Friday, February 4, 2011

does anyone ever get this right?

i am here referring to the 'art of living.'
I have asked this before, which is an indicator that the answer has not come or, so far...has not come.

on the scale of 1-10, not on any medical assessment scoring here, this is Life, social model scoring.
er, again, social skills scoring and life skills scoring.
here we have to go from 0-10 literally.
Yes i am Loud, Brash, demanding, pesky, argumentative, I talk too much that on the scale would amount to 10+
I am kind, honest, well i was going to say truthful here but if you are honest are you not truthful as well?
I am funny, creative, caring.
I like a joke.
If i am so BAD, oooh, so very BAD why have i hit the zero on the social skills social model scale?
Yep, I have.
I am so zero i am underground.
Definitely i see no 'light' as in at night i do not, and at day i get out of it, so go underground on purpose.
In the soul too tis dark, yikes tis dark.
Is that age?
Is it the creeky bones and cranky annie?
Or is it literally the 'piss off' which is stated or understated but taken as understood which ever way you look at it.
We go back to the honest bit, the trustworthy bit, oh, i didn't add trustworthy.
i am trustworthy if i say i will do something i do, in general terms, unless i am too sick to, and i am that far too often.
am i trustworthy at language, giving it - no.
trustworthy of details disclosed, yes, very actually.
I put it this way - one apology has lasted as no point in apologising if you do not follow through.  Right? go tell the Pope that.
but i have got that far and i am far from sainthood believe me!
You do!
right - again.
no sainthood but the trap has been clapped shut.
it was always on matters relayed as the forbidden truths.
Tell  me please, you tell the world via facebook OMG, thats sad, and the blog, even sadder that you are humbly regretful of any wrongdoing whether real or imagined, (latter not by me).
So the world will not know, thats a given.
How can the population of Ireland get to know?
Bar the service providers...they are sworn to secrecy (not  true, the files follow from one joint to another).
How, see that bloody avenue out there, the one where the bloody full wheelie bin (not the wheelchair this time) is out the wrong side of the gate,full, over full stuck down with tape as half my bottles are flying high and wide in the wind, well not one person trots up that, who could actually BENEFIT from gossip, i mean benefit!
No one trots the path, period.
thats why the question has been posed.
You FEEL ok, sort have an idea in your mind, social model mind that you ok, really ok.
you have not committed murder, tell me if i have.
You have  not raped, yikes now thats a big one and its way out of my league.
I have not stolen, maybe a cigarette lighter when i was a smoker and a student.
A bank?
Not yet.
If i do i will not be asking any questions cos according to the law irish style that WOULD be getting it right.
so where are the trotters, what the hell do i have three handsets for?
i have two bug eyed trotters as in a hairy chihuahua and a fat chihuahua, but thats no sin.
and thats not what i am REALLY talking about.
but at times i think they are the better kind of trotters.
Lonely - thats sad.
awwwh, you lonely?
Who isnt?
Most would say they are not, not really.
who is the brave heart who says Yes, defo to that question, so we have half the answer.
See the main question.  What does it infer?
my brain is working too fast on this and this is turning in to a shambles of prose.
put it bluntly.
I had a fantastic kindly, laughy bubbly person trot today, up da avenue, she didnt close them gates, but thats not a fault.
she was dressed in black, oh oh, but oh oh it looked so gorgeous - on her, so she is excused, (Mags, black spooks me, when not on another person usually, bar the priests).
we had a coffee, hot cross buns - are we heading into penitential times?
and then it was down to work, sorta.
we ran over some vital points of vital importance to the development of the grand plan.
get your house in order and get the work out of the file and onto anothers, preferably some bankers calender, sorta.
thats the idea, now for the product.
they say in ireland right now that its 'the time' for the small businesses.
meaning bankers are out, and i am in.  small time.
well Mags Brown, (I am not gossiping) is the regular A1 trouper, she has landed an internship and i approve, for what it is worth.
at the ARK woa that will be absolutely great.
I am deviating all over the place here.
she was the only light spark in black that showed today.
and probably will be all week, or at least until wednesday when my twin comes home.
and when the twin comes home as she knows, the only people we see is each other.
we might as well look in the mirror!
we are rambling...which is a very bad sign.
it is.
i shall end this part by saying I HAVE NOT GOT IT RIGHT, the life thingy bits.
On a lighter note, it was yowling out there, and muggins decides to take the trotters out, in the van-o.
on one part of the motorway the van did a bit of a kick, the kick launched it slightly to the right, really startled me, but not alarmed me.
the wind was so strong, the van kicked out.
never happened before.
and bits were flying, luckily not off my van nor others cars either, but it was wild.
we came to a stop.  Thank the Lord, gee i was a tired woman.
this is the tricky part of the tail.
i bundled the chis out, with their 'cosy' and walked towards a cheap store, everyone goes there, (not irish either,say that to the small business enterprises and the gov), walked to the trolleys and put in a euro in the slot, it spat it out.
chis are not wrapped around ankles.
I try another lot of trolls same thing happened.
a tiny queue is forming behind my chis and self.
i am flustered.
euro coin is dropped, expletives exposives.
someone picks it up in my demise, i smile pathetically.
Awwh, they are NICE, the woman says with a cheesy smile.
Ah, yes!  they are!
UGH :(
three trolleys later i discover the coin should be a two euro coin.  thats inflation for you.
someone offered.  i was offended.
'NO, tis fine, ha, yes fine, i shall get it right.
trolley released i dropped the sticks, followed by my van keys, the chis are now settled inside the iron cage and i have drawn a crowd.
i am sweating in confusion, pissed off for bringing the embarrassing causing dogs, and pissed off with the fumbling bumbling ancient here.
we do the shop.
well nearly. a young man carries over a stick i had left in another trolley.  Ah thank you, i muttered sheepishly.
i spent all of my disability pension, yes all.
we are now underground for a solid week!
bird boxes, scope (that was extravegant, but i blamed the bad eyes here and i am being honest too).  If you only knew!
wooden bird table, i missed out on the sought after, all sold, so i over compensated here, on a grand scale.
i got rubber gloves which anglers wear as they stand in waders waiting - for Godot.
certainly not a salmon, they all dead from pollution.
anyway the rubbers should keep the chill out and the raynauds at bay.  can they?  nope, but one must live in hope.
what else?
batteries, bleach and brushes as in dinner plate cleaners.
and i leggit out!
its raining.
i am hot, bothered. someone gives me a two euro coin for the trolley, that saves me going back to the depot and no, nothing is free in this life.
a man, he with the sheepish smile. there were a lot of those around today.
anyway this man offered to hold my driver door open.
ah, thanks i smile stupid sheepishly.
i giggle as he makes a comment as i tap the fat bum of the fat chihuahua, get in there for god's sake, no i didnt use that language.
i was giggling in woeful embarrassent.
what was it?
ah tis being the old eccentric that did it, the one with the flowery van, fashion item dogs, the colour way over the top, bar black which isnt a colour anyway.
and i am fumbling.
ah go to bed.
i will,
thank you.
i depart to bed.
another day over and another question similar to the one first asked is rising deep from underground.

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