canvassing in another form

it was difficult i have to say, very.

my twin definitely needed an injection of 'hope' out of the melee and mess of Holy Ireland and her return here.
we made appointments to visit our impending two new 'forever homes' one secured through the urgency of being lost altogether, the other not, due to lack of funding.
Our canvassing for votes in way of accummulating Euros, hit on deaf ears and we have exhausted all our avenues.
the anxiety yesterday went way off richter, we petted each other, sat with heads touching, stroking, reassuring and bolstering up each other, in the only way we can.
we muttered the words with clenched fists together "Please God, do not let us lose this house for twin/me"
so we literally sweat it out, in the hope of miracles, so far none has come.
all the letters we could think of have been posted and so far no replies whatsoever.
Last night we sat together teaming our computer skills, and seeing where my twins flat is, on the markets list we found it there alright.
we decided to do our own publicity.
we found the building on a flickr site and added a comment!
a fantastic sales pitch.
then we cut and pasted the blurb from the estate agents list and sent it to just about everyone we knew, with the words, 'tell all, near and far and far flung too!' TIS UP FOR SALE!
there has been little immediate engagement with those close to our case, either the community teams nor other.
my twin and i are finally alone without a paddle.
we ARE alone.
Very.
the last six months has been constant 'forever home' thoughts.
Constant, via letters, td's, websites, emails, facebook, charities, community care teams, family, next generation, more charities and it goes on and on - to no avail.
We are here talking about two severely disabled adults now.
not just cheats and liers and lazy individuals who sat down on life and duty.  we contributed to life, and certainly to the less able.
Both in our own ways and both with our own reserves and capabilities.
We tend to think that the older you get, the sicker too, the less useful you are to the human family.
Not so, and never so, i have to say.
What does an ancient learn in a difficult life?
I tell you, a lot...
when many would only stop still a while and use this knowledge to help themselves and communities to work together and better all, it can be a useful exercise.
Not obliterate at first chance to purge the community of a nuisance and wasters etc.
Human being by being just that are never wasters and have been put here on earth to help one another.
if everyone was absolutely perfect it would be a dull world indeed, no one would learn the benefits sevenfold in helping another.
No one would even have an ability to care for only in seeing one side of the coin and the other can one appreciate their own lot and then, think.
think about the other side of the coin.
Many do not get that far, to flip the coin upside down and see who is on the other side of their world.
If they do, many ignore.
If they do not, it usually engenders deep inner unhappiness for not 'looking outside the box' can cause your problems to escalate and multiply.
Why?
because its the ONLY thing to focus on.
My twin continues her advocacy for others, along side knowing she is basically homeless and sleeping on her sister's floor.
Myself, i am tired now, and i have not been to my old ladies with maggie mai for a full month and i am upset.
I am too unwell to travel there and put my all and maggie into their frail laps and share their depression - at being dumped basically, blind half deaf most, they are dumped to sup a tea and dry biscuit every day after mass around a hard unforgiving table and with people they have to engage with whether they want to or not.

to fight to stay away from this scenario is most peoples end of life desire.
but many think, the better solution and easiest is to dump and forget and i have seen the trauma that has wracked the lives and emotions of too many.
As they sit there, you can feel the emotion of 'why did they do this to  me.'
and also "I am in the dying homes' and we do not call these the workhouses now.
they are in real terms 'the dying cages' of our elderly and sick we chose to forget and leave at the mercy of a limited company!
Not for my twin or I as we both will come to that and get there sooner rather than later.
but still we feel the emotion that wracks us now -
"why did they do this to me."
this is of course a familial statement but also a STATE statement, as the provision for elderly get worse and worse, and more difficult daily for the disabled in our countries.
As my twin has pointed out - service provision is basic, the intelligence base of the worker in professional jobs is unenlightened, burocratic and unprofessional in terms of comparisons of more modern societies and communities.
to her as the professional she has observed that Ireland is about 15yrs or 20yrs behind most of the developed european countries who have come to grips with language usage, expertise and streamlining of services for the less well able.
Here in Ireland she noted most workers go to work as if ready to go for a hike up the hills in totally inappropiate dress and inappropiate ways of speaking to their clients.
Bear in mind, of our service providers they are NOT working for the HSE, they are working for US!
we are the CLIENTS, who manage to be there so that they can be paid to help us.
without us, their graduation in their disciplines would not be able to be used.
they would have landed on unfertile grounds of unemployement.
but no, they get employed in their career discriptions and they have a job for life in the process.
if we were not here they wouldnt!
Simple.
But not so, never so for the sick and disabled of Ireland.
Has my social worker looked up the rights of people with disabiities either on the National Authority of Disabilities website, this is FOR the government and is an advisory body for those working in disabilitity.  No, he hasnt.
Nor has he even looked up the pleb site of the Citizen's advice Bureau.
this begs the question of how on earth one actually gets through a highly fought for place on a four year course in University, not to even be able to search the webpages for their career practises as in here we have an advisory backup if you are stuck...like.
and that leaves, my twino and I STUCK for others are STUCK and the country is VERY STUCK, our christianity has come UNSTUCK.
i will leave this wuffles and go for a coffee now, a strong one.
talk soon