult which shocked both my team leaders of barrister and solicitor.
what i do now i do not know.
i do not have to 'take it on the chin' or say to self 'be strong'
i say to most and the others that this world contains people whose only greed and need is adulation, penetration and power. there isn't much more one can say about men who dress up in garb and swanny around and kiss rings and then go on to abuse.
it isn't religion and least of all is it christianity. how many have read this bible passed down through millenia. what has the good carpenter's son actually said "go out and form colonies of men in gold and silk with garments of symbols and status, or 'go forth and do good and do no harm. ' the church today is so divorced from the simple message it beggars belief.
to believe in men with the wee little caps and their capes is nonsensical both in a society that has changed since the renaissance when all this rubbish was embellished, the world is now round and not flat, and people have landed on the moon which isn't made of cheese.
we are a scientific ordered society of chaotic humans, we do need the message for we have lost it in our development but we absolutely do not need men in their black frocks and gold garb.
dispair at the insult would be what i would call my reaction of callous masters of the faith.
they shall never master over me.
never.
one cannot place the hse in the same bracket for their harm has been by default.
what i say of the HSE they need to move with the times, see individuals with disabilities firstly as individuals who still have brains, who still function and who still can make decisions over their own lives.
the sooner the HSE is out of my life the better.
what i need in abundance is - Family and Friends.
and that is not asking much.
amen.
Monday, January 21, 2013
to name a county - its Wicklow Ireland
--when one is dealing with our famous HSE (Health Service Executive, which is to be disbanded, sooner i hope than later) this county is not much better and could be worse than the rest of Ireland.
How do i know?
it doesn't take imagination for sure.
they wreck lives and are wrecking mine and interfering on a grand scale.
they are also wrecking my head for months on end, day after day after day.
I spend most of my days, on the phone trying to get a Health service Executive to even answer the phone.
that is before i get to a person who actually will speak to me rather than her secretary.
I am so used to the constant put-downs.
-and the excuses
-and the absences.
we have ABSENCE.
As in HSE execs not turning up for work.
the complaint i have with the HSE in the Wicklow area is i am being forced to have a 'wetroom' in a tiny home, yet i am not allowed my say, not allowed have my home to myself without interference from the state.
I am a private individual who bought a private home and i also have my brain intact to make decisions, not have them made for me - against my will. This is happening - against my will.
the person who demands this is on 'sick leave' - extended.
the person above her, apparently is only an admin officer who through her secretary tells me another person is dealing with my complaint.
that person is standing in for yet another HSE official who has taken leave, i am unsure if that too is a 'sickie'
when i manage to get a social worker, the senior one in wicklow she tells me she is not my social worker, even though she sat in in my team meeting, but no she is with the section which deals with elder abuse and older people
to which i aptly respond that i am being abused - by her crowd, the Health service executive.
now she tells me i should really be talking to the line managers and when i ask who hers is she tells me she too is out on sick leave!
it doesn't leave many managers left to manage anything, does it, eh?
we have been trying to have a meeting set up with the area HSE for months now, but they all seem hopeless and helpless and pass on the tail and thats not a typo, from one animal to the next, remember that game as a child, 'put the tail on the donkey?'
thats pretty much how the HSE works.
this meeting to discuss amongst other matters, a bath.
imagine in a country that has major issues to contend with we are trying to set up a meeting about a bath and we have not managed to get a person to arrange this and most are out sick anyway. Very unhealthy health service executive workers indeed!
so the person taking over from the person trying to organise this meeting tells me today that she will go ahead and arrange a meeting anyway, i guess with anyone that is left in the HSE to sit by proxy, but i say to her in Holy Ireland what junior would go against the area manager when it concerned a bath?
none because the area manager would make life hell on earth for the juniors if that did happen.
mother of god i am about to crack up.
no decisions mean it looks like a wet-room will be installed against my will and need in a TINY home, yet my twin with the same disability but with Dr. in front of her name has not been asked or made, actually made, have a wet room in one of her TWO bathrooms.
i cannot afford this space to be taken up.
do you think anyone in Ireland would sort this?
the junior minister for health and her private secretary is in Europe as i type as we hold the presidency of the EU.
well my twin remarked to her department, what the hell are the ministers organizing europe for the period when they couldn't even organize one tiny bathroom!
Please someone get rid of this shower and throw them in some tub somewhere and let it float down the danube or rhine, i don't want these messers in my Health Service Executive.
I actually don't want the HSE in my life and as they say -period.
we have a barmy way of sorting things.
is there anyone with clout reading this, would you please pick up the phone and address my issue of the bath.
if angela merkel reads this or her secretary will she please ask her to ring the Minister for health's office and sort the bath for a woman who once cleaned the bedrooms of the guests in the Hotel international Koln when she was a student.
at least that much i can be afforded after working very very hard in the toilets and bedrooms of very posh guests to her state, including Mick Jagger and diana ross and many others who graced her land.
How do i know?
it doesn't take imagination for sure.
they wreck lives and are wrecking mine and interfering on a grand scale.
they are also wrecking my head for months on end, day after day after day.
I spend most of my days, on the phone trying to get a Health service Executive to even answer the phone.
that is before i get to a person who actually will speak to me rather than her secretary.
I am so used to the constant put-downs.
-and the excuses
-and the absences.
we have ABSENCE.
As in HSE execs not turning up for work.
the complaint i have with the HSE in the Wicklow area is i am being forced to have a 'wetroom' in a tiny home, yet i am not allowed my say, not allowed have my home to myself without interference from the state.
I am a private individual who bought a private home and i also have my brain intact to make decisions, not have them made for me - against my will. This is happening - against my will.
the person who demands this is on 'sick leave' - extended.
the person above her, apparently is only an admin officer who through her secretary tells me another person is dealing with my complaint.
that person is standing in for yet another HSE official who has taken leave, i am unsure if that too is a 'sickie'
when i manage to get a social worker, the senior one in wicklow she tells me she is not my social worker, even though she sat in in my team meeting, but no she is with the section which deals with elder abuse and older people
to which i aptly respond that i am being abused - by her crowd, the Health service executive.
now she tells me i should really be talking to the line managers and when i ask who hers is she tells me she too is out on sick leave!
it doesn't leave many managers left to manage anything, does it, eh?
we have been trying to have a meeting set up with the area HSE for months now, but they all seem hopeless and helpless and pass on the tail and thats not a typo, from one animal to the next, remember that game as a child, 'put the tail on the donkey?'
thats pretty much how the HSE works.
this meeting to discuss amongst other matters, a bath.
imagine in a country that has major issues to contend with we are trying to set up a meeting about a bath and we have not managed to get a person to arrange this and most are out sick anyway. Very unhealthy health service executive workers indeed!
so the person taking over from the person trying to organise this meeting tells me today that she will go ahead and arrange a meeting anyway, i guess with anyone that is left in the HSE to sit by proxy, but i say to her in Holy Ireland what junior would go against the area manager when it concerned a bath?
none because the area manager would make life hell on earth for the juniors if that did happen.
mother of god i am about to crack up.
no decisions mean it looks like a wet-room will be installed against my will and need in a TINY home, yet my twin with the same disability but with Dr. in front of her name has not been asked or made, actually made, have a wet room in one of her TWO bathrooms.
i cannot afford this space to be taken up.
do you think anyone in Ireland would sort this?
the junior minister for health and her private secretary is in Europe as i type as we hold the presidency of the EU.
well my twin remarked to her department, what the hell are the ministers organizing europe for the period when they couldn't even organize one tiny bathroom!
Please someone get rid of this shower and throw them in some tub somewhere and let it float down the danube or rhine, i don't want these messers in my Health Service Executive.
I actually don't want the HSE in my life and as they say -period.
we have a barmy way of sorting things.
is there anyone with clout reading this, would you please pick up the phone and address my issue of the bath.
if angela merkel reads this or her secretary will she please ask her to ring the Minister for health's office and sort the bath for a woman who once cleaned the bedrooms of the guests in the Hotel international Koln when she was a student.
at least that much i can be afforded after working very very hard in the toilets and bedrooms of very posh guests to her state, including Mick Jagger and diana ross and many others who graced her land.
Thursday, January 17, 2013
cuttin' and pastin' a mighty fist!
PETITION: Stop the Irish Government assault on Disability Equality
To: The Irish Government
this is my twin's 'Dr Raging Wheels' petition on 'Causes' and i hope that i have done ok in this pasting up.
she wants us to campagn and rightly so.
ok then i am posting this up in support.
its agonising to be disabled in ireland and i think this is reflected across the world as each new year sees the disabled take the hits more than most.
we need to stop this international worldwide trend here on this small island.
the absurdity of life in ireland now for the disabled is being daily documented by us twins.
we have vowed to note down everything.
our conversations with the HSE personnel.
some of the weird things they say to us.
the things they promise,
the way they pass us off - dont answer the phone to them, fgs is pretty much the standard reply.
the ways they make excuses for professional conduct and yet willingly cut you to size if distress causes you to shout.
by the way, distress shouts are 'abusive' and 'i don't have to take this abuse.\
actually, the shouts we shout are er, distress.
if you wanna know about abuse, take a look at another page in irish history, the church, the magdelene laundaries and all the hse run places for children from which children fled and were never seen alive again.
the word abuse gets abused.
i am not a great friend of much but i hate, utterly hate THE HURT INFLICTED ON THE LEAST ABLE.
lets get them signatures in.
offa now to bed am i.
well, i am in the bed.
night mitz.
Wednesday, January 16, 2013
wet feet, mad brain, HSE
Yesterday i was taken to 'The Life of Pi' a wonderful film now on at Dundrum, thank you older sis and husband for making twin and i feel good about life.
a welcome respite from the more normalized terror and despair which is usual!
back to the real world after the lessons learnt at 'Life of Pi' that is, a take on 'endurance.'
I have not a problem with the concept of 'endurance' but i am now well past this concept and the reel of film is running backward and i am screaming out to the winds and rain and the Bengal Tiger!
what on earth did i deserve to be treated so badly?
Again more phone calls to the HSE, all ignored.
this is called my endurance and my lesson and whether it will have a good outcome i doubt it.
they have a policy which i think is mandatory, 'do not engage with the barbarics' that is the sick people and they are in charge of sick people, aka the health service exec - Occupational therapist managers, district nurses, and even the Senior social worker for older people - no less!
no. I have even been told they will not speak to me, answer phone calls, meet with me or have anything to do with me. I am seriously ill and very unwell and in a wheelchair!!
I went to the solicitor today after having this nonsense since last february.
Don't try your local Fine Gael office or the Independents or even the Minister for Health with special responsibility for Mental Health.
- the same department shaving off monies for physical health issues from the lesser funded mental health coffers.
I will tell Kathleen Lynch here she has a near suicidal woman on her books and both twin and i have been engaging with her department since forever it seems now.
No one answers phones, either in the Department, the local TD's, the local health centres nor the area managers office.
No one responds to complaints.
No one does - anything in Ireland.
we have answering machines, or 'she is in a meeting, can you leave a message?' (no i can't actually). if you do, don't expect a call back.
Its not only horse meat i want to put in the abbatoire at this point.
I have laid it square - if a wet-room is foisted upon this sick woman against her will, the gov will not see any of my money for the now legal property tax we are expected to pay. (they say anyway they are going to take it out of social welfare by force though, so that may not work), this isnt legal either i should think.
if anyone reconfigures my home against my will then its not my home and i do not own it.
if the HSE reconfigure it, then it is effectively seemingly theirs to do what they like with so they pay my property tax and all that this house requires, even maintaining it.
It has to be illegal for the Irish Department of Health to make a person put something in place into her private home - against her will.
It has to be morally wrong to make her do this without any discussion, ever meeting the person and ever answering the phone to the woman of the house.
they do not even answer phones to the disability advocate nor to the Disability Federation of Ireland or Centre for Independent Living! Our health service is not obliged to answer any person who is sick, never, or any person acting for a sick person.
when i say wet feet, this is another situation that is going on for years now.
no shoes because they withdrew the funding.
we are in the cold snap which comes in february and a wet patch, my feet were swimming in water as the present shoes have holes in them.
i have deformed feet unable to either afford shoes or even get them in an ordinary retail shop as both feet are completely different to each other in size and shape!
my feet were agony when i returned home cold and wet and frozen after a day out sorting stuff that never got sorted, all around health! i have raynauds and yes i had thermal socks on, but what good if i have no suitable footwear.
the wheelchair - yes, these are our permanent assistive aids, these ones that are reconstituted from ballyhaunis, no offense to ballyhaunis but try them, with a bad back and bone structure and fibromyalgia and all the rest, try them with generalised dystonia, if you don't have dystonia by the end of the day, you will have after clinging clamped in one of the HSE's cost cutting apparatus from victorian times. Also double the dose of morphine when you get home.
these are permanent for my twin and i.
On irish footpaths, try this one.
McEnroe 'you can't be serious?' WE ARE!
to be told by Age Action that a person they know with MS is expected to use one of these!
and they break down so easily.
also to hear from another lady today that her wheelchair user auntie is struggling with the HSE to get a bed!
this woman is living in one of the poorest areas in south county dublin ireland.
You simply cannot compare like with like, say Africa or even America or South America.
we do not claim to be any of these countries and had a totally different system and way of working our democracy and it wasn't this way - or was it?
or is it going to be now that we abandon those in sheltered accommodation to dying from hypothermia, to women who live alone to not being able to get out and about, no wheelchairs suitable and no support and doing what they like to a property the person buys because its cheaper for them, but not for the person who bought the property to escape danger which the hse effectively put me in.
we are now down the tubes but to do this so ruthlessly, to cut off people on the lower end of the scale for the greater good of those on the top is barbaric and the way they are treating people like me is equal to what we abhor, statzi regimes and societies that have no ideal of the concept called democracy.
do not get me started on the role of humanity and our status of being christian (i don't actually think i have to persuade you on this cos the church has shot itself anyway). we were never christian so that bit of whisper is out the window.
I am mad.
No one in their right mind could stay sane with this.
we deserve to be heard, to be reasonably accommodated and to get a good service for this is the brief the health service executive are supposed to follow and so too is our minister for health, Dr. Reilly, that healthy individual who tells us that we have a high standard of care and gonna get better and better and better woa watch it ireland, yes we broke but your health will not suffer!
mine is!
very much so.
Wetroom - no taxes
Wetroom - i will be heard and i will shame them.
wetroom - i will take them to court
but most of all Blogging is the new messenger now and i say it here.
we run a cruel unchristian ship.
we have become a cold nation, a ruthless regime, a careless regime where there is no rule, no accountability and every one is a pal of everyone else, within the cliques, so if you outside that circle you 'ain't one of us mate, so don't expect us to do anything for you.'
a regime of small country with professionals who cannot be professional who will not let their side down and will shore each other up no matter if the issues are wrong to hold to and shore up.
no nurse will go against nurse.
no Occupational therapist will go against another,
and no manager will go against another.
we have a system of 'you scratch my back and i will scratch yours.'
Phones? 'what do you mean phones?'
'what are they?'
"ah sure, we haven't invented them yet!'
' we are still learning to use the ones we have.'
next we shall find that the excuses will be they are cost cutting on phone usage and i shall suggest the 'carrier pigeon' to try and run our regime of a bygone age.
Baaah i dont like this country.
i walked a tweedledum tweedledee day for sure.
On returning home with stone cold feet i discover i have no fire lighters.
my language was choice.
i had to go out in my holy shoes and get the stuff that ignites fire, as i was too tired to rub sticks.
a welcome respite from the more normalized terror and despair which is usual!
back to the real world after the lessons learnt at 'Life of Pi' that is, a take on 'endurance.'
I have not a problem with the concept of 'endurance' but i am now well past this concept and the reel of film is running backward and i am screaming out to the winds and rain and the Bengal Tiger!
what on earth did i deserve to be treated so badly?
Again more phone calls to the HSE, all ignored.
this is called my endurance and my lesson and whether it will have a good outcome i doubt it.
they have a policy which i think is mandatory, 'do not engage with the barbarics' that is the sick people and they are in charge of sick people, aka the health service exec - Occupational therapist managers, district nurses, and even the Senior social worker for older people - no less!
no. I have even been told they will not speak to me, answer phone calls, meet with me or have anything to do with me. I am seriously ill and very unwell and in a wheelchair!!
I went to the solicitor today after having this nonsense since last february.
Don't try your local Fine Gael office or the Independents or even the Minister for Health with special responsibility for Mental Health.
- the same department shaving off monies for physical health issues from the lesser funded mental health coffers.
I will tell Kathleen Lynch here she has a near suicidal woman on her books and both twin and i have been engaging with her department since forever it seems now.
No one answers phones, either in the Department, the local TD's, the local health centres nor the area managers office.
No one responds to complaints.
No one does - anything in Ireland.
we have answering machines, or 'she is in a meeting, can you leave a message?' (no i can't actually). if you do, don't expect a call back.
Its not only horse meat i want to put in the abbatoire at this point.
I have laid it square - if a wet-room is foisted upon this sick woman against her will, the gov will not see any of my money for the now legal property tax we are expected to pay. (they say anyway they are going to take it out of social welfare by force though, so that may not work), this isnt legal either i should think.
if anyone reconfigures my home against my will then its not my home and i do not own it.
if the HSE reconfigure it, then it is effectively seemingly theirs to do what they like with so they pay my property tax and all that this house requires, even maintaining it.
It has to be illegal for the Irish Department of Health to make a person put something in place into her private home - against her will.
It has to be morally wrong to make her do this without any discussion, ever meeting the person and ever answering the phone to the woman of the house.
they do not even answer phones to the disability advocate nor to the Disability Federation of Ireland or Centre for Independent Living! Our health service is not obliged to answer any person who is sick, never, or any person acting for a sick person.
when i say wet feet, this is another situation that is going on for years now.
no shoes because they withdrew the funding.
we are in the cold snap which comes in february and a wet patch, my feet were swimming in water as the present shoes have holes in them.
i have deformed feet unable to either afford shoes or even get them in an ordinary retail shop as both feet are completely different to each other in size and shape!
my feet were agony when i returned home cold and wet and frozen after a day out sorting stuff that never got sorted, all around health! i have raynauds and yes i had thermal socks on, but what good if i have no suitable footwear.
the wheelchair - yes, these are our permanent assistive aids, these ones that are reconstituted from ballyhaunis, no offense to ballyhaunis but try them, with a bad back and bone structure and fibromyalgia and all the rest, try them with generalised dystonia, if you don't have dystonia by the end of the day, you will have after clinging clamped in one of the HSE's cost cutting apparatus from victorian times. Also double the dose of morphine when you get home.
these are permanent for my twin and i.
On irish footpaths, try this one.
McEnroe 'you can't be serious?' WE ARE!
to be told by Age Action that a person they know with MS is expected to use one of these!
and they break down so easily.
also to hear from another lady today that her wheelchair user auntie is struggling with the HSE to get a bed!
this woman is living in one of the poorest areas in south county dublin ireland.
You simply cannot compare like with like, say Africa or even America or South America.
we do not claim to be any of these countries and had a totally different system and way of working our democracy and it wasn't this way - or was it?
or is it going to be now that we abandon those in sheltered accommodation to dying from hypothermia, to women who live alone to not being able to get out and about, no wheelchairs suitable and no support and doing what they like to a property the person buys because its cheaper for them, but not for the person who bought the property to escape danger which the hse effectively put me in.
we are now down the tubes but to do this so ruthlessly, to cut off people on the lower end of the scale for the greater good of those on the top is barbaric and the way they are treating people like me is equal to what we abhor, statzi regimes and societies that have no ideal of the concept called democracy.
do not get me started on the role of humanity and our status of being christian (i don't actually think i have to persuade you on this cos the church has shot itself anyway). we were never christian so that bit of whisper is out the window.
I am mad.
No one in their right mind could stay sane with this.
we deserve to be heard, to be reasonably accommodated and to get a good service for this is the brief the health service executive are supposed to follow and so too is our minister for health, Dr. Reilly, that healthy individual who tells us that we have a high standard of care and gonna get better and better and better woa watch it ireland, yes we broke but your health will not suffer!
mine is!
very much so.
Wetroom - no taxes
Wetroom - i will be heard and i will shame them.
wetroom - i will take them to court
but most of all Blogging is the new messenger now and i say it here.
we run a cruel unchristian ship.
we have become a cold nation, a ruthless regime, a careless regime where there is no rule, no accountability and every one is a pal of everyone else, within the cliques, so if you outside that circle you 'ain't one of us mate, so don't expect us to do anything for you.'
a regime of small country with professionals who cannot be professional who will not let their side down and will shore each other up no matter if the issues are wrong to hold to and shore up.
no nurse will go against nurse.
no Occupational therapist will go against another,
and no manager will go against another.
we have a system of 'you scratch my back and i will scratch yours.'
Phones? 'what do you mean phones?'
'what are they?'
"ah sure, we haven't invented them yet!'
' we are still learning to use the ones we have.'
next we shall find that the excuses will be they are cost cutting on phone usage and i shall suggest the 'carrier pigeon' to try and run our regime of a bygone age.
Baaah i dont like this country.
i walked a tweedledum tweedledee day for sure.
On returning home with stone cold feet i discover i have no fire lighters.
my language was choice.
i had to go out in my holy shoes and get the stuff that ignites fire, as i was too tired to rub sticks.
Monday, January 14, 2013
what does being the opposite to powerful, penniless and without crediblity actually mean?
this is a serious question and i wonder does it take getting to elder years to realise that if you are NOT powerful as in being able to use power, if you are not wealthy, that is being unable to afford what you need and if you are have achieved no credibility, that is a far poorer education and being in the psychiatric system for instance then life is pretty much the worst it can be or ever be.
In the modern world, so to speak.
MODERN means to achieve power, wealth and cred, ask all the youngsters this and ask if this is so?
It is, and for a relatively modern woman, being none of these brings torturous days, every day, twenty four seven without a single let up.
Also having none of these plays havoc on relationships, for being thus means you are not spoken to, not invited to things, not considered and the only answer to a person with no cred, no money and no power ending up disabled means - go into sheltered accommodation.
So power means to me, that our HSE in its powerful status (thankfully on its way out as being seen as dangerously powerful) dictate that someone they have never met, someone who may never be the way they 'think' she will be MUST have a 'wet room' and she will, because the HSE demand it and the HSE will never meet her to discuss this issue for the Power says, you will have it, we will discuss this no further.
No discussion, no meeting, refusal to discuss a home that this woman bought with her own money and for which the Irish gov will soon ask for the first installment of the Property tax.
I ask you, when the HSE a government body reconfigures your home, is it YOUR home or is it that of the HSE? because this was done without any say in the matter by the owner.
A fact of being penniless too means you are treated with distain and contempt.
An adaptation grant to facilitiate this 'bloody' wet room has been given.
yet what has been given wouldn't secure a home for a disabled person per se given that a wheelchair will be used within the walls.
You need to pay a bit more for the upgrade but what if all the builders giving an estimation are way over what the woman can afford?
again the answers remain as being the same tactic as that of the HSE, 'I am not going to have you tell me what contractors i am using and i am not putting in expensive windows into this adaptation!'
now this is the wording from the builder to which i have asked to build for a fee, a considerable fee and a fee when the country is on its knees in economic depression and he should be grateful he has been given this project.
but he isn't going to use it to better you the poor, powerless, distainful degenerate of a single disabled woman without support!
THAT grant money is MINE ALL MINE he will be saying and she can have what shit i chose to put into her property build!
well this is how it is looking more and more.
what if this woman cannot afford a 'project manager' that is, to keep the builder within budget, using good materials and getting the job done with skill and with cred....'
the woman then finds herself in the torturous position of begging for free aid, as in the court for the criminal.
this is what i feel, this woman says.
shit.
getting shit from the hse
getting shit from the builder
and pretty much accepting shit all along and all through my life.
Lets see about Credibility - do i have any?
well, no!
why, well you are Shit see as in SHIT.
you have been in the mental health system (in ireland) and my friends the distinction is that in Ireland we locked up just about everyone in the 50's with a 'sniff' of difference and this continues in many respects.
WE, the irish have a funny disrespect for the species of human that they dont approve of, and i tick all the boxes on that one, apparently.
I am also shit because i dont have staff, am not a director, i do not have a third level education, am not a doctor nor teacher nor nothin.'
What i am is shit.
it doesn't really matter that i also am deaf, have asperger and actually did darn well given the cards dealt with.
this is not considered in a world obsessed with Power, Wealth and CRED. (and greed).
what have i given to the world they ask, looking down their own hairy noses.
I say what i feel i have given and i hope that many will also feel the same.
Love to the least able, and the love i gave was by giving what i could.
what i could is, Time (no money involved) engagement as in communication, time (no money needed)
skills, driving the sick and least able to doctors appointments and supporting them, which is not expensive and doesn't require a great deal of third level education. It requires Love.
what else...i engaged with some doctors for some very seriously ill people...i, being more educated then them and saner in some cases, but what i gave was a skill, not requiring power or money or cred.
I saved a life! and i am pretty proud of this fact.
how, a paranoid schizophrenic was suicidal but who did he chose to ring..you have it in one..me, who contained him until he was better and better enough to thank me.
so better that he isn't living on a balconied apartment that he signed without seeing (pretty much like my OT who signed without seeing), and he was grateful for he told me.
"i am on a balcony! the first time i am suicidal again, its over and out mr."
and thats what he saw and i saw.
he was then accepted into a far better environment of a nursing home and he was actually grateful for the stresses in his life to be much lifted and he being elevated to level comfort - for a change!
what can i do against power and the wealthy and the credible.
what i say to them...how many can say that they went the mile in the moccassin of the least able.
those who pissed on your doorstep and yet you drove them to safety and returned to get their home cleaned out in order for them to come back to a better state (this did take money)!
anyone straight out of hospital who immediately goes to another sick person to help her in a difficult situation is someone who has cred.
the difficult situation was dealt with and well.
but now being least able, penniless, considered shit i am receiving this, SHIT.
contempt, rudeness, being stomped upon despite overcoming so much and all the time trying more to overcome.
the barriers in my skills of communication that keep me isolated alone, friendless in a sea of people due to asperger syndrome.
people do terrible things to people.
Irish people, men and women do dreadful things to their fellow humans.
the HSE should be disbanded.
Grants should not be dished out without being overseen as these grants are given to vulnerable people, not all of whom have family support or partners.
Leaving situations so tangled is the art of the wealthy and powerful. (and the Irish)!
they have not a balls idea of how it works on the ground.
who suffers.
the least able.
but if they walked that friggin mile in the fecking mocassins of the flipping disabled and vulnerably insanely poor and powerless with no cred maybe we would all be able to live, with some decency and some respect.
Living is not for the faint hearted, and talking of mocassins, the arrows of darts and pain fly true to the person who can least deal with the flight of the clipped feather and poisoned tips.
who knows this after a lifetime - I do.
and no, it wasnt a contractual agreement either.
In the modern world, so to speak.
MODERN means to achieve power, wealth and cred, ask all the youngsters this and ask if this is so?
It is, and for a relatively modern woman, being none of these brings torturous days, every day, twenty four seven without a single let up.
Also having none of these plays havoc on relationships, for being thus means you are not spoken to, not invited to things, not considered and the only answer to a person with no cred, no money and no power ending up disabled means - go into sheltered accommodation.
So power means to me, that our HSE in its powerful status (thankfully on its way out as being seen as dangerously powerful) dictate that someone they have never met, someone who may never be the way they 'think' she will be MUST have a 'wet room' and she will, because the HSE demand it and the HSE will never meet her to discuss this issue for the Power says, you will have it, we will discuss this no further.
No discussion, no meeting, refusal to discuss a home that this woman bought with her own money and for which the Irish gov will soon ask for the first installment of the Property tax.
I ask you, when the HSE a government body reconfigures your home, is it YOUR home or is it that of the HSE? because this was done without any say in the matter by the owner.
A fact of being penniless too means you are treated with distain and contempt.
An adaptation grant to facilitiate this 'bloody' wet room has been given.
yet what has been given wouldn't secure a home for a disabled person per se given that a wheelchair will be used within the walls.
You need to pay a bit more for the upgrade but what if all the builders giving an estimation are way over what the woman can afford?
again the answers remain as being the same tactic as that of the HSE, 'I am not going to have you tell me what contractors i am using and i am not putting in expensive windows into this adaptation!'
now this is the wording from the builder to which i have asked to build for a fee, a considerable fee and a fee when the country is on its knees in economic depression and he should be grateful he has been given this project.
but he isn't going to use it to better you the poor, powerless, distainful degenerate of a single disabled woman without support!
THAT grant money is MINE ALL MINE he will be saying and she can have what shit i chose to put into her property build!
well this is how it is looking more and more.
what if this woman cannot afford a 'project manager' that is, to keep the builder within budget, using good materials and getting the job done with skill and with cred....'
the woman then finds herself in the torturous position of begging for free aid, as in the court for the criminal.
this is what i feel, this woman says.
shit.
getting shit from the hse
getting shit from the builder
and pretty much accepting shit all along and all through my life.
Lets see about Credibility - do i have any?
well, no!
why, well you are Shit see as in SHIT.
you have been in the mental health system (in ireland) and my friends the distinction is that in Ireland we locked up just about everyone in the 50's with a 'sniff' of difference and this continues in many respects.
WE, the irish have a funny disrespect for the species of human that they dont approve of, and i tick all the boxes on that one, apparently.
I am also shit because i dont have staff, am not a director, i do not have a third level education, am not a doctor nor teacher nor nothin.'
What i am is shit.
it doesn't really matter that i also am deaf, have asperger and actually did darn well given the cards dealt with.
this is not considered in a world obsessed with Power, Wealth and CRED. (and greed).
what have i given to the world they ask, looking down their own hairy noses.
I say what i feel i have given and i hope that many will also feel the same.
Love to the least able, and the love i gave was by giving what i could.
what i could is, Time (no money involved) engagement as in communication, time (no money needed)
skills, driving the sick and least able to doctors appointments and supporting them, which is not expensive and doesn't require a great deal of third level education. It requires Love.
what else...i engaged with some doctors for some very seriously ill people...i, being more educated then them and saner in some cases, but what i gave was a skill, not requiring power or money or cred.
I saved a life! and i am pretty proud of this fact.
how, a paranoid schizophrenic was suicidal but who did he chose to ring..you have it in one..me, who contained him until he was better and better enough to thank me.
so better that he isn't living on a balconied apartment that he signed without seeing (pretty much like my OT who signed without seeing), and he was grateful for he told me.
"i am on a balcony! the first time i am suicidal again, its over and out mr."
and thats what he saw and i saw.
he was then accepted into a far better environment of a nursing home and he was actually grateful for the stresses in his life to be much lifted and he being elevated to level comfort - for a change!
what can i do against power and the wealthy and the credible.
what i say to them...how many can say that they went the mile in the moccassin of the least able.
those who pissed on your doorstep and yet you drove them to safety and returned to get their home cleaned out in order for them to come back to a better state (this did take money)!
anyone straight out of hospital who immediately goes to another sick person to help her in a difficult situation is someone who has cred.
the difficult situation was dealt with and well.
but now being least able, penniless, considered shit i am receiving this, SHIT.
contempt, rudeness, being stomped upon despite overcoming so much and all the time trying more to overcome.
the barriers in my skills of communication that keep me isolated alone, friendless in a sea of people due to asperger syndrome.
people do terrible things to people.
Irish people, men and women do dreadful things to their fellow humans.
the HSE should be disbanded.
Grants should not be dished out without being overseen as these grants are given to vulnerable people, not all of whom have family support or partners.
Leaving situations so tangled is the art of the wealthy and powerful. (and the Irish)!
they have not a balls idea of how it works on the ground.
who suffers.
the least able.
but if they walked that friggin mile in the fecking mocassins of the flipping disabled and vulnerably insanely poor and powerless with no cred maybe we would all be able to live, with some decency and some respect.
Living is not for the faint hearted, and talking of mocassins, the arrows of darts and pain fly true to the person who can least deal with the flight of the clipped feather and poisoned tips.
who knows this after a lifetime - I do.
and no, it wasnt a contractual agreement either.
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